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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Made to feel guilty. Dog rehomed

245 replies

MrsWarleggan · 31/08/2020 19:40

My friends dog bit me, and 2 hours later, my toddler on Saturday. Biting me was my fault, toddler was just standing near him and hadn't even touched him.

He was a pup and without my knowledge they took him back to where they got him from yesterday. They are heartbroken.

Went round for dinner with other friends and I said to someone else that I felt guilty and instead of saying "Well, they shouldn't have bit" I got (didn't look at me) "Well yes, it's all very sad and I understand why you feel like that". I couldn't believe it, and made me feel even worse. Later on in the day my friends son, pushed my eldest who started crying and I was greeted with "I can't get rid of him too". I was dumbfounded, and didn't know what to say. This dog had my toddlers hand in its mouth for just being near him yet I'm being made out to be the bad person. Then followed numerous discussions throughout the evening about how devastated they are that he's gone and I felt massively uncomfortable for the rest of the day.

Transpires that another of the litter has been put down for biting a kid.

AIBU or are they??

OP posts:
IceIceCoffee · 31/08/2020 19:41

How old exactly ? It’s pretty standard for very young puppies to nip

KilljoysDutch · 31/08/2020 19:42

Puppies are very bitey and mouthy, did the puppy break your sons skin or cause him to bleed? They need to learn bite inhibition and it takes time. Your friends sending the poor thing back seems really rushed to me.

Original poster
MrsWarleggan · 31/08/2020 19:42

@IceIceCoffee

9 months. It wasn't a nip.

OP posts:
ThroughThickAndThin01 · 31/08/2020 19:44

9 months is a baby.

Original poster
MrsWarleggan · 31/08/2020 19:44

@KilljoysDutch

Puncture wounds on me and blood. Had also bitten the owner atleast twice.

OP posts:
Dominicgoings · 31/08/2020 19:44

So a dog bit YOU and then somehow, 2 hours later, was able to bite your child?

How old is the dog?

To be honest it’s probably better off going to a home where it’s behaviour/cues and warning signs will be better managed by it’s new owners AND the people it is exposed to.

StepAwayFromGoogle · 31/08/2020 19:44

Yes, standard for puppies to nip but I presume this was a proper bite?

SimonJT · 31/08/2020 19:44

Puppies are very bitey, it sounds like they used the incident as an excuse to to get rid of the puppy rather than any actual concern. Our pup has improved as in his biting frequency has reduced, but he chomps down as hard as he can with his little razor sharp teeth. Not pleasant, but an expected part of puppyhood.

purplecorkheart · 31/08/2020 19:45

They made their choice but I am sorry the puppy bite you and two hours later the dog was around your toddler?? Puppies nip, but why if the dog bite you would you have your toddler anywhere near the puppy?

Calvinlookingforhobbes · 31/08/2020 19:45

How old was the puppy? I can’t understand them being upset but it shouldn’t be directed at you and I would have taken the puppy to a behaviourist and classes for rehabilitation first.

Original poster
MrsWarleggan · 31/08/2020 19:46

I didn't ask them or tell the to send him back. I didn't even make a massive thing of it when it happened. All I said was that my DD hadnt touched him. It was completely their decision.

OP posts:
DimidDavilby · 31/08/2020 19:46

You let your toddler stand next to a dog that had just bitten you?!?!

ExclamationPerfume · 31/08/2020 19:47

It is your fault for not supervising your child. Poor puppy that's what they do.

SnackSizeRaisin · 31/08/2020 19:47

Why was it your fault the dog bit you? That could be why they are blaming you?

It's not your fault they took it back to the breeder though - they could have trained it, muzzled it or kept it away from visitors. Sounds like they were looking for an excuse to get rid.

What breed is it? French bulldog by any chance?

Elouera · 31/08/2020 19:49

You let your toddler stand next to a dog that had just bitten you?!?!

This ^

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 31/08/2020 19:49

A 9 month old puppy was put down for biting? That’s barbaric.

AmICrazyorWhat2 · 31/08/2020 19:50

I agree with @SimonJT, they used these incidents as an excuse to get rid of the dog. The bitey behavior could be addressed but they didn’t want to.

NailsNeedDoing · 31/08/2020 19:50

Well, you do share some responsibility if you’re going to let your toddler stand around next to a dog that you know bites.

It sounds like the owners made the right decision though, hopefully the dog will end up somewhere that it’s given a better chance.

FunorFitness · 31/08/2020 19:50

Why did the dog bite you? Why was your toddler stood close enough to a known biter to get bitten?

I agree with others that the friends acted quickly taking it back. Were these serious bites or puppy nips?

Original poster
MrsWarleggan · 31/08/2020 19:50

@ExclamationPerfume

Dog was sitting in between me and my friends DH. DD was walking past with my DH and he just turned and went.

DD was completely supervised. Hardly in a room alone with him.

OP posts:
Skyliner001 · 31/08/2020 19:52

@Dominicgoings

So a dog bit YOU and then somehow, 2 hours later, was able to bite your child?

How old is the dog?

To be honest it’s probably better off going to a home where it’s behaviour/cues and warning signs will be better managed by it’s new owners AND the people it is exposed to.

This first bit. Sounds like chaos. Poor Pup. A better owner next time I hope.
hastingsmua1 · 31/08/2020 19:52

I think you’re reading too much into the comments.

Firstly you set your friend up with that question. It’s like asking “does my bum look big in this?” and expecting a certain flattering response, but then being offended when they take your question literally and give an honest reply. You just wanted your friend to massage your ego and only respond to say you it’s not your fault - any other answer they would give would have offended you? You said you feel guilty and your friend said “I can see why”. It’s a standard response, it just isn’t sugar coated.

The second comment could be a snappy, rude remark or it could be a joke. I think it’s clear that emotions were running high amongst the people there. A puppy being put down or returned to the breeder is a sad event, although it wasn’t your fault. In the future, if you feel uncomfortable then leave early.

user1473878824 · 31/08/2020 19:53

@ThroughThickAndThin01 That’s not what the post said. It said another dog from the litter bit a child and was put down.

OP you aren’t in the wrong though also I am a bit Hmm that you let your toddler near a dog that bit you so you must have found aggressive.

Amazed at all the people going oh nooo but all puppies are a bit mouthy! The owners made a decision, it sounds like the right one when they also have a child.

hastingsmua1 · 31/08/2020 19:54

Sorry you didn’t ask your first friend a question but my sentiments still stand.

DolphinsAndNemesis · 31/08/2020 19:54

Puppies bite. They need to learn not to, and if the owners weren't willing to work with the pup it's probably for the best that they gave it up. But that was their choice. They shouldn't blame you for how they chose to handle the situation.

I'm shocked that another puppy from the same litter has been put down. A 9-month-old puppy? That's terrible.