Unfair treatment of my daughter by class teacher

[Mummy20192]

Need some opinion please... my 9 yr old dd was very excited since summer holidays to return to school and to be able to run for the class eco monitor.. she did research on oceans, pollution over the lockdown all ready for election of the year. Anyways she won the ecomonitor role in class by democratic vote of her peers. She was super proud and excited.

Today she goes into school, and her teacher tells her that a senior member of staff has said that she has to share her role with the eco monitor of PST year as that child is very passionate about the environment.

My port dd is sad and embarrassed as she thinks her teachers think that she’s not good enough to be eco monitor even though her classmates voted for her.

I explained to her that’s it’s ok to share the role, but now I’m thinking that it’s completely unfair on the part of the teachers to put my child in this situation when no other children in the school is having to jobshare apart from my dd. Am i overreacting?

OP, never post on this sort of issue in the small hours on MN. For some reason there is a much larger proportion of arseholes looking for the slightest excuse to pounce at that time.

I'd suggest at some point a friendly chat around the fact that your child is feeling sad and disappointed about this, you're sure there must be a good reason but she feels that she alone is being picked out amongst those elected as being not up to the job, and could the teacher perhaps explain the reasoning to her?

Surely by year 5 the kids can tell when someone's a charity case? It all sounds rather awkward.

Life ain’t fair. It’s useful that you’re daughter finds this out early and gets used to it. It will stand her in good stead when she starts work and someone completely unqualified gets promoted ahead of her because the boss fancies her.

Thank you all for your opinions... this has helped me a lot to see different perspective... I have already told my dd sharing is caring 😀. However, I will reiterate the point further. But I will make ask the teacher ( gently) as I think more than winning a vote,it’s important that my dd knows that her strong disappointment acknowledged by me and it that she knows her mum has her back. Just like it is important to teach that life isn’t fair, it is also important to ask questions when something is not right, instead of letting it slide by, as it’s not a comfortable question to ask!

I would assume it's because the other kid didn't get to actually do anything in the role for 6 months.

@BertNErnie

"So next time we get a pm by election and the queen thinks someone is passionate, should the pm have job share Because life isn’t fair?l"

Good lord. It's a year 5 class vote, not a general election.

but we are run by year 5s it seems

This is life. I recently entered a dog training competition, the idea was to teach the dog a small routine, video the dog performing it and then enter the video to the competition. We worked on it daily, I really, really wanted to win ... not for the prize, just for the validation that I can train dogs. It meant a lot to me and every single day we worked on perfecting it before submitting our final video. I was edge all day whilst the entries were being reviewed and I finally saw my name come up and just knew I’d won! I then saw that the judge couldn’t decide between me and another person so declared us joint winners. You know what we did? Congratulated each other.

I understand where you're coming from, OP. I actually went through similar myself as a child and didn't forget it. I had a solo singing part that I'd worked hard and won the audition for, practice got underway and the music teacher decided to make it a duet with her favourite student. I felt embarrassed, like I wasn't doing well enough and it actually knocked my confidence singing solo for quite a while. All in the past now of course, and neither of us were Beyonce , but the sense of unfairness remains.

It's shit and an early lesson for your daughter that sometimes you don't win even when you think you have.

As a side note, I cannot believe someone called you a 'Karen' just because you feel your daughter has been treated unfairly .

@Mummy20192

I have told my daughter to collaborate.. and work as a team.. which she will.. and no i haven’t emailed the teacher. I am upset, but obviously not enough, as I’m in here instead of writing to school.

However, this is a big deal to a 9 yr old in their young lives especially, when they work hard and have the courage to stand infront of class after 6 months of lockdown and give speech. I appreciate that the teacher knows what the other child needs, and that should have taken into consideration before giving out the results of the vote... not come in next day and say.. infront of the whole class... we’ll we are going to disregard the votes because someone is passionate... act then you wonder why young ppl aren’t keen on voting in this country. What a great message to teach about democracy!

Try telling with a child who has exerted themselves for 13 years of education that their future will be now decided by someone who doesn't know them from Adam, making a few calculations on the back of a fag packet.

Democracy my arse!

OP...don't sweat it 🤷‍♀️ I ran our school Eco Council for 3 years! It starts off great in September with fortnightly meetings. By December they've already dwindled to a quick 5 minutes at lunchtime once a month as the Christmas productions take priority! After Christmas everything is ramping up towards SATs in year 2/6 so they are having interventions and can't make it...so we cancel. By Easter it's practically non existent and they just never happen in summer term because trips/residentials/summer productions...🤷‍♀️ One year I only had 4 sets of minutes 🤦‍♀️ Sad, I know, but that's how busy it gets sometimes.

I hear you haven't told your dd this suff but she wasn't not given the role, you have no idea what the reason behind why they job shared.
I respond to my ds in these situations, life isn't fair.

I then don't make a drama about it.

What was the point of a vote if the teacher then arbitrarily appointed someone else too?? What a shit thing to do.

This is the type of thing your daughter will be posting about in 30 years time in the "What are you still salty about" thread.

@reefedsail

I've just been reading a newspaper article about a group of mums who are angrily boycotting their school because their Y3 children have had 7 different teachers in 18 months.

This is why.

Hmm is it really though?

The other kid only got to do the role for a few months.

I think they also have a right to feel a bit aggrieved by this.

Sharing the job therefore makes total sense.

You are being "that parent"

@SmileIke

What does PST year mean?

Yes; this. It's relevant because, while I don't think OP's daughter has been particularly hard done by because she still has the role, I'm more annoyed for the other candidates (OP said there were 3-5 in total) who have seen a child who presumably didn't campaign at all, parachuted into the job.

Of eco-monitor.

I'm too invested in this.

I think there is nothing wrong with teaching your children to expect things to be fair - it bodes well for the generation we are raising. She won the vote fair and square. She should expect the prize of being able to do the job. The other child is the snowflake, not your child.

What is PST year? I tried Googling but couldn't find anything that made sense - e.g. 'PST school' brings up 'Peer Support Teacher'

@billy1966

Such a pity that so many appear to feel the child should suck it up.

She's 9, and this type of thing is important to them in their little lives.

How many adults would prepare, present, be awarded a position through merit, to then happily see 50% handed to someone who hand zero part in the process.🙄

The teacher may have had a reason, but that does not mean she should treat the 9 year old with such disrespect.

I think it is poor.

I can well imagine my children being outraged if any of their teacher's had been so dismissive of a process that they instigated.

I don't think it is unreasonable to ask the teacher what was her thinking behind this decision?
It was presented as one thing and has now been unilaterally changed after the event?

Why not tell the teacher that her daughter is disappointed with the change of events.

The teacher is working with children, surely she would be interested to know when a decision she has made has been deemed to be unfair?

Perhaps the teacher could learn from this and not instigate something and then not follow through?

Or is it only children that can learn from things?

I would suggest those that think it's just fine and dandy that a 9 year old who has worked hard for something and then has it unilaterally changed, is somehow getting a welcome lesson in life should give their heads a shake.

I have found that those who are usually so dismissive of others discomfort and upset, have usually the thinnest of skin, and the least tolerance of same.

OP, I think asking the teacher very calmly to explain her thinking here and telling her that your daughter was very disappointed to have had the decision set aside is reasonable.
Yes she is still in the position, but it is no longer the position as advertised!
Hopefully the teacher will have a reasonable answer and take on board that maybe a bit more thought might have been better.

I presume this isn't just a rookie mistake and she is experienced in the job?

Good luck

Tell the teacher the child was disappointed, fine. In fact, good. I think it's important to remind teachers how much children can be affected by seemingly unimportant things.

Assume the teacher is incompetent based on one decision? Ridiculous.

Teachers make thousands of decisions every week. Right now, many of them are to do with public safety. How to vote for an eco monitor will be way down on the priority list.

And to be even more fair, it doesn't even sound like it was the teacher's decision, but that of someone else.

I agree its important to acknowledge the disappointment, but then move on. House of lords/commons is a pretty solid real world example,even if not totally analogous.

A good opportunity to explain proportional representation versus first past the post in the British electoral system.

I think becoming involved in something so insignificant makes it a much bigger issue and undermines her day to day ability to manage minor disappointment. Leave it be. It’s a non issue.

Im presuming PST is a typo for last.

There may be more to it that the other girl just been passionate about it. Maybe the other girl is going through a hard time at home, domestic violence, a death, bullying, etc and the school and trying to keep her spirits up.

In an eco role I think the more people and ideas is a good thing, more ideas, more presence.

Hang on so pst is prior year? So that child missed out pretty much completely but the message to your daughter is life is not fair because you have to share? How about see how this affected other girl, you still won the vote but sharing the role is growing the fairness in the world, by granting opportunities to both of you.

@Aroundtheworldin80moves

Im presuming PST is a typo for last.

Ah; ok. So, a job-share with the kid who was eco monitor in Yr 8? That's ok, isn't it? Although the school should've said: 'X who did the job so well last year will continue to do it, helped by whomever wins today, etc etc.' Might have avoided all this.

@timeisnotaline

Hang on so pst is prior year? So that child missed out pretty much completely but the message to your daughter is life is not fair because you have to share? How about see how this affected other girl, you still won the vote but sharing the role is growing the fairness in the world, by granting opportunities to both of you.

Yes, exactly. It'll be acknowledging that they only got to do it for half a year. C'mon, OP, be fair.

no other children in the school is having to jobshare apart from my dd

Err, and the one she is job sharing with. Team work is a far more valuable skill than you realise, obviously. And perish the thought the teacher might be right and your daughter may learn something from this other child!