Kids’ parties - who pays?

[Crummyfunnymummy]

My DP is organising his DD’s party (aged 9) and she wants to invite 8 other girls from her class to an activity. He has just emailed the parents inviting their DDs along and giving them details of the activity and a couple of dates to choose from and letting them know it’s £22.50 each. I saw the email (after it was sent) and said “you’re not asking parents to pay, are you?!” And he said yes he was. Was that not OK? Otherwise it’ll cost him £200 or thereabouts, plus food! I said yes, this is what a party costs! I’ve paid double that before when we were doing whole class parties (thankfully no more!). He’s not at all mean, I just think he doesn’t have much experience of organising his DD’s birthday parties before now. So my question is more IHBU (Is He Being Unreasonable)?
Yes - you can’t expect parents to pay for their child’s activity
No - it’s fine to ask parents to pay

I might have clicked the wrong one.

To be clear - he's unreasonable to ask parents to pay. He's hosting!!

Frankly though, if the DC wanted to go I'd pay, happily.

If he's now prepared to pay, I'd laugh at an email that said 'oops- I'm new at this birthday party organising - can you tell?! Obviously we'd like you Son/daughter to come as our guest!'

.................I just wanted you all to know how much I'm spending grin

Brilliant!!!!

Of course you don't ask parents to pay. How embarrassing for him. Parties are expensive and often cost 200+ but you just pay it if you want your dc to have a party. I recently took ds and one friend out to an activity for my son's birthday. The trip cost me in excess of £180 but I wouldn't dream of asking the invitee. You invite, you pay.

Well he's made a right balls up of that! Not only the expection they'd pay but the selection of dates 🙄. Yes he should as pp stated send out another one with - X date, but as it's 22.50pp I'd like definate confirmation of attending, as unfortunately only children booked in will be able to attend.

Yes, he being totally unreasonable.

Yes, I did also advise the rooky error of offering dates would bite him on the arse!

Eeek, he needs to fix this asap!

To be fair to him I think they used to do smaller parties and invite a few friends over for games and food in their lovely garden. I don’t think there was a cost or much organising to do. And yes, he is new to this! Have pity on him

Omg tell him to recall the message!!!

No, unless it was a VERY close friend of my child and I knew they couldn't afford to pay for them, I would think it cheeky! My kids have cost me a fortune over the years on parties!

He chooses the date and he pays!! Has he never seen a party invitation before?

Like yourself and others have said, he can’t charge guests to attend a birthday party for a kid. Well he can but it’s a bad idea. Really bad.

If he really can’t afford it (fair enough I would struggle too) then he should have told his daughter to choose something else or invite less children.

He should email and say there was an error of course he should pay it's his child. What is wrong with him.

He needs to do what @FatBottomedGurl suggested

Nope you don't ask parents to pay. It's probably like you say your partner doesn't have much experience of doing parties. I'm a mum who doesn't. Neither of mine have had a proper party yet. Covid cancelled their first plans birthday parties.

unimaginativeusernamehere

It would seem not!

£200 for a party isn't even excessive. He's tight. If he can't afford it his child cannot have a party sadly.

He’s coming home any minute.... shall I show him the responses?!

He should also ask if any of the children have allergies if the parents aren't staying at the venue, and food is included.

Maybe a diagram would help....

@Crummyfunnymummy

He’s coming home any minute.... shall I show him the responses?!

Yes

And he’s not tight generally at all. I think he just hadn’t organised a party before (lucky bastard. I’ve done loads. They’re hideous! Including making the mistake of providing Cava for the parents one year whereupon a load of parents got wankered! Won’t be making that mistake again!!)

@MomToTwoBabas

£200 for a party isn't even excessive. He's tight. If he can't afford it his child cannot have a party sadly.

Perhaps his "tightness" is due to limited funds.

You don't have to have experience of arranging parties, to know that you don't charge guests to attend! Otherwise everyone would try and charge their guests the first time they threw one

Brilliant! Is he planning to ask them all to bring a packed lunch too?