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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Unfair treatment of my daughter by class teacher

581 replies

Mummy20192 · 08/09/2020 00:29

Need some opinion please... my 9 yr old dd was very excited since summer holidays to return to school and to be able to run for the class eco monitor.. she did research on oceans, pollution over the lockdown all ready for election of the year. Anyways she won the ecomonitor role in class by democratic vote of her peers. She was super proud and excited.

Today she goes into school, and her teacher tells her that a senior member of staff has said that she has to share her role with the eco monitor of PST year as that child is very passionate about the environment.

My port dd is sad and embarrassed as she thinks her teachers think that she’s not good enough to be eco monitor even though her classmates voted for her.

I explained to her that’s it’s ok to share the role, but now I’m thinking that it’s completely unfair on the part of the teachers to put my child in this situation when no other children in the school is having to jobshare apart from my dd. Am i overreacting?

OP posts:
AIBU22 · 08/09/2020 00:33

Yes YABU, and a bit precious about your child.

Chouxalacreme · 08/09/2020 00:34

Oh dear
Really ? Come on.
Yabu

ilovesooty · 08/09/2020 00:35

"Am I overreacting?"

Yes. It will be a valuable opportunity for her to learn to collaborate.

seayork2020 · 08/09/2020 00:36

For me personally you are overreacting but I know there will be other posters who think you should go down to the school and have it out with the teacher.

She can work with this child and they can both do different parts maybe?

BertNErnie · 08/09/2020 00:37

I think yes you are overreacting. If we had two candidates apply for a role in my school and really couldn't choose one, we would offer a job share so to speak. It would be the fairest way of ensuring both children who are equally passionate and equally right for the role get a chance to be part of the team and make a positive contribution.

Would you prefer the other child get the role and your child didn't despite being equally passionate? Or vice versa?

If you have concerns I would drop them teacher an email but honestly, I wouldn't expect them to revoke half the role from the other child so I'm not sure you will get the reply you are asking for.

imissthesouth · 08/09/2020 00:39

Yes you're overreacting, she needs to learn life isn't all roses and fairy's anyways. If you're really annoyed by it complain to the teacher? It is a tiny unreasonable of them.

Original poster
Mummy20192 · 08/09/2020 00:39

What about winning a role fair and square and then someone else who didn’t even try for the role being handed the role on a platter because the teacher has a favourite? What are we teaching our children about democratic vote? If collaboration was needed, no need for peer vote... how is that fair?

OP posts:
MomToTwoBabas · 08/09/2020 00:39

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ElizabethMainwaring · 08/09/2020 00:39

There is a reason why the other child is being involved. (To cheer them up; boost their confidence; award them for something etc)
Schools work in mysterious ways.
It's nothing to do with your daughter.
Don't sweat the small stuff.

BertNErnie · 08/09/2020 00:40

if I was on the receiving end of your email, I'd reply with a polite message explaining how the decision was made and asking if you preferred your daughter give up the role if she was unhappy. I wouldn't change my decision.

ElizabethMainwaring · 08/09/2020 00:41

Please do not contact the school.

BertNErnie · 08/09/2020 00:43

Well now there's your real issue - believing the teacher has a favourite and that's why your daughter want given the role.

Again, I'd ask the teacher for their reasons if it's really bothering you but you won't get a reply stating yes they have a favourite so again in not sure what you think will happen going forward. I would also be mindful of taking what you daughter has said as gospel and going in with an open mind (if you do take this forward) as sometimes what a child heard and what an adult has actually said can be different.

BananaPop2020 · 08/09/2020 00:43

The “election of the year” - really?

ChanceChanceChance · 08/09/2020 00:45

@Mummy20192

What about winning a role fair and square and then someone else who didn’t even try for the role being handed the role on a platter because the teacher has a favourite? What are we teaching our children about democratic vote? If collaboration was needed, no need for peer vote... how is that fair?
I think you need to take a big deep breath and calm down. your daughter is only nine, it was an achievement to win a vote, she now has a potential friend to work with, they can get more done together.

You're a bit too cross over something very small.

Original poster
Mummy20192 · 08/09/2020 00:46

I wouldn’t have a problem if the teacher chose two children to share the role.. that would have been great.. two heads better than one.. but the problem is, when the teacher says we are going to vote to choose our next eco monitor.. then 3-5 children prepare and present a speech, class votes and declares the children who have all been selected for their roles through peer votes and then after one day teacher says oh wait... another member of staff thinks that another child in the class would do a better job.. so let’s job share... shouldn’t the job share be decided before 29 children voted on who they want as their class ecomonitor? So next time we get a pm by election and the queen thinks someone is passionate, should the pm have job share Because life isn’t fair?

OP posts:
MummytoCSJH · 08/09/2020 00:46

I am obviously going against the grain here and I agree with you OP that it is unfair and I'd be upset BUT as others say it's a teaching moment for you and your child and please do not contact the school/teacher. Sometimes life isn't fair. I know it's shit. Your daughter sounds like she's worked hard and deserves it, but it's as simple as sometimes things don't work out fairly. Hopefully she continues to try her hardest and I'm sure she will be praised/rewarded for it and if she is passionate, enjoy it as well.

imissthesouth · 08/09/2020 00:48

Contact the school if you're that unhappy. That's what they have emails and phones for. I don't see what you'd get out of it though.

BertNErnie · 08/09/2020 00:49

"So next time we get a pm by election and the queen thinks someone is passionate, should the pm have job share Because life isn’t fair?l"

Good lord. It's a year 5 class vote, not a general election.

ElizabethMainwaring · 08/09/2020 00:50

I also doubt that SLT were involved.
That's a little white lie to pass the buck.
Like I said in a pp, there is a reason why the other child is involved.
Honestly op, just forget about it.
The teacher is doing his / her best to keep 30+ kids happy in very difficult circumstances.

Drok · 08/09/2020 00:53

Girls tend to grow up far too anxious for approval from authority figures. It's a real weakness. If your daughter is passionate about the environment, she is still in a position to make positive changes.

katie43210 · 08/09/2020 00:55

Comparing this to a general election is brilliant 😂

Anonincase · 08/09/2020 00:56

This is a teachable moment and I suspect perhaps the other child would benefit from this role. I'd teach my child to respond with grace and to see the positives, including learning about collaboration, working together and to not need to always know the how/why but to do her best.

Yankathebear · 08/09/2020 00:59

I think it’s great that they have two and very kind of the teachers to choose someone as well as letting the children vote.

Tavannach · 08/09/2020 00:59

But the teacher hasn't said the other child will do a better job? They think the other child will do as good a job as your DD. Surely they will complement one another. A good chance for your DD to learn how to collaborate - a much more valuable life skill than being a star.

TinkersTailor · 08/09/2020 00:59

Comparing the eco monitor (what does that role entail?) with the GE is absolutely ridiculous. It's a primary school extra-curricular.

YABVU.
There will very likely be a reason why the teacher has chosen another child to do the role too.
Too shy to run, unable to prepare due to bad family circumstances/lack of internet access, not very confident/articulate, deserves a role, needs a bit of a boost, maybe an incentive if they dislike school.. that's barely scratching the surface.
Not because your child isn't good enough.

Please don't bother the school with this. They have plenty on their plates to be dealing with (like actually teaching children) without you moaning because your daughter has to share. It's a good learning opportunity.