Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My husband won't speak to me

219 replies

Bishpish · 07/09/2020 09:51

I don't know whether I am furious or upset. My husband won't speak to me because I took our children to school this morning. I was up at 5:30am preparing everything, he woke up at 8:10am and said he thought he was taking them as he has previously. I asked him to come with me but he didn't want to.

When I got back he was upset with me, saying he's taking them tomorrow. I said I wanted to take them but he 2as welcome to come along. Then he starts the dramatics saying that I'm stopping him from going to school, etc.

No, DH, you have done NOTHING to help me for 6 months now....you can't just cherry pick your favourite job and jump back up to help when it suits you.

I want to take them to school, he is more than welcome to come but he won't. He wants to take them on his own.

I am so upset, he probably won't speak to me for a week now or until I've told him I've changed my mind. Previously I would have just given in for a quiet life but I want to start doing what I want. Is that wrognof me?

OP posts:
dollypartonscoat · 07/09/2020 19:41

Excuse me but what?

He's not "letting" you go? Fuck that.

forrestgreen · 07/09/2020 19:42

What will happen when you walk out of the door with him and the kids tomorrow morning

dollypartonscoat · 07/09/2020 19:42

"everytime I say something he doesn't like he threatens to leave"

Good. And next time he storms out make sure he stays out. You can do better than that!

IlovecatsyesIdo · 07/09/2020 19:42

This is ridiculous OP, what the hell is his problem???
Why does he have to do the school runs on his own and why does he want to be added to the WhatsApp group? Have you asked him to explain why?
He cannot physically stop you going on the school run. There is much more to all of this than he is saying.
Is he acting strangely in other ways too? Why wasn’t he doing any childcare for the past 6 months?
This behaviour is beyond strange. Are you scared of him? What is actually good about this man?

I’ve asked lots of questions here because you are not giving much in the way of detail. It is very hard for strangers to offer advice when we don’t know the full story.

vanillandhoney · 07/09/2020 19:46

Next time he threatens to leave, show him the door.

What do you mean he won't "let you" do things? Are you safe?

S111n20 · 07/09/2020 19:46

Wow threatens to leave when he doesn’t get his own way. Your reply needs to be ok goodbye collect your belongings tomorrow don’t need your shit pathetic man.

honeygirlz · 07/09/2020 19:46

everytime I say something he doesn't like he threatens to leave.

Why do you want him to stay? Secondly, he has no intention of leaving, he uses it to control you.

MsMarple · 07/09/2020 19:51

He sounds despicable. And I bet he wouldn’t leave if you called his bluff - it’s just a way to control you. But if he did it would be good riddance!

RandomMess · 07/09/2020 19:57

You deserve so much better. Let him do the school run but just get up at 7.30, go out and leave them to it.

He is a nasty controlling man.

PickAChew · 07/09/2020 20:03

Not letting you?

He'd better get his arse out of bed in the morning, hadn't he.

You sound thoroughly ground down. It would probably be best if you took him up on his offer next time he threatened to leave.

Whatifitallgoesright · 07/09/2020 20:04

You go out at 7.30 for a long run or a short run to a cafe. Hopefully one in your area. Do you drive?

liverbird10 · 07/09/2020 20:07

He sounds like an irritating manchild.

Shizzlestix · 07/09/2020 20:13

He’s disgusting. Are you going to carry on allowing him to take the piss? You’re ‘not allowed’?! Who does he think he is and why does he think he’s in charge of you? Idiot.

MitziK · 07/09/2020 20:14

Ah, so it's about not wanting you to have friendships or speak to anybody else who might tell you he's a prick.

walksonthebeach · 07/09/2020 20:15

@MrsToothyBitch

I'd make a point of doing it myself from now on. I'd wait to see which simpering bimbo cracks first and asks where he's got to...
Brilliant! 😂
Merryhobnobs · 07/09/2020 20:17

I am so confused. At the moment because we can both my husband and I are doing the school run. Why does he not want to do it together? It's utterly bizarre and the way he is treating you is horrible.

walksonthebeach · 07/09/2020 20:19

@DelphiniumBlue

Fab that he wants to do the school run sometimes, that means you can go to an early gym session/swim/whatever, leaving the house at about 7am. And obviously you wouldn't be giving a grown man instructions or lunches/bags/PE kit etc, doubtless he'll be able to sort all that without you getting involved. Win/win, I say. And no need for long complicated discussions, just " Fine, you take them tomorrow." Then just get up and go out yourself and go and do your thing.
This!

The novelty would soon wear off for him if he needed to remember who needs what on which day, notes, P.E, art projects. Let him deal with homework aswell, see how he likes that!

BloggersBlog · 07/09/2020 20:26

Bizarre he wants to do the school run Hmm a lot of people dread it.
So is he doing the whole getting the kids ready too? And what do you do for 3 hours before school? Surely 7am is early enough to get up

emmyhelly · 07/09/2020 20:28

but why 0530!?

yelyah22 · 07/09/2020 20:32

OP this isn't normal. How he's behaving isn't normal. It's controlling, manipulative and weird. He doesn't 'let' you do anything, you're an adult, what is he going to do to stop you?!

walksonthebeach · 07/09/2020 20:34

What does he mean he won't "let you"? If you went to do the school run tomorrow would he try to stop you?

FilledSoda · 07/09/2020 20:37

He's a nut job , who the fuck does he think he is ?

Justgorgeous · 07/09/2020 20:37

Why would he want to be on the Mum’s chat ? I took myself off the what’s app group after 2 days of 60/70 messages per day of absolute waffle.

willowmelangell · 07/09/2020 20:47

One day he is going to threaten to leave(again) and you will look him in the eye and say, "I will help you pack."

As for school run, make sure he does everything needed to get them fully ready.

TheyThoughtItWasAllOver · 07/09/2020 20:52

Why stay with someone who clearly despises you? And don't say because he's lovely really and a great father because he obviously is not.