To think this is beyond unfair? I can wear what I want

[WatchingWithDisinterest]

To the office itself.

I wear trainers with my dresses to work in the morning. I'm first in, usually. And have my heels on before anyone really gets there. Private office spaces, not public facing.

My boss came in early (a rare occasion), last week and smiled, did a sort of shake of the head. I didn't have a clue what he was talking about. Then I saw he pointed at my shoes! (I was just walking in at the time).

Anyway, Friday he was in early again. This time he approached my desk and said ''The shoes? Please would you wear the smart heels in instead?'' Before I could reply he chucked and said ''You're a professional! Come on!'' Then before I had a chance to say a work he turned away and started talking to a colleague about some other rubbish.

AIBU to think he's wrong to ask me this? I put everything I've got into my job. I'm usually first in, often last out

[Nofty]

Work dress codes firmly belong in the 50s. I work in HR. All offices I know are moving away from "smart" office wear.

I wouldn't wear heels to work even if I were in a 350k banker job.

[Bleepbloopblarp]

If this is true I honestly can’t believe this shit still goes on?

Dressing smartly, fine, but surely there is no way in hell a boss can insist a woman wear “heels” nowadays without being scared of a sex discrimination lawsuit? On what planet would anyone think this was ok anymore? (Boss OR employee?)

[mumsthewurd]

I don't understand why you didn't stand up for yourself OP
Oh purleeeezz! Have you only ever worked for reasonable people? You can't have been in many workplaces, or been desperate to hang on to a job.

Arrange a short one-to-one meeting
Whatever you do DO NOT do this. Put it in writing where you have EVIDENCE and it's not he said/she said.

[TheMandalorian]

This is difficult because he is the boss and if he is this much of a twat about a pair of shoes I'm guessing he would be difficult if you raised an issue. In my old job I would have had no problem dressing completely down or pointedly not wearing heels again. But I wasn't enamoured of my job and there were other options for me.
I would be dusting out my cv though and start looking for a better place to work.

[LomasLongstrider]

I'd start wearing the most casual, masculine shoes I could get away with, just to annoy him. And I'd be pointing out his riddiclous comments made me have a good think, "if he hadn't spouted his nonsense without letting me explain, I'd still be wearing the smart heels". But I'm perverse like that.

[ChickensMightFly]

[wheretonow123]

"Send him an email and explain. Heels are not comfortable to travel in for you and you change your shoes on arrival.

He's an idiot."

This

[LomasLongstrider]

Although I like BehindtheBumps e-mail idea! Put the wind up him.

[contrmary]

I used to work in a place like this. Run by a dictator who decided we weren't allowed to arrive at work and change shoes or clothes there. For a while people would arrive on bikes and get changed in the street outside, so the MD banned that too. When I left people were just cycling in in their work clothes and sitting there stinking of sweat all day, clearly an improvement.

[loobyloo1234]

I'd take great delight in going to HR about this OP. He has no right the stupid sexist pig to tell you what to wear outside of working hours

[DM0uze]

I was on a flight once & I saw a female air hostess change from red high heels, to lower heels of the same colour, same style

I thought, how clever !

[DM0uze]

Your work colleague is a dinosaur

[SantaClaritaDiet]

@MuminMama

I think it's misogynist nonsense to make a woman wear high heels in an office. Having said that, if you are going along with wearing what you are told to wear later in the day, I don't know why you'd make an exception for when you first get in. Clearly at least two of your colleagues were already there.

What are you on about?! Absolutely bonkers.

As above, most of even the most corporate people turn up in the office wearing trainers at best, to cycling or running gear! You arrive in the office, shower, get changed. That's just normal. Changing your shoes is the least of anyone's concern.

I wouldn't wear a raincoat or hat and scarf in the office either - I still wait until I am inside to take mine off

It might become a bit tricky in the current climate where all pedestals and lockers should have been removed and you need to keep personal belonging to a minimum, but that clearly is not the issue here.

Complete nonsense.

[80sMum]

Tell him you'll wear "heels" when he does the same.

[unmarkedbythat]

Firstly, anyone who wants to tell me what to wear to and from work can sod off: I think schools who try to dictate the appearance of their pupils on their journeys are petty and sad enough without employers starting the same for adults. Secondly, no one needs heels to be smart.

[SoTiredNeedHoliday]

I'd wear flip flops every day in the office just to make a point! How ridiculous that he feels he can say anything like that.
He certainly can't make you wear 'heals'.
I'm so surprised he'd risk a HR complaint saying anything near that .... so old-fashioned!!!

[SantaClaritaDiet]

@Nofty

Work dress codes firmly belong in the 50s. I work in HR. All offices I know are moving away from "smart" office wear.

I wouldn't wear heels to work even if I were in a 350k banker job.

that's not strictly true.

Men might as a whole wear a lot less ties than they used to, but people still wear suits anyway and "smart office wear" is definitively a thing!

You don't just rock up at work in "smart casual" clothes. That said, I have been wearing flat shoes as much as heels, in the office, in meetings and in interviews and no one has ever bat an eyelid. I bet no one even noticed.

[Higgeldypiggeldy35]

Why are heels dress code? That's so sexist and misogynistic! Would he be comfy in heels all day? What would happen if you wore smart flats?

[madcatladyforever]

Nab him when he is not busy and tell hi. You dont walk to work in heels or your be crippled but you always change the minute you get in the office. Dont let him get away with this unchallenged or he will start bullying you.

[QuestionableMouse]

@LetItGoHome

Definitely continue wearing your comfy shoes in. I would also update my work wear shoes to smart flats. Then involve HR at ay further comments. Sexist pig! 🐷

I wouldn't change a thing to suit him. In fact I'd probably turn up in my wellies or dog walking boots. What happens outside of work hours in none of his business

[chocolatesaltyballs22]

What an utter dick. Tell him to do one. So happy my office has a casual wear policy, not that I've been near the place in 6 months!

[justanotherneighinparadise]

You know I’d have to carry on exactly as I have been doing just to get him to escalate it to a point you could actually have your voice heard and make a complaint. Misogynistic twat.

[liveitwell]

Well he's a miserable knob end!

I would send him an email explaining that you wear comfortable shoes to and from the office and that you have professional shoes for working hours. God he sounds awful.

[SorryImKnew]

Depends on dress code and whether you were already on the clock.

[PrivateD00r]

I would be tempted to email him, copying in HR if you have a contact, something like....

Dear arsehole-boss,

Further to your comments yesterday regarding my footwear on arrival to the office; I appreciate that you won't be aware as I usually arrive in well before you in the morning, but I always change my footwear on arrival at the office. This is because heels are incredibly uncomfortable so I prefer not to wear them during my commute.

I would appreciate if you could show me where it is written into policy that females must wear heels in the office, as I was very surprised to receive comments for wearing flat shoes?

Many thanks