Unfair treatment of my daughter by class teacher

[Mummy20192]

Need some opinion please... my 9 yr old dd was very excited since summer holidays to return to school and to be able to run for the class eco monitor.. she did research on oceans, pollution over the lockdown all ready for election of the year. Anyways she won the ecomonitor role in class by democratic vote of her peers. She was super proud and excited.

Today she goes into school, and her teacher tells her that a senior member of staff has said that she has to share her role with the eco monitor of PST year as that child is very passionate about the environment.

My port dd is sad and embarrassed as she thinks her teachers think that she’s not good enough to be eco monitor even though her classmates voted for her.

I explained to her that’s it’s ok to share the role, but now I’m thinking that it’s completely unfair on the part of the teachers to put my child in this situation when no other children in the school is having to jobshare apart from my dd. Am i overreacting?

But why isn't it fair? The OP's DD was elected. The kids who are hard done by are the ones that prepared a presentation and then weren't voted in. Then another girl was parachuted in who hadn't even prepared a presentation. If they wanted a second person, surely it should really have been one of the others who stood.

If we don't want a popularity contest, then why have an election at all.

And if it was because of Covid, then why weren't the OP's DD who had to share her role with another child?

I think some of you are determined to make the OP unreasonable just because the OP must always be unreasonable on an AIBU post.

YANBU in some ways. Abd I think you should approach the teacher- not with the aim of having things overturned but to let the teacher know that what they’ve done, probably with good intentions, has led to a child being upset and feeling that the teacher has thought she isn’t good enough for the role.

I can see why a child might be upset by this. It’s not that she has to share, it’s the way it has been handled that is the problem. And the fact that the child has been made to feel that she is not good enough (even if that is not the intention or implication the teacher wanted/felt they had conveyed) is also a problem that a teacher would want to know about, isn’t it? For those who are teachers, wouldn’t you WANT a parent to tell you that the situation/ what you had done or said has caused one if your pupils to feel you thought they weren’t good enough? If nothing else, surely a good teacher would want to make sure that thought wasn’t allowed to fester. Even if you think the child is over-reacting or has picked up the wrong end of the stick, surely it would be better hell the teacher was aware?

The process wasn’t very well done, I don’t think. Why was there no mention of sharing to start with? Why decide the roles were to be allocated based on voting if that was not how they wanted it to be?

I can see how a 9 year old may view being told “well, yes you won the vote but because x is interested you must share” could be construed as “ you aren’t good enough” (even if though it is likely that is not the issue) and could be upsetting. Especially if nobody else has had to share roles.

@Mummy20192 - I am very happy to read your update post of 22.16 on 9th September.

How well you handled it and how proud your must be of your mature 9 year old daughter.

And yes, an important point about striking a balance between sharing / people pleasing and being a door mat.

When your daughter is older and you want to talk to her about online perils and cyber bullying, you could always start by showing her this thread

@CanICelebrate

And I think you were unreasonable to email the teacher. I also don’t think the solution is fair and I think you’re pleased with the outcome because you feel you’ve won!

Well, why shouldn't OP be pleased with the outcome? A number of children were elected to posts they had stood for. Only one child, hers, and to put up with another child who hadn't even stood for election being parachuted in. Her child was understandably upset at the implication she wasn't thought to be up for the job. OP has cleared up that misunderstanding and achieved a sensible compromise.

It seems to me a solution that is eminently fair and one that would not have been achieved if OP hadn't communicated with the teacher.

I totally agree with all your points OP. I would be reaching out to the school. Hard now to know what they can do. I would be annoyed!

Ooooh totally missed all the messages (half asleep!) so happy to see this got sorted. Denting confidence can be very damaging at this age so pleased it has been righted