Kids’ parties - who pays?

[Crummyfunnymummy]

My DP is organising his DD’s party (aged 9) and she wants to invite 8 other girls from her class to an activity. He has just emailed the parents inviting their DDs along and giving them details of the activity and a couple of dates to choose from and letting them know it’s £22.50 each. I saw the email (after it was sent) and said “you’re not asking parents to pay, are you?!” And he said yes he was. Was that not OK? Otherwise it’ll cost him £200 or thereabouts, plus food! I said yes, this is what a party costs! I’ve paid double that before when we were doing whole class parties (thankfully no more!). He’s not at all mean, I just think he doesn’t have much experience of organising his DD’s birthday parties before now. So my question is more IHBU (Is He Being Unreasonable)?
Yes - you can’t expect parents to pay for their child’s activity
No - it’s fine to ask parents to pay

Oh God, how embarrassing. If you can't afford to host, don't host.

Hang on OP, you aren't being fair to us. We were originally , but when you says he'd 'dug his heels in', we were:

Just sad the new rules will be pretty much trashing children’s parties anyway 🙁

"but that'll be £200 + food and party bags" Yeah tell me about it! That's why we had a sleep over in March as it's cheap as chips.

Anyway, it's all sorted out now, hope DD has a lovely time.

We have done parties/activities for our kids birthdays, and never charged any of the parents any money. This included parties at soft play (worst nightmare, glad those days are over), parties held at home (equally hellish unless it's a small invited group of fairly well behaved kids) and activities such as bowling and trampolining and food out. Usually if your child is invited to such a birthday party/activity, you would usually take along a card and gift anyway, but it's really off to ask other parents to help to pay for the event. It would be like inviting your child's friend over for tea and then billing the parents for their sausage, beans and chips, and for the use of your child's toys, and for the time spent tidying up afterwards. It's just cringey and embarrassing.
I'd just say you are busy that day, and do something else with your child. Offer to send over a card and a small gift anyway, at least I would, just to make the point, but obviously you don't really need to do that.

Ah right all sorted. ...Although does sound like a bit of a balls up, and charging for party bags? Tell him to just keep a biscuit tin full of Christmas cracker shite and chuck in a balloon and some cake next time. You can get plain paper bags dirt cheap, probably like 2p each in a pack online, and you can decorate/personalise with markers. Job done.

Hosts pay and if ds had a sibling they would not be going if not invited

As a host I would never ask people to pay. However I also wouldn't have a problem paying if I was asked to. It really depends on people's financial situations, and how close they are to the person whose party it is.

@Pebblexox

As a host I would never ask people to pay. However I also wouldn't have a problem paying if I was asked to. It really depends on people's financial situations, and how close they are to the person whose party it is.

Well, yes, I wouldn't actually refuse to pay either, but that's not really the point. I'd never forget the gobshite that thought it was an acceptable way to host a party. Then again, the host would be getting a free party, so presumably wouldn't give a toss what the guests thought about him 🤷🏻‍♀️

Dear Parents,
Please ignore previous email . Parents will not be required to pay £22.50 per child , we will be rooting the bill, but please confirm attendance asap as we need to know numbers to give to the venue and only children who confirm can attend as they'll only charge us for that amount.
Thanks very much look forward to seeing you all there.
Kind Regards
Husband