To think this is beyond unfair? I can wear what I want

[WatchingWithDisinterest]

To the office itself.

I wear trainers with my dresses to work in the morning. I'm first in, usually. And have my heels on before anyone really gets there. Private office spaces, not public facing.

My boss came in early (a rare occasion), last week and smiled, did a sort of shake of the head. I didn't have a clue what he was talking about. Then I saw he pointed at my shoes! (I was just walking in at the time).

Anyway, Friday he was in early again. This time he approached my desk and said ''The shoes? Please would you wear the smart heels in instead?'' Before I could reply he chucked and said ''You're a professional! Come on!'' Then before I had a chance to say a work he turned away and started talking to a colleague about some other rubbish.

AIBU to think he's wrong to ask me this? I put everything I've got into my job. I'm usually first in, often last out

[CoraPirbright]

“Dear (sexist misogynist arsehole)
Further to your comment this morning regarding my footwear, I just wanted to clear up a point as I didn’t get the chance to at the time as you turned away to speak to X.

I commute into work in my trainers and then change into smart heels immediately on arrival. It is a very common practise amongst commuters and something I have done every day since I began working here.

I hope this clarifies the position.

Yours sincerely, Watching”

And copy it to HR, not blind copy but proper cc so the twat can see it.

[Hingeandbracket]

I put everything I've got into my job. I'm usually first in, often last out sad
Stop doing this now.
It is pointless unless you are self employed.

[Ihatemyseleffordoingthis]

Why should you have to wear heels?

Fucking misogynistic culture

[Graciebobcat]

Are you a junior lawyer by any chance? Law firms are often 20 years behind the rest of the world.

I got told off for wearing trousers when I was a paralegal. By a female lawyer. In 1999.

[SlightlyJaded]

Who are the 2% who voted YABU? Are you mad?

EMAIL IMMEDIATELY.

Dear Boss

I tried to explain this earlier, but you turned to speak to another colleague as I was about to address you.

I wear comfy shoes to travel in, as do most women these days. The fact that you want me in 'heels' in a non-public-facing environment, is already at odds with the century we live in and speaks somewhat of your dated attitude, but I will continue to wear smart shoes to work, noting that it is company policy. However, I will travel as I see fit and until I see all men travel to work in heels - perhaps whilst cycling? I shall continue to assume that common sense and a more evolved way of thinking, will prevail.

Kind regards
Female Employee

[Orangesox]

The smart heels? I'd ram the smart heels up his arse frankly - what other misogynistic bullshit is going on in your office?

A blunt email to make him aware you will not tolerate being told what to wear outside of work, and that he is wildly overstepping the mark is best here.

[Jux]

Anyone travel in by bike? Preferably a bloke, who wears all the kit and changes into office clothes when he gets there.

Go to HR.
Buy a pair of brogues and wear them.

[whatswithtodaytoday]

OBVIOUSLY he's a sexist cunt and needs pulling up by HR. But also - stop wearing smart heels. Get yourself some nice comfy flats or brogues and enjoy not being in moderate pain all day.

[Funkypolar]

When I went back to work after a foot fracture I wore trainers and used crutches in a City office. Nobody said anything to me! My foot wouldn’t fit into any type of work shoe.

[unmarkedbythat]

Smart dress codes have always left me cold, tbh. And ties...ties are the most ridiculous of things. I get why women's 'smart' clothing has the standards it does, it's the hangover from women's clothing being part of controlling us as much physically as anything else, but ties puzzle me. They don't look good, they don't do anything or serve any purpose, they are infection spreading nightmares, they are so totally useless as to be a joke. Why do we insist that schoolchildren and adult men can only be smart with a tie on?

[queenofknives]

@WatchingWithDisinterest, please ignore all the well-meant messages to email or speak to your manager. GO STRAIGHT TO HR. Make a complaint. Get everything recorded. He is in the wrong and he'll be pulled up. If he isn't, then you start building a legal case. If you send an email or have a conversation, you run the risk of this being turned into a "personality clash" or of you being accused of being unprofessional etc. Go straight to HR and make a complaint.

[Zaphodsotherhead]

I have arthritis in both feet and have to wear the ugliest shoes known to man.

Would he be able to dictate that I wear heels? I'd have to be pushed up and down in my chair if I did....

Shoes should be practical for the job you do. Heels are just for the male gaze.

[Sooverthemill]

This is appalling! Would he say the same to a man who , say, cycled in?

[ALLIS0N]

I disagree, don’t make a complaint to HR. Just email them and ask for clarification of section x of the staff handbook which refers to dress codes. Say you are confused because of what your line manager said which was Y. Ask if that’s company policy.

[Sooverthemill]

Agree with @queenofknives

[VickySunshine]

I put everything I've got into my job. I'm usually first in, often last out Stop doing this now. It is pointless unless you are self employed.

Have to agree in this instance. All your time, effort and focus is not being recognised and you are being criticised for what you wear on your commute into the office. I would leave the misplaced loyalty in the toilet and start looking for another position. It becomes a lot easier to ignore the office wanker and adjust your time and priorities once you have reconciled in your head that you are moving on. Worked for me.

[1starwars2]

I agree, he's said it twice, HR is your best course of action. Don't intimidated by a sexist twat. I am not sure about heels full stop. Why do you wear them?

[Apple222]

Send him an email and explain. Heels are not comfortable to travel in for you and you change your shoes on arrival

This.

Hopefully he will reply by email too...

[serialreturner]

Tell HIM to wear heels. Wanker.

[MrsPinkCock]

I had a boss who did this to me as well. I had a 30 minute walk to the train station, a 30 minute journey in, and then a 15 minute walk to the office. Fuck wearing heels through all that.

Unsurprisingly he was a mysoginist twat who had five grievances raised against him for bullying women.

[Spidey66]

He's bonkers. I wear trainers all day at work, but see loads of people on my commute wearing trainers with smart office clothes or uniform and imagine they're doing exactly the same as you

[Mychitchatdays]

I always had change my footwear before entering the building. We had a strict dress code both men and women and had to look perfect at all times.

[Hormonecrazyhell]

Pfft! Tell him to put some pretty stilettos on. sexiest pig. I’d put a complaint in with hr

[MulticolourMophead]

@ALLIS0N

I disagree, don’t make a complaint to HR. Just email them and ask for clarification of section x of the staff handbook which refers to dress codes. Say you are confused because of what your line manager said which was Y. Ask if that’s company policy.

I agree with this. Start a paper trail.