Sister fallen out with me because I won’t break the new Covid rules

[User1927472940191]

Name changed because this is outing.

My sister’s wedding was planned for May this year, obviously it didn’t go ahead. They rebooked for late September, hoping that the world would be back to normal.

She has a church wedding followed by a reception in her fiancées garden booked, with a marquee. 30 guests are going. I’ve said that while I know the rules don’t make sense, I think it’s important to do the right thing and follow them. I’m going to attend the wedding, then they are throwing an additional reception next year which I will attend. But I’m not willing to go to a party in his parents’ back garden.

She is extremely upset with me, and saying her interpretation of the rules is that a reception in their private back garden is OK.

For info, I’m also 8 months pregnant, there isn’t going to be any catering at the reception (due to Covid regulations), no chairs in the marquee, and no access to toilets. It’s 4 hours drive from where I live.

I really hope I’m doing the right thing. What do others think?

@Bringonspring

So it is permissible, I imagine they will give you a chair and i am sure there will be access to toilets plus you are already driving that way to go to the wedding. Stop making this about you OP, just rock up for your sister

How is it permissible?

www.gov.uk/government/publications/covid-19-guidance-for-small-marriages-and-civil-partnerships/covid-19-guidance-for-wedding-and-civil-partnership-receptions-and-celebrations

It’s very clearly NOT permissible as it’s a private home and not a Covid Secure venue.

The lack of seating and loos and food sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
People will get rollicking pissed and arguments are likely to start.
I went to a wedding where there was a very late sit down dinner but nothing to eat- or buy, not even a packet of peanuts and yet drink flowed..
People got loud and arsey- food would have kept blood sugar up.

8 months pregnant and no access to a toilet...I'd take a few peebols if i were you!

YADNBU btw

Hope the in-laws’ garden has lots of thick shrubbery dotted about. That’d come in handy.

I’m in a hard lockdown due to a second wave (since June, no end in sight, after 3 months of lockdown 1). Can I assure you all that you don’t want this. It’s awful. Far more awful than having to reorganise a family event (again), or miss a fun night out, or live with a ‘lockdown lite’ life for a while. Play by the rules now, while there’s still some freedoms in your week.

OP, perhaps your sister will realise what you were on about when her honeymoon is cancelled (for a year), or if she’s ever pregnant herself. Until then, shrug off any guilt and tune her out.

I wouldn’t be able to resist setting her an equal ‘obstacle course’ event to attend at her 8 month mark of baby-making. Some people need to feel it themselves to reach empathy.

OP, it sounds like your sister wants her wedding story to appear in the tabloids. They love this kind of stuff.

No toilets that would be me saying no for starters no drink or food, no, no chance and your 8 months er no, stay at home, with access to food drink toilets ect. Also what if baby arrived.

@Familylawsolicitor

The statutory instrument that came into force today does not allow wedding receptions to take place in private residences, see attached.

But how does that apply to a reception that is happening in a garden? Can you argue that a garden can't constitute "premises" for the purposes of the regulations?

I think your mistake was telling her that you think the rules make no sense but it's important to follow them anyway. I can understand how that could have sounded a bit off to some people.

Overall though YANBU and I think your sister is going to end up with a hefty fine to pay if she goes ahead with this.

But how does that apply to a reception that is happening in a garden? Can you argue that a garden can't constitute "premises" for the purposes of the regulations?

It's private, i.e. not a commercial site.

@Pobblebonk it does actually specify gardens are also not allowed in the government I have posted on here twice now (and another poster).

www.gov.uk/government/publications/covid-19-guidance-for-small-marriages-and-civil-partnerships/covid-19-guidance-for-wedding-and-civil-partnership-receptions-and-celebrations

This guidance supersedes previous guidance. From 15 August 2020 receptions and other celebrations for weddings and civil partnerships can take place, but only in a COVID-19 secure environment/venue. Such events should not take place in people’s private homes (or adjoining outdoor spaces like gardens), given that these will not have the same COVID-19 Secure measures in place. Capacity at a wedding or civil partnership reception or celebration (including the couple, guests and third-party suppliers, but not venue staff or third-party catering staff) should be no more than 30 and safely accommodated with social distancing in a COVID-19 secure venue. We will re-assess guidance in relation to larger wedding receptions in line with the development of the scientific advice.

Your sister is being a selfish arse.
8 months pregnant and no loo!!
Of course you shouldnt go.

There has to be a reasonable chance the police will rock up at some point.
Can no one talk any sense into her?

"For info, I’m also 8 months pregnant, there isn’t going to be any catering at the reception (due to Covid regulations), no chairs in the marquee, and no access to toilets. It’s 4 hours drive from where I live."

No way would I be going!

I wouldn't be going but for other reasons too - will social distancing actually be enforced? Where I am (not UK) pregnant women and their are advised to stay at home from 36 weeks so that the woman is at less risk of having covid during the delivery. Also, if your partner catches anything with symptoms like covid, will he still be allowed to come to the hospital with you when you are on labour?

And their partners, that should read!

ponblebonk it applies to a garden very clearly and exactly as people have quoted it
Such events should not take place in people’s private homes (or adjoining outdoor spaces like gardens),
But madness to think an 8m pregnant woman can stand for 4 hours without a toilet anyway. Can’t your mum gently put this to her?

On the other hand. A sister is for life and covid is just a temporary thing.

What are the guests going to do at this reception - no food, and no toilets (so not much drinking surely). Are they just going to stand (they can't even sit) around and make small talk?

Seriously, even without being 8 months pregnant I wouldn't attend. Your sister is being ridiculous if she can't see why you don't want to go.

@NameChange84

The guidance also states;
‘Should’ Where the guidance states that an activity should take place this is not a legal requirement, however it is strongly advised that consideration is given to following the advice being given to reduce the risk of transmission of COVID-19.

So technically a reception can take place, as long as you are confident that the venue is a covid secure place, with SD rules being adhered to, according to the guidelines.

I hope there isn't a wedding gift list. People will need to save their money for the fine. Maybe they could pass a collection plate round for the fines and make it part of the event?

Sounds like the shittest wedding ever

I can't get past the fact that someone is hosting a party without toilet facilities. YANBU

@Nekoness

All your sister needs is a hunting permit. Then suddenly, it’s absolutely fucking fine to stand about with 30 people outdoors. And maybe shoot at animals.

You do realise the full list was far more than hunting? Or are you one of those who goes full froth at headlines only?