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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Unfair treatment of my daughter by class teacher

581 replies

Mummy20192 · 08/09/2020 00:29

Need some opinion please... my 9 yr old dd was very excited since summer holidays to return to school and to be able to run for the class eco monitor.. she did research on oceans, pollution over the lockdown all ready for election of the year. Anyways she won the ecomonitor role in class by democratic vote of her peers. She was super proud and excited.

Today she goes into school, and her teacher tells her that a senior member of staff has said that she has to share her role with the eco monitor of PST year as that child is very passionate about the environment.

My port dd is sad and embarrassed as she thinks her teachers think that she’s not good enough to be eco monitor even though her classmates voted for her.

I explained to her that’s it’s ok to share the role, but now I’m thinking that it’s completely unfair on the part of the teachers to put my child in this situation when no other children in the school is having to jobshare apart from my dd. Am i overreacting?

OP posts:
Jourdain11 · 10/09/2020 09:12

Why so nasty?

It's mean and it just isn't necessary!

Mittens030869 · 10/09/2020 09:30

Read the thread, people! The OP has updated and a very good solution has been found for both girls. And the OP handled it in exactly the right way in the end.

I think some posters forget that when an OP comes on here to ask for advice on how to handle a particular situation they're unhappy about, it means that they're not going to wade in with both feet and make waves. It's the same as talking to a friend in RL and asking for advice.

When they say that they've already made a complaint and ask if they had been unreasonable in doing so, then that's entirely different and they do then deserve the kicking that they inevitably get (and which they're probably looking for).

murakamilove · 10/09/2020 10:11

@Mummy20192 - thanks, that is really appreciated. Very pleased you’ve managed a good outcome. Flowers

forrestgreen · 10/09/2020 10:33

Great job, well done for standing up for your dd

TheSeedsOfADream · 10/09/2020 10:39

You actually had the other 9 year old effectively demoted?
Jesus.

Original poster
Mummy20192 · 10/09/2020 10:56

@kittenpeak thank you for the nastiness.. I hope you enjoy the rest of your day feeling good about yourself that you managed to put a 9yr olds ability down. Well done to you!

OP posts:
Original poster
Mummy20192 · 10/09/2020 10:57

@TheSeedsOfADream yes it’s called “collaboration” !

OP posts:
canigooutyet · 10/09/2020 11:23

Glad to see you had a good outcome what with alternating meetings etc.

Just out of curiosity, sorry you might have mentioned this, did the girl even apply this year?

Jourdain11 · 10/09/2020 11:32

The girl didn't apply - this is why the whole thing seems weird by the teacher.

I feel bad for the kids that stood, made a presentation, and have now been passed over Sad

canigooutyet · 10/09/2020 11:43

I didn't think she did. Just double checking because of some of the comments about her personal circumstances might be the reason why.

Maybe the girl doesn't want the role to begin with. These roles often seem great until you do them. The girl did it for over half a year and might have realised it's rather dull!

She knew the score, if she wanted the job she had to apply along with everyone else.

And if it was because the girl lacked confidence, that's a very bad move by the teacher. They are supposed to encourage confidence. What message does that send out? If you don't have the confidence in yourself, it's fine because you will get things anyway?

Snaketime · 10/09/2020 13:35

I think you did the right thing OP, and you are obviously raising your DD right as shown by the solution your DD came up with.
I agree the teacher obviously had her reasons and dont believe everything should be approved by children first, but in this circumstances, the teacher should have taken your DD aside and explained that this was happening and why before announcing it to the class.

TheEmpressOfUtterBastardry · 10/09/2020 15:20

So, about these elections: I hear there's a Pushy Parent of the Year vote coming up......Wink

canigooutyet · 10/09/2020 15:26

@TheEmpressOfUtterBastardry

So, about these elections: I hear there's a Pushy Parent of the Year vote coming up......Wink
We didn't have elections, did have a few parent bingo cards throughout the years🤣
BlueThistles · 10/09/2020 15:31

Well done OP, you sound like a great Mum, glad your daughter has got a positive resolution. It's nice to read about a Parent genuinely interested and pro-active in their child's school experiences. 🌺

Pobblebonk · 10/09/2020 15:40

Yes, if the teachers want another child to share the job that's fine. They don't need to give reasons.

When it means undermining and upsetting the child who actually took the trouble to put herself for election and whom the rest of the class chose, then yes, the teachers do need to give some sort of explanation. It might be different if this had happened in relation to a number of the posts involved, but the fact that it only affected one child makes it all the more important.

Nottherealslimshady · 10/09/2020 15:45

I think you did well and everybody came out of it a little better.

Elsewyre · 10/09/2020 16:07

@Mummy20192

What about winning a role fair and square and then someone else who didn’t even try for the role being handed the role on a platter because the teacher has a favourite? What are we teaching our children about democratic vote? If collaboration was needed, no need for peer vote... how is that fair?
Because kids popularity contests dont always pick the right person maybe?
BlueThistles · 10/09/2020 17:20

it's already been mentioned countless times, but the point is ignored over and over.

Do not have 'Classroom Elections' if you're not going to respect the Vote, popular or not. It's not difficult.

TooLittleTooLate80 · 10/09/2020 19:21

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Pobblebonk · 10/09/2020 21:08

Because kids popularity contests dont always pick the right person maybe?

Not applicable here, given that the other child didn't even stand for election.

ancientgran · 10/09/2020 21:21

Gosh there are some bitter nasty people about. OP well done, I'm glad the teacher listened and I think your daughter's solution was perfect. I do feel sorry for the kids who made an effort and got nothing, that bit still seems unfair but hopefully the teacher has done a little bit of learning herself.

notanoctopus · 11/09/2020 03:49

@ancientgran

Gosh there are some bitter nasty people about. OP well done, I'm glad the teacher listened and I think your daughter's solution was perfect. I do feel sorry for the kids who made an effort and got nothing, that bit still seems unfair but hopefully the teacher has done a little bit of learning herself.
This
ColdTattyWaitingForSummer · 11/09/2020 12:26

Glad the situation was resolved. It seems like explaining to the teacher that your dd was upset opened the teacher’s eyes and allowed your dd to feel heard and present a mature solution. Sounds like a win win to me!

CanICelebrate · 11/09/2020 12:33

YABU

CanICelebrate · 11/09/2020 12:37

And I think you were unreasonable to email the teacher. I also don’t think the solution is fair and I think you’re pleased with the outcome because you feel you’ve won!