To think this is beyond unfair? I can wear what I want

[WatchingWithDisinterest]

To the office itself.

I wear trainers with my dresses to work in the morning. I'm first in, usually. And have my heels on before anyone really gets there. Private office spaces, not public facing.

My boss came in early (a rare occasion), last week and smiled, did a sort of shake of the head. I didn't have a clue what he was talking about. Then I saw he pointed at my shoes! (I was just walking in at the time).

Anyway, Friday he was in early again. This time he approached my desk and said ''The shoes? Please would you wear the smart heels in instead?'' Before I could reply he chucked and said ''You're a professional! Come on!'' Then before I had a chance to say a work he turned away and started talking to a colleague about some other rubbish.

AIBU to think he's wrong to ask me this? I put everything I've got into my job. I'm usually first in, often last out

[JellyBabiesSaveLives]

Time to buy some brogues. The ones in the men’s section will be wider and sturdier (ie more comfortable and longer-lasting) and they go down to a size 6.

[pictish]

Absolute bellend. I’d just carry on as is.

[BadEyeBri]

I'd tell him that you'll wear heels as soon as he does. He's a pig

[Sunnydaysstillhere]

Tomorrow I would be wearing Minion wellies in the office all day...

[IsoBordem]

This is insane. I would have jokingly replied that I would travel to work in high heels when he did.

It’s times like these I’m glad I work in digital and can wear what I want!

[Sophiafour]

Getting more like the run up to Gilead everywhere we look right now, it seems, here and in the US...I thought this had been settled once and for all after a petition went to parliament in 2017 but no, in true MP Male Chauvinist Pig Majority style it wasn't... although there's some vague stuff out there about treating men and women in an equivalent way and some warbling about dress codes. (Law firms came in for particular criticism.)
I also can't walk on anything but carpet or indoor tiles in heels higher than an inch or so and have been prone to sprained ankles and tripping my whole life; doesn't stop me doing my job since it's bits of my brain I I mainly use, not my feet. In my time I have also had to walk through some very dodgy areas to get to work where prancing about in heels made me more vulnerable than I liked (including some city centres early in the morning).

This isn't the 1980s or even the early 1990s. Would he have made the same snide comment if you'd been wearing trousers? Would he give a bloke a hard time for the same reasons? Hasn't he ever seen Working Girl?! And he does know he doesn't own your time outside work, right? I'm mak8bg a wild guess here...is he over 50 with a particular worldview? (This was exactly the type of twattish behaviour I had to put up with as a temp in private firms which is one of many reasons I jumped at the public-ish sector when I could...)

[Sophiafour]

*making

[IsItTimeForCoffeeYet]

When he turned and started to talk to someone else, why didn't you say "Excuse me, I was about to explain" loudly and obviously and then tell him in front of your colleague. You need to stand up for yourself and not allow yourself to be spoken to so rudely. But since the moment has gone, I would send a polite but firm email explaining why you were wearing trainers but asking for clarification of office policy that states women must wear high heels. And ensure you get a reply, and then keep it for future reference.

[cologne4711]

I'd tell him in future I'm going to keep my trainers on. Who does he actually think he is? He's a sexist arse, as others have said.

[GingerScallop]

Report him. Unless this is office policy, start a sex discrimination paper trail. Or give him one last chance by saying your professional competence is not dependent on the shoes you wear or anything you wear really. Also tell him none of the men including him wear heels (unless they do). Then be open that you feel this is sex based discrimination. If he keeps at it, then report. Am tired of this shit. He is a professional and I bet he doesn't wear heels.

[Chloemol]

Lots of people wear trainers to walk to the office, then change when they get there

I would just carry on, but make sure I change as soon as I get to the office

[Hazelmazel]

I'd be keeping my trainers on all day if I were you. I certainly would never wear heels again, just to make a point. What is the dress code where you work? I'd start wearing the same type of shoes as the men wear, it's beyond ridiculous that women are expected to wear uncomfortable, impractical shoes in order to look 'professional'.

[MrPickles73]

I would tell them to fnck off and look for a new job.

[MadameBlobby]

I’d raise a grievance. Sexist cunt.

[FortniteBoysMum]

Tell him that whilst they may be a requirement during work hours how you get there is up to you. Maybe he should try cramming his feet in heels for an entire day. I reckon he will realise then the less time in them the better and shut up after.

[MadameBlobby]

And stop arriving early and leaving late as well. It won’t get you anywhere.

[Sophiafour]

Loving the wellies comment upthread though. Niw I'm a raddled old hag (as opposed to a stroppy young one...) I'm a fan of shoes by Dr Keller and Ecco and even wider Clarks and Hush Puppies and Hotter. Lots of my friends are nurses and wear crocs or duty shoes while working so it's a good job he doesn't work in the clinical bit of a hospital (we could always tell when the management consultants were on the prowl by the way they teetered about on the gravel in their kitten heels and I was told a tale once of a newly qualified doc who didn't realise such footwear might not be the smartest choice for somewhat slippery ward floors.....)

[Sophiafour]

*Now

Why is there still no flipping edit button!!!

[diddl]

He's not expecting Op to wear heels is he-just to travel/walk to work in whatever shoes she will be wearing for the day?

He surely can't do that?

If she decided to jog in in lycra & change on arrival that would be ok wouldn't it?

[listsandbudgets]

Ignore him its not as if you're spending g the day in hot pants and crop top. You're quite reasonably using safe shoes for driving/walking/cycling etc and changing on arrival.

This kind of thing makes me very grateful Ive spent most of my career working for a company where unless you're seeing clients or outside professionals most people except the partners wear jeans and T shirt and even of of them used to appear in cycling shorts.

OP have you considered buying a pair of mens smart shoes.. that should put him in a lovely quandary. I think it should be illegal to make women wear high heels at work anyway!

[Choosingmyring]

He surely doesn’t realise you’re going to change when he first sees them.

[listsandbudgets]

^ one of the partners used to appear in cycling shorts ^

[Purpledaisychain]

Cheeky git. I would have approached him when he had a spare minute and said,

"About the shoes. I wear them to travel to work in safely and change them as soon as I get here,"

[EpidermolysisBullosa]

I work in central London and the majority of my colleagues, both male and female, wear trainers for their journey to work and change into office style shoes once they get to their desk.

Completely normal to do this!

I would also make a point and buy a nice pair of smart flat shoes for the office instead of your heels. I wear black sketchers flat shoes as I have awful foot issues but you can get smart ballet pump type shoes, ladies brogues etc. You are under no obligation to wear heels and damage your feet - a friend of mine had a 'wear heels all day' job from her late teens and had to have corrective surgery in her early 20s.

[orangejuicer]

And copy HR in on anything you send. He sounds like a dinosaur who probably has bully-ish tendencies. I left such an individual at my last job and it was the best thing I ever did.

Also, stop working over your hours. They are exploiting you.