Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Unfair treatment of my daughter by class teacher

581 replies

Mummy20192 · 08/09/2020 00:29

Need some opinion please... my 9 yr old dd was very excited since summer holidays to return to school and to be able to run for the class eco monitor.. she did research on oceans, pollution over the lockdown all ready for election of the year. Anyways she won the ecomonitor role in class by democratic vote of her peers. She was super proud and excited.

Today she goes into school, and her teacher tells her that a senior member of staff has said that she has to share her role with the eco monitor of PST year as that child is very passionate about the environment.

My port dd is sad and embarrassed as she thinks her teachers think that she’s not good enough to be eco monitor even though her classmates voted for her.

I explained to her that’s it’s ok to share the role, but now I’m thinking that it’s completely unfair on the part of the teachers to put my child in this situation when no other children in the school is having to jobshare apart from my dd. Am i overreacting?

OP posts:
Italiangreyhound · 08/09/2020 01:00

Of course you are not being unreasonable and of course it matters.

I'd be very cross too.

However, your daughter clearly knows her stuff so this is her chance to encourage this other child. She can share her useful knowledge and together they may really make an impact.

If the other child is no really interested and doesn't get involved it will be clear your dd is the driving force, and if the other kid gets on board your dd will have achieved a lot. I;d work on this aspect of it, personally.

But it's not fair and it is pretty sad that people on here cannot see why fairness would be a good and important thing for a school to model.

DeliciouslyFemale · 08/09/2020 01:00

@MomToTwoBabas

Omg of course you are overreacting. Massively. I don't like to say it as it's a lovely name but you are being..... a Karen.
Oh bore off with that misogynistic and ageist ‘Karen’ crap. Just because someone thinks differently to you, that’s your go to phrase? How original.

OP, I think you know you’re being overly sensitive about it, but I can understand that you don’t like to think of your child feeling upset and that’s understandable. It definitely sounds like favouritism, but there isn’t anything you can do about it. Your best trying to encourage your daughter to see it as a positive thing, as they’ll be able to support each other. Don’t let her see that you’re upset, as that wouldn’t be fair to her.

ElizabethMainwaring · 08/09/2020 01:00

@katie43210

Comparing this to a general election is brilliant 😂
Actually, this is the point of excercises like this - School Council etc. It is to introduce children to democracy. It's part of the British Values initiative. However, it's the teacher's job to do the best for his / her class. Give them a bit of respect and calm down.
Palavah · 08/09/2020 01:03

Anyways she won the ecomonitor role in class by democratic vote of her peers

Can you get the UN supervisors to comment?

slipperywhensparticus · 08/09/2020 01:07

If I was your nine year old I would feel mortified and probably step aside never bothering to get involved in shtick like this again because it sounds like a right confidence knock

However your language is rather dramatic

Justajot · 08/09/2020 01:11

I think I'd probably have a conversation with the teacher about it. Not because I'd expect the decision to be reversed, but because I think the teacher could explain the situation better to your DD. It isn't a bad thing to occasionally address things like this, so that your DD feels heard.

And I say this as someone who has thanked a teacher for not giving my DD a role she wanted as it was a great lesson for my DD.

BowStreetStunner · 08/09/2020 01:11

I can not be sure of the teachers motivation I am a teacher my self but at the other end teaching year ten and elevens GCSE, if this other child is very passionate about the environment then I can see why the teacher would have encouraged it as when a child is passionate about anything as teachers, well as good teachers we would always encourage it it may be that your daughter’s teacher didn’t think there would be an issue, and maybe just did not think it through. Or It could be although the fact that you said your daughter did lots of research over the holidays and lockdown for the role and she seems very motivated and obviously cares about her schooling and needs little support as she was able to do the research independently that the teacher thought maybe it would be too much for her on her own as some children would need help with a task like this and they may feel that another student helping her would be better than stopping her from taking the role like I said it doesn’t seem that this would be the case with your daughter, the best thing to do would really to avoid all the guessing speak to the teacher and simply ask her why and explain to her how your daughter feels any teacher worth their paycheque would do what they need to to make your daughter Feel happier about the situation.

RubyFakeLips · 08/09/2020 01:12

YABU.

You have no real idea why the other child was chosen. For all you know, your DD could have won based on a popularity contest, being pushy, being pretty, who knows. It may be that another child is extremely unpopular for some unfortunate reason and would never have won the vote.

There was a thread on here recently about a teacher rigging a school vote to prioritise who would be better at the job not who was the most extrovert self-assured pupil.

This is not the GE and the comparison is ludicrous. Use it to teach your DD that maybe the best candidates aren’t always the ones standing, don’t always trust the people who put themselves forward etc.

Also she would probably be fine about it if you reassured her, if you make t a big thing she will feed into that.

ddl1 · 08/09/2020 01:14

The teacher should probably have warned her earlier; but I don't think it's unfair in itself. It's a good thing for her to learn how to collaborate with others on such issues; she will have to if she wants to help to make positive changes in the world when she is older.

BowStreetStunner · 08/09/2020 01:15

Excuse awful grammar it’s late lol 😳😳

Original poster
Mummy20192 · 08/09/2020 01:18

I have told my daughter to collaborate.. and work as a team.. which she will.. and no i haven’t emailed the teacher. I am upset, but obviously not enough, as I’m in here instead of writing to school.

However, this is a big deal to a 9 yr old in their young lives especially, when they work hard and have the courage to stand infront of class after 6 months of lockdown and give speech. I appreciate that the teacher knows what the other child needs, and that should have taken into consideration before giving out the results of the vote... not come in next day and say.. infront of the whole class... we’ll we are going to disregard the votes because someone is passionate... act then you wonder why young ppl aren’t keen on voting in this country. What a great message to teach about democracy!

OP posts:
ddl1 · 08/09/2020 01:21

'So next time we get a pm by election and the queen thinks someone is passionate, should the pm have job share'

Just to note that in many democracies, with more proportional voting systems than ours, it is absolutely the norm for the PM to have to 'job share' in a coalition. Even here, it's happened occasionally. And even without that, the PM does not work totally on their own, but with a Cabinet. So even according to that analogy, collaboration is a good preparation for the real world.

And on a more everyday level than being PM, 'teamwork' is one of the things that is strongly valued in most jobs.

In any case, being a class monitor, excellent as it is, is hardly the same as PM!

Original poster
Mummy20192 · 08/09/2020 01:22

Sorry lots of typos in there!!

OP posts:
ElizabethMainwaring · 08/09/2020 01:22

@BowStreetStunner

Excuse awful grammar it’s late lol 😳😳
Blimey @BowStreetStunner! Your first (very long) post was only two sentences!Shock
Original poster
Mummy20192 · 08/09/2020 01:27

Coalition govt is due to votes of the ppl, cabinet is formed by government... I don’t have a problem with team work.. I have a problem with disregarding a vote... they could have easily said that all of last years school councillors/ monitors will job share with this years... it would have been perfect. But not just declare after the weekend oh no sorry class you voted for the wrong person...

OP posts:
ElizabethMainwaring · 08/09/2020 01:29

I ran the School Council at a primary school for ten years.
I always rigged it one way or another.Shock
It was a very ahem 'challenging' school.
It was impossible to run it successfully unless you had articulate, consientious, engaged kids involved.

jessstan2 · 08/09/2020 01:48

WTF is an eco monitor and what does she have to do, spy on people, count their plastic? Meh. A job for goody two shoes.

It sounds like a big fuss about nothing.

jessstan2 · 08/09/2020 01:51

ElizabethMainwaring Tue 08-Sep-20 01:22:52
BowStreetStunner

Excuse awful grammar it’s late lol 😳😳

Blimey @BowStreetStunner!
Your first (very long) post was only two sentences!shock
...........
:-) Yes but we could have done without the elipses.

ElizabethMainwaring · 08/09/2020 01:53

@jessstan2
Eh?

MinnieMousse · 08/09/2020 01:57

Perhaps the other child was upset that they didn't get to do the job for the full year because of lockdown.
Maybe a compromise could be suggested that they share the job for half the year then she does it herself as the other child also had the chance to be the only monitor for half of the previous year.

BoomBoomsCousin · 08/09/2020 02:00

YANBU to be upset or to think it’s poorly done and unfair. I think class votes for these kinds of things are a really bad idea at that kind of age, but if they are going to do them then they should do them as they said. Changing the rules on someone after they’ve put in the work is very unfair and (rightly) likely to have a detrimental impact on your daughter’s experience of school and her trust in the teaching staff. If staff want to be able to appoint other students to roles (which I think is by far the better way to handle this) they should make it clear that’s what they are doing. What has happened here is bound to be a disappointment to your daughter and also to all those other children who prepared and presented something to try and win the position.

I think you’ve handled it with your daughter well, though I would encourage her to tell the teacher, possibly at the end of her term as eco-monitor, that she feels the teacher was unjust and treated her poorly over this.

Original poster
Mummy20192 · 08/09/2020 02:06

The child who was chosen wasn’t even bothered about this role, as she was chosen by the teacher to be Library monitor on Friday.. what does this show my child on her 3rd day into school? It doesn’t matter if you work hard, it doesn’t matter if your classmates choose you... it’s all about who the teacher thinks is the best. There was no need for the voting Nonsense..

OP posts:
jessstan2 · 08/09/2020 02:09

[quote ElizabethMainwaring]@jessstan2
Eh?[/quote]
Oh no, my bad. I was thinking of the op's opening post.

Bowstreetrunner has obviously never thought 'less is more'. She's a teacher too!

Boomclaps · 08/09/2020 02:11

@Mummy20192
The problem with school votes is, they’re actually a popularity contest nothing more

user127819 · 08/09/2020 02:12

I agree with a previous poster that there will be a reason the other child has been chosen and it's probably not just that she's passionate. Try to think of the benefit to that child, who may be very shy, having family or home problems, have SEN etc.

With the best will in the world, this is primary school. It an "eco monitor" role. It will all be forgotten in a few years.

If you like you could tell her it's like the House of Commons and House of Lords. Some people are elected and others are just nominated by those in power. Smile