Losing faith in Mumsnet?

[TheWho67]

People post for validation or genuine comprehension over an issue.
Replies go either way, agree or disagree, sometimes quite strongly. I've seen a lot of posts were OP has been flamed and wished they had never posted. I've been there, under a different name. I've asked Mumsnet to have more moderators, to keep things on track but I guess that wont happen. I've seen a few posts get mentioned on DM recently and think, thank god that wasn't me! Some posts get quite out of hand and once one negative post starts, other pile on.
YANBU - to think people should stick to the question asked and not unpick every single thing.
YABU - people will naturally be critical because it's on-line and not face to face and why post on a public forum if you can't handle it.

@TotorosFurryBehind

I often wonder how many people on Mumsnet are actually mums and how many are 15 year old boys trolling.

Having been a parent of two 15 year old boys I'd say none would be on here .

MarieIVanArkleStinks - what exactly are you implying? Come on, speak out.
Your post is exactly the sort I speak about. Trying to belittle other posters into, what exactly? Where is this superior place you come from?
Isn't that how you want me to react???

Apologies for responding to the goading. I should respectfully bow out now.

Fully agree people on here can be vile trolls. Sometimes people post for support and I have often seen women posting for support in abusive relationships and get berated and abused by other women on here. Also I think MN should give you more ownership over your own posts, ie delete when you're not happy and don't want it up any longer or restrict someone's further comments on your post. God knows why it goes through them and they then take ages to resolve anything.

The spiteful ones on here who scrutinise and pick at everything or berate others we have nicknamed the bhb, bored housewife brigade

@Spreadingcomfrey

Let’s be honest, it’s a load of bored women and some men that have different opinions.

I think that's a bit harsh and dismissive. Many ordinarily dynamic people can be felled by the relentlessness of child-rearing. Especially when sleep-deprived. And Mumsnet provides a lifeline to people who are parents of DC with SEN, people who are caring for elderly parents, forces ohs, expats etc etc, in other words, loads of people who might otherwise feel somewhat isolated through circumstance.

And it's perfectly possible to offer a different opinion without being offensive.

I’m taking of the ones that are being rude etc... as I said in the main part of my post, most of the time it’s fine and people are giving genuine advice.

@Ghosts2020

The spiteful ones on here who scrutinise and pick at everything or berate others we have nicknamed the bhb, bored housewife brigade

Who is 'we'?

*Would just like to point out that my worries are based on dodgy men (not specifically trans people) exploiting a new law (which has already happened) not trans people being respected. Self Id in law has genuine real world consequences attached to it. Gay sex/relationships being legal never did. The arguments do look similar, but that does not mean that they come from the same place.

I am very left wing, liberal minded, and bisexual*

@TheMarzipanDildo (fabulous name) You certainly make an interesting point, and obviously the actions of predatory men are of concern to me, as I think they are to most women. I just can't bring myself to curtail the rights and freedoms of trans women for the actions of men, any more than I would accept that for cis women. I have no trouble believing that for some gender criticals the arguments come from a good place, my concern is that they often come from a bad place, and it is demonstrably a commonly held view for the far right & the religious right. These views, for them, go hand in hand with their very backwards view of women and rigid gender stereotypes. Now obviously most of us will share some views with some very different people but I'm very interested to know how you, as a left wing person, feel about the times when feminists have allied with these people? (I'm not being snarky, I'm genuinely interested your answer but obvs you don't have to answer).

@hokeywokey, myself and others friends on here.

Well done to you for not saying, "Loosing faith..."; there are many who would have.

I repeat, Mumsnet is not an entity in which to put your faith and, considering how big and busy it is, it is very well moderated.

It's poorly and inconsistently moderated. MN has always had trolls, MRAs and, for the last few years,TRAs. The difference is that in the past, trolls and goady posters were dealt with quickly and decisively. Now, it's as though there aren't enough mods and half of them are deliberately moderating in a way that causes division and inconsistency. Lots of disablist and racist posts are allowed to stand. Posts smearing entire groups of posters are allowed to stand. And completely irresponsible threads about Covid are also left.
Some posters are so consistently posting in bad faith their names are immediately recognisable (and not just in AIBU) and yet they are still allowed to post. It's tedious having to wade through posts full of lies and nonsense to try to have any kind of reasonable discussion.
But it would be easy to fix these issues and there are some sections that are amazing and unique on the internet for centering and empowering women.

I've had to name change recently, because every time I posted I got jumped on. It felt like people were looking out for my name to have a dig.
If it still happens with my new name, then I know I really am an arsehole.

We are in a global pandemic - licking down, losing jobs, just fed up.
If this doesn't influence behaviour nothing will. People are grumpy and annoyed and it reflects in the posts imv.

Oops locking down

Not true Straven. Well true, but not causing what the OP is referring to. This has been happening on MN for umpteen years. Long before it could be blamed on the frustrations of a lockdown.

@AnneOfQueenSables

Now, it's as though there aren't enough mods

Given the current economic climate, this is probably the case - I'm guessing that a proportion of the community team will currently be furloughed

Overall I think they do a good job. It can't be an easy one with such a big site, and inevitably judgements have to be made, and judgments are subjective rather than objective.

@AuntieStella

The ageism, and to a certain extent the disablism, is very deeply ingraned

And the 'grammar police' aren't remotely interested in clear use of standard English. They're just being gits.

MN does champion clear use of standard English though - it arose from consideration of those who accessed the site using assistive technology and the wish not to exclude them. And it continued with an expectation that those who can use standard English, do so. Because that makes the content much more accessible for those with dyslexia and those for whom English is not a first language.

I applaud MN wanting to be inclusive to people using assistive technology.

What is irksome however, is that they allow shoddy sponsored adverts that are like strobe lights flashing (presumably designed to attract people's attention) which can set off a sufferer's epilepsy. Why are they allowing those advertisers to appear on a site that encourages diversity I'll never know.

I posted once asking for advice and some of the responses were vile! Some were supportive and helpful so I took them and they really helped. I ignored the awful ones and noticed they were the same names I’d seen many times doing the same to others. There are some either bored or very unwell people on here imo