To think this is beyond unfair? I can wear what I want

[WatchingWithDisinterest]

To the office itself.

I wear trainers with my dresses to work in the morning. I'm first in, usually. And have my heels on before anyone really gets there. Private office spaces, not public facing.

My boss came in early (a rare occasion), last week and smiled, did a sort of shake of the head. I didn't have a clue what he was talking about. Then I saw he pointed at my shoes! (I was just walking in at the time).

Anyway, Friday he was in early again. This time he approached my desk and said ''The shoes? Please would you wear the smart heels in instead?'' Before I could reply he chucked and said ''You're a professional! Come on!'' Then before I had a chance to say a work he turned away and started talking to a colleague about some other rubbish.

AIBU to think he's wrong to ask me this? I put everything I've got into my job. I'm usually first in, often last out

[DancingInTheGarden]

Report him. Unless this is office policy, start a sex discrimination paper trail. Or give him one last chance by saying your professional competence is not dependent on the shoes you wear or anything you wear really. Also tell him none of the men including him wear heels (unless they do). Then be open that you feel this is sex based discrimination. If he keeps at it, then report. Am tired of this shit. He is a professional and I bet he doesn't wear heels.

All this. Mysogenistic Power freak.

[MotherOfDragonite]

What are his shoes like? Smart heels?

What a dickhead.

[pigsDOfly]

I wouldn't be explaining to him about wearing trainers to work and changing when I get there as some pp have suggested. You don't have to justify your footwear to him if you're not wearing the trainers in work.

I agree with emailing HR and asking for clarification, and I'd be wearing smart flats from now on.

I frequently wore heels when I was working, but that was my choice, other times I'd wear smart flats. What I wore on my way to work was my business.

We seem to be going backwards.

I really don't like the idea that a man in the workplace feels he has the right to tell a woman what to wear on her feet on her way to work.

[Pineapplemonkey]

@Graciebobcat

Are you a junior lawyer by any chance? Law firms are often 20 years behind the rest of the world.

I got told off for wearing trousers when I was a paralegal. By a female lawyer. In 1999.

I can beat that- I wasn't allowed to wear trousers to work in 2001 because the senior partner didn't like 'girls in trousers' (firm of accountants, thank god they don't exist anymore). I left because they didn't want me to do my higher level accountancy qualification as you've guessed it- I'm a girl!
Incidentally I haven't worn a suit or heels to work since 2005, I wear whatever I want to work, even more so now I'm WFH....... I really must go and get dressed before my video call this afternoon......

[WatchingWithDisinterest]

I haven't read all through the comments yet as I'm working. But no I'm not a junior lawyer, I'm a PA

I think I will be having a word with him.... We have an 'external' HR if it came to it, but most HR quires go through me!

[WatchingWithDisinterest]

What a dick! Maybe he hasn't noticed you wear heels and thinks you always wear trainers?

I'm his PA. He sees me constantly

[IsItTimeForCoffeeYet]

@DM0uze

I was on a flight once & I saw a female air hostess change from red high heels, to lower heels of the same colour, same style

I thought, how clever !

Most airlines issue female crew with 2 pairs of shoes, one for walking around the airport looking pretty in and one lower pair for actual work in.

[iMatter]

Sexist bastard

Tell him you'll walk in to work in heels when he does

[Conkergame]

OP he’s a dick. Honestly, I’d start looking for a new job in your position - there are lots of well-paid legal PA jobs and good legal PAs are in shorter supply than demand, so I’m sure you’d get something good quite easily. Tell him exactly why you’re leaving when you quit - ie you couldn’t bear to work with a sexist.

If you happen to LOVE everything else about your job then I’d just knock on his door when he’s alone and say “just about the trainers - I wear them to travel into work as I can’t walk easily or quickly in heels and they’re actually bad for your feet. I’m often first in and last out so am always wearing smart shoes during contracted work hours. I trust you’re not trying to dictate what I wear in my own personal time?” If he tries to answer back, just get short with him “I’m going to wear what’s safe and comfortable for my commute”

What an utter dick!

[OllysArmy]

As I am an awkward person I would be leaving my trainers on all day. Having said that I work for a company that has dragged itself out of the 1980s and we can choose to wear whatever footwear we like even to meetings with clients. The only time I wear heels now is to a wedding or a party and then not always as I prefer a maxi dress and sandals.

[PattyPan]

Like pp I (pre covid wfh) work in the City and the majority of people I work with, both men and women, come in trainers/comfy shoes and then change into smart shoes which they keep at the office. Your boss IBU!

[Aweebawbee]

As you were walking in, no he's being ridiculous. Sitting at your desk the second time, he might have had a point.

[Jux]

Ah, you're his PA. When I was a PA-type-person I had a good enough relationship with my boss that I could be fairly relaxed and casual with him. I do remember being able to be 'cheeky' in normal conversation wtih him, so I would be able to ask him why he thought I should wear the posh shoes when travelling as it would undoubtedly slow my journey and possibly render me incapable of standing for the first half hour while my feet recovered..... I might even have taken a shoe off and asked my boss to give it a go (I've done far worse disrespecting than that I assure you).

Do you have that sort of relationship?

[Twillow]

]angry]

[Twillow]

even

[jeremypaxo]

I'd be buying myself a pair of smart flat brogues and wearing them every day instead of heels.

[Batshitbeautycosmeticsltd]

I'd honestly look for a new job. Sexist prick dinosaurs like him never change. And the fuck I'd be first in and last out. Definitely email HR for clarification of the dress code and then carry on wearing your trainers in but you're on a hiding to nothing with this dickhead.

[YoBeaches]

He actually can't tell you to wear smart heels, that's sex discrimination. And the rest is just him being a prick. What you wear for your journey to work is non of his business.

[Pobblebonk]

If you're this man's PA, I understand even less why you are working such long hours, and indeed why you need to wear heels at all. It sounds as if they're economising on adequate staff at your expense. I strongly suggest you lay it on the line that you will continue to dress appropriately both for coming in to work and whilst at work, and that includes wearing trainers on the journey to and from work. Start keeping to your contracted hours, and start looking for another job so you have somewhere to go to if or when your boss starts making a fuss.

[MintyMabel]

Tell him when he walks to work in heels then so will you.

[PablosHoney]

Oh yuck yuck yuck, yanbu.

[janeymaxaroni]

We're not allowed to wear heels in work for health and safety reasons so maybe he should be aware that many industries don't promote heels and that just because you are a woman it doesn't mean you have to!!

[RegularHumanBartender]

As you were walking in, no he's being ridiculous. Sitting at your desk the second time, he might have had a point

You think he has a point? You really think that this man should be able to tell OP to wear heels?

[MilkOfThePuppy]

Having a professional dress code? Fine. But insisting on heels is idiotic.
It's doubly infuriating because he's a man dictating that women who work for him wear the uncomfortable and potentially damaging torture shoes. Acting this way when he knows you change out of the trainers for the day makes it even worse.

Maybe he's "just" unhappy that you're not changing into nice shoes immediately upon arriving at work, but if he honestly insists on heels (specifically) and expects you to wear them on the way to work, too, he's horrible.

[updownroundandround]

I'd be making damn sure I never wore heels at work again !

I'd be wearing trainers to travel to work, as usual, then putting on flat pumps.

I'd also be saying something like '' Why did you ask me about the trainers I wear to travel to work if you're not going to ask Simon to stop wearing his cycling helmet to work ??'' Just to make sure you get his misogyny noted and the fact that you wear trainers to travel to work, which is bugger all business of his !