To think this is beyond unfair? I can wear what I want

[WatchingWithDisinterest]

To the office itself.

I wear trainers with my dresses to work in the morning. I'm first in, usually. And have my heels on before anyone really gets there. Private office spaces, not public facing.

My boss came in early (a rare occasion), last week and smiled, did a sort of shake of the head. I didn't have a clue what he was talking about. Then I saw he pointed at my shoes! (I was just walking in at the time).

Anyway, Friday he was in early again. This time he approached my desk and said ''The shoes? Please would you wear the smart heels in instead?'' Before I could reply he chucked and said ''You're a professional! Come on!'' Then before I had a chance to say a work he turned away and started talking to a colleague about some other rubbish.

AIBU to think he's wrong to ask me this? I put everything I've got into my job. I'm usually first in, often last out

[MadameBlobby]

@DancingInTheGarden

Report him. Unless this is office policy, start a sex discrimination paper trail. Or give him one last chance by saying your professional competence is not dependent on the shoes you wear or anything you wear really. Also tell him none of the men including him wear heels (unless they do). Then be open that you feel this is sex based discrimination. If he keeps at it, then report. Am tired of this shit. He is a professional and I bet he doesn't wear heels.

All this. Mysogenistic Power freak.

I agree. And even if it is office policy for women to wear heels, the policy is a crock

And again, I’m sure you’re brilliant and hugely dedicated to your work, but stop being first to arise and last to leave. There’s no way you should be doing that when people on £££ more are working fewer hours.

[Barrowmanfan22]

Wasn't there a thread last week about a woman having to wear heels? Bizarre.

[napody]

@LetItGoHome

Definitely continue wearing your comfy shoes in. I would also update my work wear shoes to smart flats. Then involve HR at ay further comments. Sexist pig! 🐷

Was going to suggest the same. Some smart brogues. And suggest he try walking to work in heels if he mentions it again. What a knob.

[iftherewereahorseyinthehouse]

Say you'll change into your heels when he changes into his. Unbelievable. That's really not okay!

[okokok000]

He is ridiculous. I work in the city of London (am a lawyer) and I do the same thing as you. In fact, unless I'm seeing clients I keep my trainers on and my bosses don't bat an eyelid!

[TheDuchessofMalfy]

I started wearing brogues with trousers when I was in the office just before lockdown. Really comfortable and saved the bother of carrying spare shoes in. But otherwise, or if I wanted to wear heels in the office, I’d wear trainers on the way. Doesn’t everyone?

Does you boss want you to be uncomfortable or something? Does he have a fetish for women’s discomfort?

[Batshitbeautycosmeticsltd]

Seriously, this dinosaur will never change. I was working one job and the boss, a woman, was still pulling us up on not wearing tights under long skirts in 1994 in stifling heat, no open toed shoes, either. We were wearing ballet pumps or court shoes with half-stockings. She was a total bitch and a horrible leader. Turnover was huge. She was one of those where if you stuck it for 6 months you could get a job just about anywhere afterwards. It wasn't a PA role, either.

Ignore and get another job, you'll gain nothing busting your arse for this sexist prick. He doesn't believe women deserve anything but being 'the secretary'.

[Batshitbeautycosmeticsltd]

In the legal field, too, of course the PAs don't work the same hours, even if they're paid overtime, which, increasingly, they are not. They aren't earning anywhere close to the same money and don't have the same potential for advancement unless they're further training. Fuck that!

[NeedToKnow101]

@MintyMabel

Tell him when he walks to work in heels then so will you.

What she said ^^

[NoMoreReluctantCustodians]

I'm livid. Unless he is specifying that all males must also wear heels, surely this is sex discrimination?

Some people cant wear heels

[JohnMcCainsDeathStare]

I can't wear heel, that and the fact there is literally no job in existence that pays me enough to damage my kinetic chain. Does he wear heels?

[WatchingWithDisinterest]

It seems people have the impression I'm a Legal PA? I'm not! Although I'd like to, but have second thoughts now people are saying law firms are generally stuck in the 80's

It's really hard to get a job as a Legal PA, even if you're a very very good quality PA. They won't seem to take anyone without some sort of law environment experience

[Elsewyre]

Did he specifically say heels or smart shoes?

As he would have a point about trainers vs smart shoes but specifically heels is off.


I'm kinda glad my footwear is considered ppe and provided


Do you own any 9" "stripper heels"? Malicious compliance all the way :p

[diddl]

Presumably he said "the smart heels" because that's what Op usually wears?

I doubt he's insisting on heels (which seem to be Op's choice) just not trainers!

Although given that he thinks he can dictate what she wears to travel in, who knows?

Have you spoken to anyone about it yet?

[WildfirePonie]

I wouldn't wear heels again after that. Why don't you get yourself some nice smart flats OP?

[CandidaAlbicans2]

Step one, I'd suggest, is to check your contract and make absolutely sure that you're in the right and that he can't dictate what you're seen wearing entering the building. Then, assuming you're right, email him and politely let him know that you always change into your office shoes as soon as you get in and wear them within your contracted hours. I realise you said you'd just mention it to him but I do think it's wise to cover your arse by putting it in an email.

[Batshitbeautycosmeticsltd]

@WatchingWithDisinterest

It seems people have the impression I'm a Legal PA? I'm not! Although I'd like to, but have second thoughts now people are saying law firms are generally stuck in the 80's

It's really hard to get a job as a Legal PA, even if you're a very very good quality PA. They won't seem to take anyone without some sort of law environment experience

It doesn't matter. Your boss is a sexist wanker. I'd email the external HR and ignore your boss. And start looking for another job. I've never had an experience of a misogynist dinosaur that ended well - it extends to all areas of their professional life.

[alibongo5]

@Hazelmazel

I'd be keeping my trainers on all day if I were you. I certainly would never wear heels again, just to make a point. What is the dress code where you work? I'd start wearing the same type of shoes as the men wear, it's beyond ridiculous that women are expected to wear uncomfortable, impractical shoes in order to look 'professional'.

Totally agree. I wouldn't be changing at all from now on (unless there was a dress code for both men and women).

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

@thesquirrelsnuts

Ridiculous. I cycle to work and turn up in shorts and a t-shirt with holes in. sometimes I even have - wait for it - HAIRY LEGS!! Get it up ye!

I look smart and professional within 5 minutes with bike gear hanging up out of sight behind a door.

For this comment alone, I love you, @thesquirrelsnuts!