Guess this years John Lewis advert

[Tellmetruth4]

A friend WhatsApped me the following which made me PMSL. I don’t think it will end up being too far from the truth:

‘Absolutely dreading the John Lewis Christmas advert this year. Probably a cover of Fix You by a children’s choir, singing to all their nan’s via Zoom while they stand on their doorsteps freezing their tits off to clap for the NHS in the 4th lockdown of the year’.

What do you think this years JL Christmas advert will be?

It'll be something schmaltzy about how staying apart has brought us closer together.

I reckon family members/friends having lots of fun together. Lockdown hits and then it'll show them being sad and lonely because they're apart. There'll be a ring of the doorbell, oooh it's a package! What's inside? It's a laptop and now they're all eating Christmas dinner "together" via Zoom.

The man on the moon will be twitching curtains and the dog will have worn out its trampoline. Everyone will be just plain pissed off.

@Gancanny

It'll be something schmaltzy about how staying apart has brought us closer together.

I reckon family members/friends having lots of fun together. Lockdown hits and then it'll show them being sad and lonely because they're apart. There'll be a ring of the doorbell, oooh it's a package! What's inside? It's a laptop and now they're all eating Christmas dinner "together" via Zoom.

Gancanny's called it!

Christmas dinner at BoJo’s house with many children and no nanny, Dominic Cummings will appear like all post-ghost Scrooge like with turkey and all the trimmings.

Lol. Keep them coming! Should’ve added that you should include what folksy version song sung by a woman with a ‘fragile’ voice they will choose?

Oh yes definitely something about zoom and some socially distanced carol singing

Song will be we’ll meet again by Vera Lynn

And will be sad grannies staring through a rainy window thinking that they won’t see their family every again until technology (queue products JL sells) brings them back together.

It will deffo feature a nhs worker, coming home from a long shift to some fluffy slippers.

All the supermarket ones will probably play on the fact that they kept the country fed through lock down hoping we forget they hiked all the prices up

This: always makes me laugh.

Lol @Crankley should’ve had Trump shitting on the trampoline at the end! Would’ve been pretty accurate.

Oh yes definitely something about zoom and some socially distanced carol singing
Zoom by Fat Larry's Band, of course. It's got rainbows, too.

"Oh zoom, you chased the day away
High noon, the moon and stars came out to play
Then my whole wide world went zoom
(High as a rainbow as we went flyin' by)"

Yep a warbly and almost unrecognisable cover of Zoom by Fat Larry's Band, accompanied by rainbows, clapping for the NHS, bulldog spirit innit. And then we close up on a tired NHS worker walking home in the rain. It's dark and a little damp. She walks past the rainbows, a small child waves to her, but she goes home alone (I'm channelling Ashley Jenson's bedsit scenes in Extras).

But then - THEN! - a courier comes with a laptop and Lo - there was light. Close up on lap top. Fade to 'and the-en-en, my whole wide world went zoooooooooooooooooooom.'

if it doesn't match Gancanny's prediction I'll eat my hat!

Yes it will definitely be what Gancanny said!

The main thing I dread about the JL ad each year now is everyone bloody sharing it and saying 'oh, I have something in my eye'....

What about the Sainsbury's ad? Do we think bog roll and pasta will feature somewhere?

Tune will be “it’s the end of the world as we know it” REM. Some kid will find a piece of coal at the bottom of his sock hung by a fire. He has no presents because his neighbour reported him to Santa for failing to self isolate when he’d been sent home from school for the 53rd time for having a cold.

Here we are as in olden days
Happy golden days of yore
Faithful friends who are dear to us
Gather near to us once more
Through the years we all will be together
If the fates allow
Hang a shining star upon the highest bough
And have yourself a merry little christmas now

This thread has really made me laugh!

Won’t be Zoom as other networks are available etc...but possibly a breathy female singer singing “ Don’t stand so close to me” ..whilst showing inventive ways to pull crackers from 2m apart...

A cheeky chappie, dressed in wesket and flat cap, sings a song about how if we only buy stuff from Amazon, the UK high streets and shopping centres will die, to the tune of “We’re on the road to nowhere” by Talking Heads

vm.tiktok.com/ZSmrWRMG/ saw this today 😂😂

If they don’t make it funny instead of sentimental shite this year then I will tear my own eyes out. The last thing we need is yet another thing to make us cry. We’re all emotional enough as it is and don’t need twee, fake, guilt trippy consumerism to rub it all in.

@Gancanny

It'll be something schmaltzy about how staying apart has brought us closer together.

I reckon family members/friends having lots of fun together. Lockdown hits and then it'll show them being sad and lonely because they're apart. There'll be a ring of the doorbell, oooh it's a package! What's inside? It's a laptop and now they're all eating Christmas dinner "together" via Zoom.

I reckon Gancanny works for John Lewis' advertising team. This is spot on.

There might not be a J.L. by Xmas.

Maybe Amazon will make a Xmas video.

A Waitrose grocery driver delivers the food. He looks wistfully at the warm glowing living rooms and Christmas tree lights through the windows,the children’s laughter, the happy families.
As he unloads his final box it’s a single portion Christmas Pudding, a meal for one , a mini bottle of Prosecco.
It starts to snow just as he carries the box to the door where he meets a Nurse trying to get her key in the door and shelter from the snow after a long day ....
She switches the lights on and a warm glow lights both their faces as their eyes meet. To be continued....

My campaign will be called..The keyworkers meet at Christmas. I haven’t worked the song out yet.