Guess this years John Lewis advert

[Tellmetruth4]

A friend WhatsApped me the following which made me PMSL. I don’t think it will end up being too far from the truth:

‘Absolutely dreading the John Lewis Christmas advert this year. Probably a cover of Fix You by a children’s choir, singing to all their nan’s via Zoom while they stand on their doorsteps freezing their tits off to clap for the NHS in the 4th lockdown of the year’.

What do you think this years JL Christmas advert will be?

I think there will be a nod towards BLM somewhere in the ad

They could actually just advertise what they sell. I know they are a department store but I actually don't know all the different departments. I grew up in a market town. John Lewis stores weren't even on my radar. I now live in London. I have been in the Oxford Street branch a few times but it's overwhelming and chaotic. I can't say "I want to buy X" and be actually certain that they might sell it.
Sorry to spoil the fun folks but their adverts are just useless as actual advertising.

I reckon they will fast forward through the key moments of this year then get to 31 December. It will cut to the scene where that woman from Dallas wakes up and says ‘It was all a bad dream’. The calendar goes back to 1 Jan 2020 to an alternate reality where we all get to start again. The song will be ‘If I could turn back time’ by Cher sung by Laura Marling.

@bookmum08

Such a fun sponge 🧽

ivfbeenbusy I know I know. Every Christmas though I want to bang my head against a wall at these stupid adverts. You know how everyone has daft things that just really wind them up - John Lewis Xmas ads are on my list. Sorry
Although nothing ever will top the Sainsbury's Mog the cat ad. That was the best ad. Nothing will ever be as good....ever.

Am laughing at The Frogs Chorus.

What ever bollocks they tout - Kevin the Carrot will blow it away!

I think it will be a massive montage of nurses. Played to ‘Hero’ by Mariah Carey.

This year should be a homage to years gone Past.....

The boxer dogs are too knackered for trampolining because they've been Walked by every member of the family for their 1 hour exercise

The snowmen have to socially distance 2 metres and mask up

The man on the moon is quarantined with symptoms

The dragon is sad because he's not invited to the village celebrations because he is the 7th person and there are 6 there already under the rule of 6

The bear and the hare get the run of the city centre during quarantine when everyone stayed at home

Oh god. This has made me cry with laughter...

I'm predicting a sad nurse in full PPE knocking off her shift to the soundtrack of Gary Glitter's 'Another Rock N Roll Christmas!' (Just to ironically lay on more shit on a shit year).

Sung breathily by Billie Eillish. Then sad nurse gets home to find that the kids have done nothing but play Fortnite all day, there's nothing in the freezer and the supermarket has been picked clean.

Sad nurse mouths 'Fuck this shit' before breaking all social distancing rules and driving at speed towards the sunset over Barnard Castle...

Probably.

I also predict that the Waitrose ad will be lots of Waitrose Partners flicking the V's at a passing Ocado delivery van...

Something involving giant metaphorical social bubbles made of champagne or extra virgin Ligurian olive oil.

Perhaps they can ask Ashley Banjo to be the creative director just for a twist

@theluckiest

Oh god. This has made me cry with laughter...

I'm predicting a sad nurse in full PPE knocking off her shift to the soundtrack of Gary Glitter's 'Another Rock N Roll Christmas!' (Just to ironically lay on more shit on a shit year).

Sung breathily by Billie Eillish. Then sad nurse gets home to find that the kids have done nothing but play Fortnite all day, there's nothing in the freezer and the supermarket has been picked clean.

Sad nurse mouths 'Fuck this shit' before breaking all social distancing rules and driving at speed towards the sunset over Barnard Castle...

Probably.

I also predict that the Waitrose ad will be lots of Waitrose Partners flicking the V's at a passing Ocado delivery van...

Love it

This is my favourite thread for a long time.

It’s pandemic tv advertising bingo.

• zoom
• a granny looking wistfully out of a window
• a keyworker
• rainbow fucking anything
• smiling eyes above a mask

@PennyDreadfuI

This.

I am howling !

@bookmum08

They could actually just advertise what they sell. I know they are a department store but I actually don't know all the different departments. I grew up in a market town. John Lewis stores weren't even on my radar. I now live in London. I have been in the Oxford Street branch a few times but it's overwhelming and chaotic. I can't say "I want to buy X" and be actually certain that they might sell it. Sorry to spoil the fun folks but their adverts are just useless as actual advertising.

What would you like? An alphabetical list of everything they sell scrolling down the screen while the theme tune from Star Wars plays?

Or set to the soundtrack of driving home for Christmas the music comes to a screeching halt when the driver is seen attempting to either drive into Wales or Cornwall 🤣

What would you like? An alphabetical list of everything they sell scrolling down the screen while the theme tune from Star Wars plays?

That would be an awsome advert.

@ivfbeenbusy

Or set to the soundtrack of driving home for Christmas the music comes to a screeching halt when the driver is seen attempting to either drive into Wales or Cornwall 🤣

They could pan to a curtain twitcher calling the local cops for added drama In the background the curtain twitcher’s house would be filled with Bero flour, Andrex, Long life Milk and paracetamol

What would you like? An alphabetical list of everything they sell scrolling down the screen while the theme tune from Star Wars plays?

😂😂😂😂

Good call on "True Colours" - prime target to get slaughtered by the breathy ones.

Reckon at some point early on there'll be a kid on tiptoe in the garden putting the palm of its hand up to the window pane that the mournful old person is gazing out of, who will put their palm up to the child's palm separated by the glass.

The bear and the hare get the run of the city centre during quarantine when everyone stayed at home

Ooooh I like this. Possibly also- dolly/ teddy bear left in school making sad eyes while the children are gone.

A nurse isolated from her family due to front line work, missing calls from the kids, things like school play, wobbly teeth etc, until Christmas when she gets a box of her favourite things from her kids and husband- photos, some of her stuff & some JL treats, something referred to in the footage as being sonething she wanted.

Either that or real photos/footage of people touching windows/looking sad etc & then being filmed opening gifts & cards from each other.

Music for either will be a shit ellie goulding-esque cutesy version of love will tear us apart. The end message will then be some bollocks about love always finding a way.

@MrsToothyBitch

All set to a cover of All I Want for Christmas 🤣

Father Christmas in jail for visiting multiple households on one night whilst also having a raised temperate, continuous cough and loss of taste/smell

A small child with their mother walking up the street in the snow at night. The child starts singing a song or carol (silent night maybe?) and one by one a window opens in each house as they join in the singing. We end at grandma’s house where she’s left a present outside and the child excitedly drops off hers and they wave through a frosty cheerfully lit window.

Bonus points if they can get Captain Tom Moore instead of grandma.