Sister fallen out with me because I won’t break the new Covid rules

[User1927472940191]

Name changed because this is outing.

My sister’s wedding was planned for May this year, obviously it didn’t go ahead. They rebooked for late September, hoping that the world would be back to normal.

She has a church wedding followed by a reception in her fiancées garden booked, with a marquee. 30 guests are going. I’ve said that while I know the rules don’t make sense, I think it’s important to do the right thing and follow them. I’m going to attend the wedding, then they are throwing an additional reception next year which I will attend. But I’m not willing to go to a party in his parents’ back garden.

She is extremely upset with me, and saying her interpretation of the rules is that a reception in their private back garden is OK.

For info, I’m also 8 months pregnant, there isn’t going to be any catering at the reception (due to Covid regulations), no chairs in the marquee, and no access to toilets. It’s 4 hours drive from where I live.

I really hope I’m doing the right thing. What do others think?

If my neighbours had a party of 30 in their garden I would report them. If it was only one or two over the allowed 6 then I would turn a blind eye but not 30!

no its more to do with the toilet situation though-any reason why theyre doing it this way

It's perfectly fine for you to go but being pregnant and not having access to a toilet is the issue. Not COVID

It is illegal now, just send your sister the updated guidelines, so can invite six people into her garden afterwards.

On balance it seems that attending the ceremony is fine but the rule of six applies to any celebration of that life event.

So, you're spot on to attend the ceremony and correct that the reception/garden event is not within regulations.

What kind of hell is that reception? A 4-hour drive to a marquee in someone's garden with no catering, no chairs to sit on and no access to toilets. What will there be at the reception?

I wouldn't entertain going. Nothing hospitable about it at all.

I’d not go either, pregnant or not. It’s against the law as not in a Covid secure premises. The ceremony is the most important bit, the rest is just a party and given there will be another party next year, not sure the point of two.

No seating and no access to toilets? And she expected you to attend while 8 months pregnant? She was already being very unreasonable, even without breaking the law.

I wouldn't go, largely due to the time it would take to travel, the lack of loos, lack of food, lack of chairs. Also because the COVID rules say that it would be illegal. I would be glad of all the other reasons which I could use as reasons, though.

I think when you're pg then you really can't be expected to attend an event which is so full of discomfort for you. What does your sister expect you to do when you start feeling faint and ill for lack of food? when you wet yourself for lack of a loo? when you collapse because standing that long has taken too much toll on your body?

She is utterly unreasonable. I pity the other guests.

All your sister needs is a hunting permit. Then suddenly, it’s absolutely fucking fine to stand about with 30 people outdoors. And maybe shoot at animals.

Why don’t they hire somewhere so they can at least provide something?

How can they serve alcohol but no loo

Plus she’s not correct about the interpretation

Thanks, glad I’m generally thought of as not being unreasonable.

I’m just sad that while I think the rules make zero sense, I want to try and do the right thing given the absolutely enormous impact that Covid has had on so many people’s lives. And she’s upset with me because of that.

The reason for it being ok to be held in a commercial premise it that the contact tracing is then possible as the venues must collect and maintain the information. Same with the church venue

100% agree with your plan and your following the rules. Her reception will not be.

Sorry I dont believe they are having a wedding reception in a marquee with no food or drinks and no toilet facilities

Are you sure there will be no toilet access? I can't believe that.

Its your sisters wedding do the right thing dont be controlled by fear and the scaremongering

It’s not a wedding reception... it’s a money grab! No food, drinks or facilities, what’s the point. I can understand the marriage, but either have a proper afters for a few people or postpone it to a better time. On top of that you’re heavily pregnant ... you might stand for half an hour, about the same time before you need the loo. Madness!

The poster who said get a life needs to get some maturity.

At 8 months pregnant I wouldn't have gone to any type of reception, supposing they were holding it in a five star hotel with food and facilities, I'd still be straight home after the ceremony for feet up, pyjamas and a box of magnums. (And half hourly trips to my own toilet)
I think making the effort for the ceremony truly is what's important. I hope she realises that soon.

I take it you/your sister are in England? I think the current rules in Wales would allow for this - not sure about Scotland.

Your sister has lost leave of her senses. No way would I entertain this!

Although I am in Wales and I wouldn't be comfortable with this. especially at eight months pregnant and with a long drive! I don't think you're unreasonable at all.

@Topseyt

At 8 months pregnant it would be the lack of seating and catering at the reception that would make me not want to go, not ridiculous Covid rules.

That would have been what I would have said, and it would have been the truth.

I agree! No toilets and no seating would be the issue for me!

Surely no one will turn up to a wedding reception where there is no food or access to a toilet?!