If a man says to you..

[Runforyourlifeitsagherkin]

When you text back and forth with a friend from work and explain you are Upset and had a bad day and his response is:

“In another life, I would be down to give you a hug and make you feel better”

You are female, single. And he is married.

What does this mean to you? In what circumstance would you expect that response?

For the sake of voting
YABU= nothing in it
YANBU= he’s after something

He’s being her knight in shining armour.

Of course he’s going to say it’s innocent. But I wouldn’t say that to anyone male or female (the ‘in another life’ bit anyway). Would have been interesting if she’d responded positively.

Your husband sounds slimy.

It means if he was single then he would be interested - he isn't so he is not.

Subtle undertones with it so can be interpreted that if you are interested I might be but I'm not directly coming onto you so therefore cannot be accused of anything....

Maybe stop texting a married colleague. His response indicates he fancies you but will not do anything about it. Are you enjoying the attention? Why are you doing it?

It means if he was single then he would be interested - he isn't so he is not.

If he really wasn't interested he wouldn't need a convoluted message to say so.

I'd be upset. He knows full well that he's overstepping the boundary. Maybe he's been bored during lockdown and is looking for some flirty entertainment.

@Iwonder08 @blagaaw99 @Showandtell1 @RattleOfBars @tootiredtospeak

OP is the wife.

In another life meaning if he wasn't married suggesting that what he wants to do is "not allowed" because he's married...he's a creep

Casting his net. Gross. Stay away

Also just seen this is a reverse, actually the first one I've read where I get why you did it

I took the other life to be a non covid life.

If he was referring to being married then I still don’t think he was after anything, he was saying that he is not after anything.

If he was referring to being married then I still don’t think he was after anything,

he was saying that he is not after anything.

If he was not after anything he would not have to say it.

Oh this is a reverse. I would be very angry about this and hurt. He would obviously sleep with this woman should she give him the green light. I don't think you can leave based on this but I would be gathering my evidence and getting ducks in a row from now on.

@Runforyourlifeitsagherkin

Thanks everyone Don’t know if this is worth throwing nearly 20 years away for. And if it’s fair on the kids to do so.

Well why not think about it like this: do you and your kids need someone untrustworthy in your lives? 20 years and this is how loyal he is? How would he feel if you sent that text to another man?

The "in another life" comment is him suggesting he'd do it if he could but he can't as he's married (damn!). If it were just an innocent hug he was thinking if he'd have no need to say this at all.

Girl, no. I agree with @Mylittlepony374 about him testing the waters.

@Mvshrln

Girl, no. I agree with *@Mylittlepony374* about him testing the waters.

Ah just seen you are his wife (teaches me to not just read the first page!) I would be upset too, there was just no need for him to send that message :(

@AranciaRosso

You can't tell people how to vote.

No one’s telling you how to vote

@TorgosPizza

flirt, not dirty!

No you got it right first time

I hope he is clumsily saying in normal times I'd give you a hug but mid covid ,
Only you can tell if it's a come on as you know him, it's impossible for strangers to tell , tone, sexual chemistry

Do you want something to happen ??

@nitsandwormsdodger

I hope he is clumsily saying in normal times I'd give you a hug but mid covid , Only you can tell if it's a come on as you know him, it's impossible for strangers to tell , tone, sexual chemistry

Do you want something to happen ??

It's her husband who sent it .....

Eh????

Obviously I didn't read whole thread
Scuttling off to go that now .... 🤬

Yep he's a sleaze
I wouldn't jump to LTB after 20 years but I'd be booking some relate sharpish

She sounds needy and tragic but some men are really turned on by bring needing and strong
Down dating is a thing which happened to my mate
Sorry this is happening to you

Down dating is a thing which happened to my mate
What do you mean

I have just seen your update. I still think the text means ''I'm going to promise you nothing but hope that you'll still be in to me too''.

I hope you go off your husband. This kind of lame behavior from a man just turns me right off now luckily. I went through years of not being turned off when men behave like they're doing you a favour.