Unfair treatment of my daughter by class teacher

[Mummy20192]

Need some opinion please... my 9 yr old dd was very excited since summer holidays to return to school and to be able to run for the class eco monitor.. she did research on oceans, pollution over the lockdown all ready for election of the year. Anyways she won the ecomonitor role in class by democratic vote of her peers. She was super proud and excited.

Today she goes into school, and her teacher tells her that a senior member of staff has said that she has to share her role with the eco monitor of PST year as that child is very passionate about the environment.

My port dd is sad and embarrassed as she thinks her teachers think that she’s not good enough to be eco monitor even though her classmates voted for her.

I explained to her that’s it’s ok to share the role, but now I’m thinking that it’s completely unfair on the part of the teachers to put my child in this situation when no other children in the school is having to jobshare apart from my dd. Am i overreacting?

Idiotic teacher, for not having thought through the selection process. There could have been presentations followed by teacher appointment, for example. And letting someone off the work of research and presentation because of "passion" - terrible messaging! Alternatively, if the other child was the past monitor, who missed half the year, why not say that? Again,
"passion" without any work is a lousy qualification for anything, and the teacher ought not to be demoralising those who prepare and do the work.

OP I think you need to figure out if this is merely the old monitor and the new monitor sharing so you can explain to your child how it would only be fair if your child missed out due to lockdown.

To the PP using Karen as a slur. On SM that slur has been aimed at MN users as a whole and you are doing yourself and all of us a disservice by perpetuating it. In fact, MN should ban its use if they haven't already.

@katie43210

Comparing this to a general election is brilliant 😂

Who voted for Dominic Cummings to run the country?

I certainly missed it, I must get my eyes tested.
Only difference is that Boris chose his job share.

Today she goes into school, and her teacher tells her that a senior member of staff has said that she has to share her role with the eco monitor of PST year as that child is very passionate about the environment.

She was voted eco.monitor and is still the eco monitor.

I could be wrong, but I’m reading into this this statement to mean: Teacher had vote with her class and gave out roles. Headteacher had complaint from parent that their child who had the role last year is v.passionate, devastated at missing half the year, etc. Or has some other reason for this child requiring to be involved. Headteacher said, ‘no bother, they can share the role’ and told class teacher. Class teacher had to pass on the news.

However you feel about this, how you handle it as a parent will determine how your child digests it. Your daughter won a vote (which is usually a popularity contest) so has had the ego stroking part - celebrate that with her. Then don’t make a big deal about sharing the role. She is still an eco monitor. I’m sure the school will think up plenty of eco monitor tasks to keep them busy.

I wish her teacher would pick a new government for us

I understand your upset but at one time would have appreciated that teacher's ruling. My son, who has asd and is not very popular has wanted a particular class role for quite a few years. It always ends in a vote. They have to present a manifesto and then the children vote. The first year my son put in so much work and had some amazing ideas yet was beaten by another bright but more popular child. He got very upset about it and the principal gave him a medal. As he was young and upset I was told about it and they admitted to me that his ideas were the best they had seen. The vote takes place every 2 years, when the next time came around he got excited that it was finally his turn. Once again his effort was great. What happened? The child who's manifesto was to jump up and shout 'vote for me!' won. The teacher stuck to it and said 'that's democracy.' My son came out saying that there was no point putting in the work for these things as they are all a popularity contest. That was heartbreaking for me. Maybe the other child was in a similar situation?

@Mummy20192

The child who was chosen wasn’t even bothered about this role, as she was chosen by the teacher to be Library monitor on Friday.. what does this show my child on her 3rd day into school? It doesn’t matter if you work hard, it doesn’t matter if your classmates choose you... it’s all about who the teacher thinks is the best. There was no need for the voting Nonsense..

Will old monitor have to share her new library monitor role with another child?

The kids' vote hasn't been disregarded though, has it? Your daughter applied for and got the eco thing. The teacher then added a second person.now, the one the kids voted for and the one the teacher picked will work together.

It's probably best to look at it that way rather than the whole disregarded thing.

I've just been reading a newspaper article about a group of mums who are angrily boycotting their school because their Y3 children have had 7 different teachers in 18 months.

This is why.

It's almost certainly a strategy for the other student for any reason. It's not ideal for your daughter but maybe use it to teach her how to work alongside someone even when it isn't fair.

YABU.
I do hope that you've not passed on such negativity to your 9 year old.
My dd was "eco monitor" which is basically just turning lights off all day and promoting reusable cups.
I doubt it will end up on her cv.
You could take it up with the national geographic society but I think they've got bigger fish to fry.

YANBU, I do get what you're saying totally, but maybe there's a different reason for this - maybe the other child is having a difficult time at home that you don't know about, or struggling to settle back school, and they thought the topic and your daughter would be really good therapy for her? It's probably totally not that your daughter isn't good enough to do i.

Such a pity that so many appear to feel the child should suck it up.

She's 9, and this type of thing is important to them in their little lives.

How many adults would prepare, present, be awarded a position through merit, to then happily see 50% handed to someone who hand zero part in the process.🙄

The teacher may have had a reason, but that does not mean she should treat the 9 year old with such disrespect.

I think it is poor.

I can well imagine my children being outraged if any of their teacher's had been so dismissive of a process that they instigated.

I don't think it is unreasonable to ask the teacher what was her thinking behind this decision?
It was presented as one thing and has now been unilaterally changed after the event?

Why not tell the teacher that her daughter is disappointed with the change of events.

The teacher is working with children, surely she would be interested to know when a decision she has made has been deemed to be unfair?

Perhaps the teacher could learn from this and not instigate something and then not follow through?

Or is it only children that can learn from things?

I would suggest those that think it's just fine and dandy that a 9 year old who has worked hard for something and then has it unilaterally changed, is somehow getting a welcome lesson in life should give their heads a shake.

I have found that those who are usually so dismissive of others discomfort and upset, have usually the thinnest of skin, and the least tolerance of same.

OP, I think asking the teacher very calmly to explain her thinking here and telling her that your daughter was very disappointed to have had the decision set aside is reasonable.
Yes she is still in the position, but it is no longer the position as advertised!
Hopefully the teacher will have a reasonable answer and take on board that maybe a bit more thought might have been better.

I presume this isn't just a rookie mistake and she is experienced in the job?

Good luck

Massive overreaction.

YANBU.
I think you're getting a hard time OP. I think it's rubbish. If this had happened to me at this age it would have massively knocked my confidence and I would have no respect for or trust the teacher.

Apologies because mine haven't started yet so I don't know much about schools but what was the point of an election if they were just going to appoint who they wanted anyway? If they thought it would benefit the other child maybe they could have framed it like the other child was an assistant/helper as they are very committed to the cause.

Disappointments & unfairness are part of life. I am sure there is a lot more to this that school cannot divulge about the other child, this child could be facing big issues at home and school are trying to help. No one wants their child to be upset or disappointed, I totally get that, but her role hasn’t been taken away, just shared. I think you need to accept that.

Surely the real lesson here is that school councils are a load of bollocks. At my school you'd have maybe 2 council meetings a year and no real influence. People only tried to be class representative to get out of lessons in the end.

I suspect that the teacher organised the vote and had the election to get organised and one thing ticked off their list. Then in a staff meeting later that day, it was decided that certain children should take (if the role had not been allocated) /support the role for other circumstances e.g SEND/low-self esteem etc.

If you make this a big deal, your daughter will think it's a big deal. It isn't. A good life lesson is learning to share. Leaders are not leaders independently, they are supported by others to make a success of the role and job they do. Have a word with yourself.

Wait until you get to nativity and allocated the role of choir member when you’re convinced she should have been Mary.....every single year.

Maybe the other child has something deeply distressing going on in her life outside school and this has been shared to give her a distraction.

My daughter was Eco Monitor a couple of years ago. It involved going to a meeting at lunchtime once a week where they basically drew posters about picking up litter.

Sell it to your dd that 2 of them working together can have more impact on saving the planet.

FGS
There will be a reason why the other child needs to be involved. The way you have reacted explains why your dd is upset. What you should have said:
Oh that's brilliant. You will be able to come up with more ideas and can perhaps do some great projects together. It's more fun to do it as a pair.

The point of these roles is to give kids some responsibilities and make them feel good about themselves. This is what has happened here. You are the adult, you should know this.

I haven't read the full thread but I don't think you're being unreasonable. Whilst I understand there may be reasons the teacher chose the other child, I do think the decision undermines the ethos of hard work and I would be mentioning that.

"I am passionate about democracy"

Well, aren't we all?

She's a 9 year old kid being asked to share an extra curricular position.

She's not a 20 year old being beaten and arrested in Hong Kong by the Police for daring to protest on the streets, or an opposition leader being 'disappeared' off the streets of Minsk because she opposes Lukashenko. Is she ? I could go on.

Get over yourself for heaven's sake. The real issue here is that you believe - rightly or wrongly - that the class teacher has favourites and your precious dd isn't one of them. Such is life.

Teachers and schools have huge logistical and health issues to cope with at the moment, as well as having to try and catch the students up with near on 6 months of lost learning. You really think this shared 'eco monitor' even registers on anyone's radar of Significant Problems right now?

Precious and petty doesn't even begin to cover it.

You do realise the eco monitors are the ones who have to pick up rubbish in the playground.

I wouldn't stress it. Hardly going to end up on her CV.

perhaps the other child needed a boost.