Kids’ parties - who pays?

[Crummyfunnymummy]

My DP is organising his DD’s party (aged 9) and she wants to invite 8 other girls from her class to an activity. He has just emailed the parents inviting their DDs along and giving them details of the activity and a couple of dates to choose from and letting them know it’s £22.50 each. I saw the email (after it was sent) and said “you’re not asking parents to pay, are you?!” And he said yes he was. Was that not OK? Otherwise it’ll cost him £200 or thereabouts, plus food! I said yes, this is what a party costs! I’ve paid double that before when we were doing whole class parties (thankfully no more!). He’s not at all mean, I just think he doesn’t have much experience of organising his DD’s birthday parties before now. So my question is more IHBU (Is He Being Unreasonable)?
Yes - you can’t expect parents to pay for their child’s activity
No - it’s fine to ask parents to pay

Sorry I should be more clear
YABU - parents shouldn’t be asked to pay
YANBU - it’s fine to ask them to pay

No just no. You dont ask parents to pay for their own child to attend a party.

Of course he is being unreasonable!

Mortified for him 🤣🤣

Nonhe shouldn't ask for people to pay for a birthday party for his dd. I've never heard of that before

Nope, parents shouldn’t pay to attend a birthday party.

I will be surprised if anyone comes tbh.

The party organisers pay not the guest.
Your vote is confusing

If he wants them to come he pays for them

No he can't charge. He should email back and say he just wants commitment to come as it's an activity

Clicked wrong one - no parents shouldn't be asked to pay.

Thank you wise people. This is exactly as I thought. But then I started to doubt myself!

I wouldn’t expect to pay for a child to attend a birthday party. I think it would annoy me to be asked because chances are his DD has gone to parties where other parents have footed the bill.

Yep, if he's organising the event and choosing things he needs to pay!

Sorry if my poll was confusing!! I haven’t set one up before!

I hope he's recalled the email

How does he not realise how this works? Did he genuinely show no interest in the parties organised for her previously?? I'm honestly baffeld anyone with a 9 year old doesn't know how parties work.

I’m going to suggest he sends an update saying “sorry if I was unclear, I wasn’t asking you to pay!”

He pays as the host of the party. They are minors lol and have no access to their own cash.
Hopefully he realises the error and quickly rectifies it as chances are no-one will arrive.

Does he know yet that not all parents bother to reply and will just show up? Or about the cheeky fuckers who want to palm off siblings, neighbours kids and cousins along?

Ah yes the sibling debate..... one of my peeves!

Of course he should be paying otherwise he's just organising a group activity rather than a Birthday Party. I'm embarrassed for him

Good gried no, you don't expect someone to pay to attend a party.

@Crummyfunnymummy

I’m going to suggest he sends an update saying “sorry if I was unclear, I wasn’t asking you to pay!”

Very good, get him to add something about he needs to know because of the cost.

@Crummyfunnymummy

I’m going to suggest he sends an update saying “sorry if I was unclear, I wasn’t asking you to pay!”

“sorry if I was unclear, I wasn’t asking you to pay!”

.................I just wanted you all to know how much I'm spending

He should send a retraction email straight away. Short, simple and suitably apologetic. Such as:

Dear...

Please ignore my earlier email in regards to (childs name) party. I'm afraid I copy/pasted some info sent to me by the venue, including pricing information - but I certainly had not meant to suggest that party-goers should be contributing . I am, of course, covering all costs of the party and hope that (childs name) friends will join him to make it a special day! Party details are as follows:

X date - (dont give people options FGS, you cant please everyone so don't even try)
X time to Y time
Parents to stay or leave?

We so look forward to seeing you there. Kindly RSVP by (date).

I think he should just send a quick email saying - oops, that’s wasn’t very clear! Meant to say it’s going to cost £22.50 for each child (which of course I will be paying!) so please let me know if your daughter can’t make it