Guess this years John Lewis advert

[Tellmetruth4]

A friend WhatsApped me the following which made me PMSL. I don’t think it will end up being too far from the truth:

‘Absolutely dreading the John Lewis Christmas advert this year. Probably a cover of Fix You by a children’s choir, singing to all their nan’s via Zoom while they stand on their doorsteps freezing their tits off to clap for the NHS in the 4th lockdown of the year’.

What do you think this years JL Christmas advert will be?

I’ve nominated this for Classics- made me laugh so much. Thank you!

@mumsnet can we have this in classics please??

@bookmum08 every single thing in every single JL ad is available in-store. Furniture, bedding, pictures, tech, toys, clothing, make-up - it's kind of their 'thing'.

@StylishMummy - I want to check back in December and see who won!

Big wide shot of a family home with brightly lit windows. It is CLEAR that there are SEVEN people round the corner. Next door neighbour - older man - picks up the phone to dial 111, then decides to take matters into his own hands.
Cut to next door neighbour being ushered into the dining room and there's only six people there - the seventh figure is a life-sized Captain Tom doll, just the perfect purchase to celebrate the bulldog spirit of 2020. How they laugh - then he notices granny over the table. There is chemistry. They pull a giant cracker (cos it has to stretch for two metres) and we fade out by zooming into Capt Tom's eyes. He winks.

Merry Christmas.

Festive dinner at Barnard Castle.

Played out to Sorted for Es and Whizz.

Just a hunch 🧐

LonnyVonny but last years ad was in a sort of fantasy old fashioned village with a dragon that burnt things. What actual modern 21st century products were in that ad?
Before that it was all about a piano - do they actually sell pianos? Apparently not I heard.
Man on the moon suggested they sold telescopes. Do they?

They could advertise their birmingham store? I hear they want to get rid!

@HeyMicky they'll be able to tie merch in with thank you nhs or an inspiring message with a rainbow or something.

If the JL campaign doesn't feature a nurse or a granny, I bet the Boots campaign will.

The blank screen and 2 minutes of screaming is still making me chuckle. Very very funny

This thread is the best thing I've read in ages

@ivfbeenbusy

An empty toy factory at the North Pole because the elves were furloughed until October

The penguins complaining because they had to work through furlough and don't feel appreciated

A fat Rudolph on a treadmill trying to lose that lockdown weight gain

Mrs Clause divorcing Father Christmas because he's driven her nuts working from home

All to the tune of Heaven knows I’m miserable now

If the snowmen don’t have masks on I’ll eat my hat!

Scenes of turkeys enjoying a riotous Christmas, with an upbeat version of The Winner Takes It All blasting out in the background.

It'll be lonely this Christmas - a Mud song from the 70s.
Cue erection of a marquee outside grandma's and Christmas is resumed observing social distancing

I do think the character for this year will either be a cuddly Captain Tom or a NHS nurse doll.

@BritWifeinUSA

I do think the character for this year will either be a cuddly Captain Tom or a NHS nurse doll.

Oh blimey yes of course

I hope they do Father Christmas using a multitude of creative delivery ideas to avoid entering households and risking significant fines e.g drone delivery, a reindeer-led volley down the chimney until he can’t find a solution for one house and a boy puts his hand up to the window. Father Christmas puts his palm there too. Through the glass goes all of the magic, and the boy feels the first hug he’s had all year. Christmas wish complete. We’ll meet again is playing.

Unfortunately he then goes through a mental breakdown. Unable to cope with the sudden rush of humanity, we see him jack someone’s car only to see Dominic Cummings hiding in the back seat ready to pounce. A torn and bloodied Santa hat lies in the footwell. Fade out.

Dominic Cummings appears, telling us the public must comply or you’ll end up disciplined. Smiles direct to camera, never blinking. Cut to black.

@Crankley

This: always makes me laugh.

It was a funny video but it's since made the song quite depressing for me!

I also think Gancanny's prediction is bang on! I will now be veeery surprised if it doesn't featuring elderly relatives receiving new smartphones/tablets/laptops.

Now they’ve axed their staff bonus scheme for this year, I really hope they don’t spend a million on a shit advert.

If they do though - I think OP is about right with the content.

@bookmum08

ivfbeenbusy Penguins don't live at the North Poll.....

Pretty sure Father Christmas and the elves don't either 🤣🤣

Have they ranksacked Heroes by David Bowie yet?

Or a delivery worker all exhausted and tired after delivering to all the children's houses. Comes back to the warehouse and something has been made for him (or her!)

dear god they cant reduce war heroes to cuddly toys

I love this thread - I woke up feeling really bleak this morning and it's made me laugh out loud. Thanks!

However, and I might be imagining it, but I thought I heard ages ago that JL wouldn't be doing their usual advert this year..... I hope they are and it's one of these