Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sister fallen out with me because I won’t break the new Covid rules

185 replies

User1927472940191 · 14/09/2020 18:18

Name changed because this is outing.

My sister’s wedding was planned for May this year, obviously it didn’t go ahead. They rebooked for late September, hoping that the world would be back to normal.

She has a church wedding followed by a reception in her fiancées garden booked, with a marquee. 30 guests are going. I’ve said that while I know the rules don’t make sense, I think it’s important to do the right thing and follow them. I’m going to attend the wedding, then they are throwing an additional reception next year which I will attend. But I’m not willing to go to a party in his parents’ back garden.

She is extremely upset with me, and saying her interpretation of the rules is that a reception in their private back garden is OK.

For info, I’m also 8 months pregnant, there isn’t going to be any catering at the reception (due to Covid regulations), no chairs in the marquee, and no access to toilets. It’s 4 hours drive from where I live.

I really hope I’m doing the right thing. What do others think?

OP posts:
skippy67 · 14/09/2020 18:20

I thought weddings were exempt from the rule of 6?

marchez · 14/09/2020 18:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

vanillandhoney · 14/09/2020 18:21

@skippy67

I thought weddings were exempt from the rule of 6?
Only the ceremony, not the reception if it's in a private residence.

No, YANBU OP. If they get reported, everyone could be fined. Not worth the risk unless they're willing to pay everyone's fines for them!

marchez · 14/09/2020 18:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

skippy67 · 14/09/2020 18:24

Oh right. So OP could go to the ceremony then if it's in a public place, with numbers restricted to 30?

Di11y · 14/09/2020 18:24

They could have a reception at a commercial venue as the venue is covid secure (and helps the economy) but not at a private venue. Doesn't sound much fun for you. No chairs or food!

Topseyt · 14/09/2020 18:25

At 8 months pregnant it would be the lack of seating and catering at the reception that would make me not want to go, not ridiculous Covid rules.

That would have been what I would have said, and it would have been the truth.

Figgygal · 14/09/2020 18:26

She’s wrong even before considering you being 4 hours Away and being pregnant

OverTheRainbow88 · 14/09/2020 18:27

I’m sure your sister would get you a seat for the reception if that is one of the main things preventing you from going.

And use the partners toilet?

vanillandhoney · 14/09/2020 18:27

@skippy67

Oh right. So OP could go to the ceremony then if it's in a public place, with numbers restricted to 30?
Yep, pretty much. The idea is that public venues have to be COVID secure whereas private gardens won't be.
Alloftheboys · 14/09/2020 18:27

Ask her if she’s happy for you to piss in her IL’S back garden. If the answers no then you’re not going 😃

CastleCrasher · 14/09/2020 18:29

Never mind the covid rules, at 8 months pregnant there's no way I could have stood up all evening with no food or toilets, whether I wanted to or not, so it would be a no anyway.

AntiHop · 14/09/2020 18:33

She's being unreasonable, you are not.

Mindymomo · 14/09/2020 18:34

At 8 months pregnant I couldn’t stand for long and had to go to the toilet every hour.

cologne4711 · 14/09/2020 18:36

Yes you are doing the right thing. No food (since when has that been anything to do with covid)? No toilets (since when has that been anything to do with covid)?

And 4 hours away?

I wouldn't bother, and I am not 8 months pregnant.

ApolloandDaphne · 14/09/2020 18:37

That's not a reception then is it? It's standing about aimlessly whilst bursting for the loo. I would be saying no too.

Outnumbered99 · 14/09/2020 18:37

She's being a dick on many levels. You ANBU. Covid or no covid that is an invite i would decline at 8 months pregnant!

ShouldWeChangeTheBulb · 14/09/2020 18:37

I would break the rules in your situation but I definitely wouldn’t go to any party, pregnant or not, with no loo or chairs. Sounds like a nightmare.

Iloveacurry · 14/09/2020 18:38

Where exactly do they expect everyone to go to the toilet then?

CalmdownJanet · 14/09/2020 18:40

I wouldn't go on the grounds of no toilets alone. I think this is a load of shit, throw a party for 30 people or don't but FFS no toilets or seats because if covid but ye can all squash into the one tent, bollocks, don't go on those grounds alone

MarshaBradyo · 14/09/2020 18:41

How does no access to a loo work?

Yanbu

R2221 · 14/09/2020 18:41

What’s everyone else going to do? They’ll have drinks - won’t they??

RonObvious · 14/09/2020 18:41

8 months pregnant and no toilets? Nope. Nope, nope, nope.

Thisisnotnormal69 · 14/09/2020 18:45

How does she expect guests will cope with no toilets?! Unless it is a very short reception/the guests all live 5 minutes away!

RedToothBrush · 14/09/2020 18:50

Her 'interpretation' of the rules is wrong.

They say quite specifically any wedding related stuff must be in a commerical venue with a formal covid safe risk assessment to be legal.

This party is not legal.