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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Guess this years John Lewis advert

260 replies

Tellmetruth4 · 22/09/2020 18:43

A friend WhatsApped me the following which made me PMSL. I don’t think it will end up being too far from the truth:

‘Absolutely dreading the John Lewis Christmas advert this year. Probably a cover of Fix You by a children’s choir, singing to all their nan’s via Zoom while they stand on their doorsteps freezing their tits off to clap for the NHS in the 4th lockdown of the year’.

What do you think this years JL Christmas advert will be?

OP posts:
IsAnybodyListening · 22/09/2020 19:29

The soundtrack will be 'God Save The Queen'.

The short add will depict little children ringing doorbells in the snow, leaving gifts at doorsteps with elderly grandparents peeping from their windows wearing masks, wiping away the tears and smiling at the little ones.

The next scene will cut to people eating Christmas dinner alone and smiling when a Zoom family call comes up.

The next scene will be elderly grandparent falling asleep, and dreaming of a Christmas when they were little during the war, but awaken to realise THIS HAS BEEN THE BEST CHRISTMAS in comparison.

Advert ends with little child falling asleep in drained mothers arm, when stones hit the window, only to see Granddad and Grandma in the garden building a swing and slide set.

God save the Queen finishes, and church bells are heard in the distance.

Greydove28 · 22/09/2020 19:30

@Ihatefish

Tune will be “it’s the end of the world as we know it” REM. Some kid will find a piece of coal at the bottom of his sock hung by a fire. He has no presents because his neighbour reported him to Santa for failing to self isolate when he’d been sent home from school for the 53rd time for having a cold.
Haha! 🤣🤣
DownThePlath · 22/09/2020 19:31

I'm certain it'll feature everyone on their doorsteps, singing something along the lines of 'fix you', and dropping presents for each other 2ft away on the floor

Natsel84 · 22/09/2020 19:32

Someone sat on the toilet surrounded by 100's of toilet rolls , eating a bowl of festive pasta shapes 🤷‍♀️

PennyDreadfuI · 22/09/2020 19:33

This.

Guess this years John Lewis advert
ivfbeenbusy · 22/09/2020 19:34

It will definitely involve

Song - we'll meet again
Zoom/Skype or whoever has slipped JL the most money
Sad grandparents
NHS worker
It will use people's own footage because JL doesn't have the millions it usually does to spend on the advert

changeofscene · 22/09/2020 19:34

@Ihatefish

Tune will be “it’s the end of the world as we know it” REM. Some kid will find a piece of coal at the bottom of his sock hung by a fire. He has no presents because his neighbour reported him to Santa for failing to self isolate when he’d been sent home from school for the 53rd time for having a cold.
Bahahaha ha ha

Thank you for the only thing that's made me laugh today Grin

wowfudge · 22/09/2020 19:39

I think the theme will be "Thank you" and feature NHS and key workers, grandchildren waving to granny from outside and putting presents on the doorstep, etc. and they'll thank their colleagues and the public for shopping with them. Possibly Shine by Take That as the music, probably covered by Anne Marie, and a voiceover about difficult circumstances bringing out the best in peoole ending on a close up of a shiny bauble.

Whatwouldscullydo · 22/09/2020 19:40

Soundtrack- all by myself

Will show some dude in a hazmat suit walking around an all but empty supermarket. Every now and then he will suddenly stop at the tape on the floor.

Cut to being at home and the dog tucking right in cos he has 100 cans of dog food stacked in the corner .

The Xmas Dinner will consist of 3 pieces of pasta, a floppy carrot and some unidentifiable left overs he found in the freezer.

Then- a light bulb moment he remembers the laptop. Zoom coming right up...

Except...

Dog has chewed the cable...

Amazon showing it of stock til February

Fade out..

Hiremee · 22/09/2020 19:43

Either a key worker type tribute to With ‘hero’ playing or a zoom granny with a slow version of ‘one call away’ playing..

TheUnwindingCableCar · 22/09/2020 19:46

They should use Covid as an excuse to stop the waste of money that the adverts are and instead use the money to pay their staff a small bonus

MitziK · 22/09/2020 19:49

We open with a crappy montage of Zoom waves and claps and lessons.

A child looks out the window, lonely, as the camera pans to a silver framed photograph of grandparents.

As the strangled gasps of some female singer murdering both her own voice through the medium of vocal fry and whatever originally upbeat and ballsy song about people's character being tested rev up, (have they massacred True Colours yet?) child gazes into the massive garden.

They creep past the other parent who is preparing nice looking food in their fancy kitchen into the huge rear garden whilst wearing their £86 pound striped pyjamas. And then is seen creeping back in as night falls.

Mum comes off shift at the hospital where she's been making old people smile and removes her PPE, sighing and sagging under the weight of inherent respectability.

As glittering stars pepper the perfect night sky, Mum comes home.

Exhausted Mum comes in and creeps to the child's bedroom, only to find nobody there.

Child has wrapped a present and gone to leave it on the huge bed, but has fallen asleep whilst waiting for Mum (instead of Santa this year, because FAAMILY'S wot's important).

Mum climbs onto the bed and lies down with child as a shooting star is seem through the huge window. Dad comes in and gently places a supersoft cashmere blanket in rainbow colours over the pair of them as the horrid croaker splutters out 'Like a...rainbow...' and superimposed, we have

Thank you NHS.

Bet the bidding war for anything involving rainbows went crazy as soon as they started to be used during lockdown.

Mynameisrow · 22/09/2020 19:53

I think it will be themed around key workers. Possibly we will watch a nurse leave her house in the morning have a stressful day in PPE, she will then drive home past people clapping and cheering at their doorstep. She will pause outside her window and watch her family on zoom to granny and grandad. She will walk in and they will hug. Throughout there will be some form of cgi animal, with the woman which they will then flog relentlessly.

Song will be some acoustic viral Tiktok song

At the end they will tell you that you can buy the laptop for £x amount.

Inthemuckheap · 22/09/2020 19:56

Little elderly lady alone with her bedridden husband on Christmas Eve The District Nurse leaves and wishes them a Merry Christmas. Little old lady sighs and goes to the loo - no toilet paper.

She dons her coat, hat, scarf and gloves and kisses her husband goodbye as she goes to the shop.

The shelves are empty and the toilet paper is sold out but there's a young lad who has just bought the last pack at the check out. He gives half the pack to the little old lady for free. She smiles and the Christmas spirit is alive and well.

CathyorClaire · 22/09/2020 19:56

A masked ball for six with a bubble machine, paper plates and plastic cutlery.

AIwaysThereMoonah · 22/09/2020 19:57

I am going to say

Paul McCartney and the Frog Chorus - We all stand together

Win or lose, sink or swim (Board game/Bath toys)
One thing is certain, we'll never give in (Kids yawning but trying to stay
up)
Side by side, hand in hand (Same kids in Xmas jammies sleep at last)
We all stand together (Parents skyping it all on their phones...)

Play the game, fight the fight (Cousins of children playing board
game, pillow fight or banging saucepans)
But what's the point on a beautiful night? (cut to starry sky/scenes of separated families sharing their experiences live)

Arm in arm, hand in hand (images of key worker staff linked to see patients go home / or various peoples' arms linked while looking at the family on their phones)

We all stand together (all children holding up rainbows or Happy Xmas signs in a multi-screen format)

John Lewis Thanks All Of You for shopping with us

Put the cheque in the post, ta Wink

Usernamenotavailabletryanother · 22/09/2020 19:59

Black screen with a soundtrack of someone screaming for two minutes solid, I reckon.

VodselForDinner · 22/09/2020 20:01

Opening montage of some children hanging their Christmassy rainbow drawings on a window while someone like Pixie Lott warbles a fast song too slowly.
Something like Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.

Their dad tells them to get their pajamas on, and get to bed or Santa won’t come.

Next morning their mother, a doctor, comes home on Christmas morning, she’s finished a night shift and her husband gently thumbs the bruises on her face from wearing a mask.

Her mixed-race children (god forbid they’ll actually show a black couple with black children) comes downstairs to see if Santa has been. Our doctor glances sadly at a photo of grandad. We just know he died of Covid.
(Pixie Lott gets to “from now on our troubles will be miles away”)
The husband gently pats her arm while the children shriek and open their toys.

Switch to everyone sitting down to dinner. Meaningful glances.
We pan to the fair side of the table.
There’s an iPad.
There’s grandad! He lives!! He’s having his dinner too!!! It’s a Christmas miracle!!!!

Pixie Lott does a supremo warble on “we all will be together, if the fates allow”

DollyMixtureLulus · 22/09/2020 20:01

I'm going for a slow mo Can't Take My Eyes Off You.

Close ups of Joseph Joseph utensils being banged on doorsteps.

Pan to baking montage and door stop deliveries by children with just a smear of flour on the tip of their nose.

Cut to cups of tea over Zoom, dancing round the kitchen and one obligatory tear rolling down.

Finish with a cutesy package being left on a doorstep for a nurse.

Holothane · 22/09/2020 20:01

Hopefully not like the add for eltons johns crap film awful add, I hated it.

sapnupuas · 22/09/2020 20:02

The closest guess should win a prize.

Tellmetruth4 · 22/09/2020 20:03

I’m actually crying with laughter @Usernamenotavailabletryanother!

OP posts:
Arthersleep · 22/09/2020 20:05

As long as it's not Elton John on Zoom, I will be happy!

ReallySpicyCurry · 22/09/2020 20:06

I am snorting at these, especially the undead grandad Grin

TitianaTitsling · 22/09/2020 20:06

Breathy 'keep holding on' for the song...
"Keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through
Just stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you
I'm here for you
There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through
So far away
I wish you were here
Before it's too late
This could all disappear"
Person on own/nhs nightshift sadly looking at photos, then suddenly as pp say knock at door, laptop and zoom call!

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