Sister fallen out with me because I won’t break the new Covid rules

[User1927472940191]

Name changed because this is outing.

My sister’s wedding was planned for May this year, obviously it didn’t go ahead. They rebooked for late September, hoping that the world would be back to normal.

She has a church wedding followed by a reception in her fiancées garden booked, with a marquee. 30 guests are going. I’ve said that while I know the rules don’t make sense, I think it’s important to do the right thing and follow them. I’m going to attend the wedding, then they are throwing an additional reception next year which I will attend. But I’m not willing to go to a party in his parents’ back garden.

She is extremely upset with me, and saying her interpretation of the rules is that a reception in their private back garden is OK.

For info, I’m also 8 months pregnant, there isn’t going to be any catering at the reception (due to Covid regulations), no chairs in the marquee, and no access to toilets. It’s 4 hours drive from where I live.

I really hope I’m doing the right thing. What do others think?

Her wedding party isn't legal if it's not being held in a risk-assessed venue.

yanbu

I think your sister may have posted an AIBU last week about going ahead with the wedding reception

Covid aside, it’s reasonable to not want to spend much time 4 hours from home when you’re 8 months pregnant.

If there’s no food, drinks or seats, I don’t think many of the guests will be sticking around for very long... so you could just show a face for 10 mins and then say you have to get back for your 4 hour drive home...

Why do weddings cause so much trouble?

Purely due to your advanced pregnancy, let alone the virus, you should not go- the wedding maybe..just.. but not the party.

What happens if the police are called? It’s not exactly the wedding memories that she’d want I’m sure.

I would fit my sisters. Although I would be saying WTF to the toilet situation

I wonder how she thinks people will manage with a toilet and no food. I presume drink will be served and I suppose people could bring food for their own consumption. The toilet business would bother me the most; people will be going behind the shed and the trees.

The important thing is you are going to be at the wedding. I feel sure, if asked, the parents would allow you to use their toilet as you are family, pregnant and face a four hour journey. In your place I might go to the reception, hear the speeches, smile etc and keep my distance from others, then slip off home.

Hope you keep well in your pregnancy, op. Don't be too stressed about this, please.

Nevermind CV19 regulations but just for no food, no chairs, no toilets and a 4 hours drive YANBU!

'I thought weddings were exempt from the rule of 6?'

Weddings themselves are. Parties are not, even if to celebrate the wedding.

How on earth at 8 months pregnant are you being expected to stand for hours and have no loo access FFS! I am not pregnant but would be unable to manage either of these comfortably!

I am ging to a reception myself, so have checked the rules.
Weddings are an exemption, to a max of 30. Although the Gov website state that receptions 'should' not take place in a private house or garden, the same page also defines the word 'should', as advice only and not a requirement. The reason being that receptions should adhere to social distancing rules, which they believe are more likely in a restaurant, etc.
If the garden is big enough to adhere to the social distancing rules, then this would be within the rules.
It should however, be a 'sit down' kind of reception, without dancing, and with social distancing rules being observed, etc

To clarify my former post.
The venue should be a covid secure environment, and the 30 max rule, does not include any venue catering staff.
It is supposed to be a sit down meal, and if observing cake cutting, then you should still observe the SD rules.
Yes, the website includes such things as dancing and cake cutting, etc

No chairs or food. So just sort of milling around a back garden heavily pregnant. And no access to toilet. I go a lot and I'm 5 months pregnant so I couldn't and wouldn't attend based on that and also due to covid19. Tell your sister sorry. And just try to support her on the big day for the ceremony.

Like a PP said above, everyone could get fined. Ridiculous really. Not that comment but that people are prepared to meet in a large gathering and not give a hoot about social distancing.
So fed up of it.

This is the most miserable wedding reception ever! You definitely won't be the only person who decides not to go. Will they stretch to one glass of water per guest?

I already think you are going above and beyond travelling at the minute at eight months pregnant. She's lost the plot. ☹️

@dottiedodah EXACTLY!!!!

I think your sister is being ridiculous. You are attending the wedding itself, and next year's reception. Why is it necessary for you to go to this party? Even apart from the Covid risk, expecting a heavily pregnant woman to attend a party with no chairs and no toilet facilities is U.

Perhaps emphasize YOUR situation to her, rather than arguing about the rules. She may be upset with you because she is feeling a bit guilty about breaking the rules - and so she should. It's this sort of thing that will get us all back into lockdown, apart from possibly making some people very ill or worse. But you can only protect yourself; and so perhaps just say that you and your bladder will not cope, and that you just can't go. Especially as you don't want to risk going into early labour (if you're 8 months pregnant now, it will be 8 1/2 months by the time of the wedding) in somebody's garden 4 hours away from home!!!

@milveycrohn thanks so much for posting, v pleased someone has read everything properly, that makes me feel loads better that it’s going ahead. I probably still won’t attend though.

Lol @dayswithaY... The refreshments provided are oxygen haha

Surely if the reception is being held in the fiancées back garden there will be a loo in the house. To have no access to one makes no sense and is hard to believe.

I wouldn't go at 8 months pregnant with no seating etc. I don't think everyone will turn up to be honest, considering the recent rise of the pandemic.

Sorry I dont believe they are having a wedding reception in a marquee with no food or drinks and no toilet facilities
This because it’s crackers.

And if she was my neighbour holding that party in a garden, I would not hesitate to report her to the police.

If there are any more than 30 then I think they risk a £10,000 fine

You can’t really serve people drinks without providing a toilet. That’s just how human bodies work...

No loo, seating or food at 8 months pregnant and a 4 hour drive? Just no, she’s a selfish cow if she thinks she can insist that you go. Her ‘interpretation’ of the rules means nothing, it is incorrect for a private residence.

@Nekoness

All your sister needs is a hunting permit. Then suddenly, it’s absolutely fucking fine to stand about with 30 people outdoors. And maybe shoot at animals.

Good point Nekoness!

Just reiterating what other posters say that that the outside reception in a private garden would still be ok in Wales - possibly Northern Ireland too - but not England or Scotland.

I would not go to the reception OP not at 8 months pregnant, no seats or loos. Actually, even without being pregnant, that doesn't sound much fun. I hope there aren't going to be any long speeches.