Mum kicking DS16 out - normal??

[ThirdTimeUnlucky]

Posting here for traffic - regular poster.
My DP and his ex have a DS together. He spends 50% of the time with my DP at his home. This has been a regular thing since they split 5 yrs ago. His ex now has a 4 yr old DD with new partner. Recently DS caused some damage to the home by over-running a bath. Understandably she and partner were initially angry. She asked my DP to have DS full-time, but living on his own and working f/t, couldn't. She then sent him to live with his g/f'(and parents) and this suited DS. He was away 3 weeks. On his return he was told he can't come home. He is going to live 50% with DP as usal and 50% with grandparents.
He is a normal teenager, started college recently, no other 'trouble'.
DS has been told this is temporary but no idea of time scale and she'll still see him/ take him out.
YANBU - to think this is odd. I'd be initially angry at my own DS if he caused damage but wouldn't kick him out and surely 3 weeks is long enough to get over it?
YABU - this is normal?
Just to add, my DP has agreed for me to post this as he doesn't know what to make of the situation.

It doesn't sound like deliberate damage to me. Poor kid! I think his mother and her partner are being vile.
I wonder if it's just an excuse to get rid of him and play happy families with the little one only.
16 sounds grown up but it's so young still!

Can't see any voting options but YANBU to assume that his mother seems to be out of order in not allowing him to continue to live at home.

No it isn't normal, although my mum did similar to me and we have no contact.
It's also a bit strange as to why DS can't live with your DP, at 16 there's nothing stopping this, what on earth has working full time got to do with anything?
Sounds to me everyone is being a little unreasonable except the grandparents, that poor boy.

I don't see why dp can't have him full time, it is not like having a primary aged child?

I don’t think that what the mum has done is right but I also do not see why he cannot live with his dad full time?

Poor kid. Why can your dp not have his 16yo living with him full time?

My dd is just 16. I can't think how she'd cope if we kicked her out. Unless their is a massive backstory, your dad's mum sounds like she's been incredibly mean. It's a very odd thing to do.

How can this be normal?! I mean, will her partner kick her out if she messes something up?

Your DP should really look at getting the poor lad to stay with him full time. Or if his son would like to live with his GP as well, then make it clear it's an option and he won't get treated as an inconvenience.

Also have a chat with him and explain it's not his fault and people shouldn't react like this.

YANBU - it is odd and unfair to kick out your own child for something like that. Are you sure that the bath incident is the only reason?
Also, why can't your DP have his own son for 100% of the time? Plenty of parents work full-time. At 16 his DS should be able to look after himself for a few hours a day after college surely? Tbh that's what I found most strange about this situation - that neither parent seems prepared to have him. It seems like there is more going on?

Why can't he lvoe with your DP all the time? My DM lived alone and worked full-time whilst bringing me up

Live^

What a horrible mum. I'd bet her new partner has a lot to do with this, as well.

Of course it's not normal, but why can't he just move in with your DP full time? Fact he works full time is irrelevant surely?

Why can't he live with your DP full-time? I don't understand why your partner working full-time is at all relevant?

It is odd and unfair behaviour from DS mum but from what you've wrote I can't see why his dad can't have him full time. His dads excuse for not stepping up is rubbish which must be sending a clear message to DS that no one wants him which is really sad. Glad his grandparents have stepped in

The dad should have him full time, poor kid to feel so unwanted

Another one wondering why he can't live with your DP full time? At 16 I was allowed to stay on my own at home when my parents occasionally went away overnight. If there's no backstory and no other bad behaviour it's an ideal solution.

Well I wouldn't kick my children out at all for something like this, but why can't DP have him there full time? He's 16, it's not like he can't let himself in after school and look after himself. If he manages 50% of the time he could do it full time. Although his mother should be paying child maintenance if this happens, she might change her mind!

Neither parent are coming out if this smelling of roses. Why isn’t he living his your partner. At 16, he’s old enough.

Our children's had this in the past - being told at 16 that they could no longer afford for them to stay at home. EMA going didn't help. Having to drop an A level as had to then earn enough to pay to rent a room as well as live. One blessing is that he does have somewhere to live...

Surely your DP now needs to step up to the plate and have his son live with him full time?

She asked my DP to have DS full-time, but living on his own and working f/t, couldn't.

What? What kind of father won’t have their 16 year old child full-time “because he works”. What on earth does he think single working mothers do?!

Poor kid. His mum doesn't want him and his dad only wants to be a part time parent.

This is horrible, though unfortunately not that uncommon, a few people I went to college with were kicked out between 16-18. They mostly just ended up sofa surfing (though we called it a sleepover)

Can your DH definitely not take him full time? At that age he won't need much looking after, but will definitely benefit from a secure home base.