Sister fallen out with me because I won’t break the new Covid rules

[User1927472940191]

Name changed because this is outing.

My sister’s wedding was planned for May this year, obviously it didn’t go ahead. They rebooked for late September, hoping that the world would be back to normal.

She has a church wedding followed by a reception in her fiancées garden booked, with a marquee. 30 guests are going. I’ve said that while I know the rules don’t make sense, I think it’s important to do the right thing and follow them. I’m going to attend the wedding, then they are throwing an additional reception next year which I will attend. But I’m not willing to go to a party in his parents’ back garden.

She is extremely upset with me, and saying her interpretation of the rules is that a reception in their private back garden is OK.

For info, I’m also 8 months pregnant, there isn’t going to be any catering at the reception (due to Covid regulations), no chairs in the marquee, and no access to toilets. It’s 4 hours drive from where I live.

I really hope I’m doing the right thing. What do others think?

Does she realise that there's probably a good chance one of her neighbours will report her. If they do that'll be the party well and truly over

No chairs, no catering, no toilets, so what’s the point!

My goodness! I'm not even the littlest bit pregnant (let alone 8mths) but I certainly wouldn't attend this reception. Standing for ages, no toilets, no food? What on Earth is your sister thinking?

I think you are already doing well to do such a long journey there and back for the actual wedding ceremony with your due date so close by then.

I hope you've scoped out where there are likely to be toilets open on the journey there and back?

Like other PP's I think emphasising your own personal circumstances, rather than Covid compliance (though important too in this case) might give her pause for thought? 🌹

You’re not unreasonable at all, she is. Covid aside, you’ll be 8 1/2 months by then. How long will it take you to get back to your hospital should you go into labour unexpectedly, over 4 hours? You can’t sit, eat anything or go to the loo?

Sod that, I wouldn’t go whatever the rules and I’m not about to give birth.

@User1927472940191

Is this your sister by any chance?!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4019544-AIBU-to-still-hold-this-wedding-reception

No food, chairs or toilets!!?? Who would actually agree to attend that!?

Behind their shed is going to stink of pee by the end of it!

I don't understand how this event is conceivably workable. What on earth are people supposed to do if they need the loo? Standing around at social distances awkwardly listening to speeches with no food available sounds tedious in the extreme. Even if I lived nearby, if I were invited to this I think I'd invent an urgent reason to be elsewhere.

I thought wedding and receptions up to 30 people were exempt. So on that basis YABU

@Thenneverendingstorohree

I thought wedding and receptions up to 30 people were exempt. So on that basis YABU

Only in a Covid Secure Venue. Private residences are ineligible and could attract massive fines. This garden reception would be illegal.

I’d say she is risking a fine of up to 10k, like this student has just received:
www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/student-19-fined-10000-50-22675801

But also, no chairs, catering or toilets? Who on earth does she think will want to hang around at her reception?

Well covid wouldn't stop me going, but the fact there will be no seats, no toilets and no food would put me off, even when not pregnant.

You're doing the right thing, OP. Not only do you have to think of yourself/baby standing for hours with no toilet etc bit it's been made very clear that over 6 people, even in gardens, is against the law.

Your sister is being really unreasonable, unfortunately.

Wtf is going to be happening in this tent? No food, no chairs, no toilet? What’s the point?

I’m assuming that they are going to be drinking but then what about when they inevitably need the loo?

I wouldn’t go, COVID or no COVID!

@User1927472940191 chances are that a neighbour will see cars pulling up and dob you in anyway. Do you really need that aggro. with police questioning you and risking a fine, when all you want is a chair and a toilet.

No food, loos or seating? That’s tough on anyone attending. Yikes.
Will there be booze?
Booze and no food sounds risky as heck!
How will people take the weight off their heels!
Ouch!
Not good idea.

No toilets?? A four hour drive each way ? At eight months pregnant,
I wouldn’t even go myself.

Receptions of up to 30 people are legal, and the 'covid secure venue' is advisory, not mandated by law.

However - no toilets and no food?? Wtf?

Weddings are still 30 people she's not breaking any rules🙄

Does your sister not think a marquee will get repirted. Even the govt are encouraging ppl to report their neighbours if the break tge new laws.

From this:

www.gov.uk/government/publications/covid-19-guidance-for-small-marriages-and-civil-partnerships/covid-19-guidance-for-wedding-and-civil-partnership-receptions-and-celebrations

This guidance supersedes previous guidance. From 15 August 2020 receptions and other celebrations for weddings and civil partnerships can take place, but only in a COVID-19 secure environment/venue. Such events should not take place in people’s private homes (or adjoining outdoor spaces like gardens), given that these will not have the same COVID-19 Secure measures in place. Capacity at a wedding or civil partnership reception or celebration (including the couple, guests and third-party suppliers, but not venue staff or third-party catering staff) should be no more than 30 and safely accommodated with social distancing in a COVID-19 secure venue. We will re-assess guidance in relation to larger wedding receptions in line with the development of the scientific advice.

It’s pretty clear that this wedding reception is exactly the type of event the government are NOT ok with going ahead. If she wants a reception it needs to be in a restaurant/hotel function room etc. Or 6 people total in the garden.

For those saying its ok. Heres what the govt say.

This guidance supersedes previous guidance. From 15 August 2020 receptions and other celebrations for weddings and civil partnerships can take place, but only in a COVID-19 secure venue. Such events should not take place in people’s private homes (or adjoining outdoor spaces like gardens), given that these will not have the same COVID-19 Secure measures in place

I do wish people would actually read the new guidelines and educate themselves before spouting off incorrect information.

I went to a wedding when I was 8 months pregnant. It was really tiring, I was ever so uncomfortable and it was no fun at all.

So it is permissible, I imagine they will give you a chair and i am sure there will be access to toilets plus you are already driving that way to go to the wedding. Stop making this about you OP, just rock up for your sister