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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Made to feel guilty. Dog rehomed

245 replies

MrsWarleggan · 31/08/2020 19:40

My friends dog bit me, and 2 hours later, my toddler on Saturday. Biting me was my fault, toddler was just standing near him and hadn't even touched him.

He was a pup and without my knowledge they took him back to where they got him from yesterday. They are heartbroken.

Went round for dinner with other friends and I said to someone else that I felt guilty and instead of saying "Well, they shouldn't have bit" I got (didn't look at me) "Well yes, it's all very sad and I understand why you feel like that". I couldn't believe it, and made me feel even worse. Later on in the day my friends son, pushed my eldest who started crying and I was greeted with "I can't get rid of him too". I was dumbfounded, and didn't know what to say. This dog had my toddlers hand in its mouth for just being near him yet I'm being made out to be the bad person. Then followed numerous discussions throughout the evening about how devastated they are that he's gone and I felt massively uncomfortable for the rest of the day.

Transpires that another of the litter has been put down for biting a kid.

AIBU or are they??

OP posts:
Purpledaisychain · 31/08/2020 20:25

Yes, puppies are mouthy and a bit nippy, especially when they are teething. That is normal, not an excuse. Hmm

However, at nine months, the owners should have that behaviour under control. Nine months is still a baby. Dogs are not fully grown until 18 months.

Taking something from a dog that you do not know was a pretty daft thing to do. It would have taken that as a threat. It is your fault that the dog bit you.

It is worrying that the dog bit your child badly enough for a hospital visit. That is not a nip. Is it possible that the dog was just trying to play and got too excited? Or that your child did do something such as subtly pulling it's fur/tail in passing? Young kids can be sneaky. Although rehoming it was extreme. If it were my dog, I'd be keeping it away from young kids when possible, either keeping it on a lead or using a muzzle and also trying to figure out what caused such a reaction. It sounds like they just wanted an excuse to get rid of it.

The other puppy being put down may have been an overreaction. Or there may be a genetic condition that has been passed down by the parent that causes aggression Even then, putting to sleep should only ever be a last resort. Hopefully the puppy finds a lovely new home with owners who can train it and look after it properly.

Redbirds · 31/08/2020 20:26

A Collie is a working dog bred to herd; including small children!
Poor dog was probably stressed in an unsuitable home. Don't feel guilty OP rehoming will be the best outcome for the everyone.
Unfortunately I'm sure there will be many more " lockdown dogs" being rehomed soon.

Original poster
MrsWarleggan · 31/08/2020 20:27

@NoSquirrels

Just before. They had one session with a trainer and then lockdown happened. This is not their first dog. Previous was a rescue who passed away at the ripe old age of 16. I have also had dogs all my life.

OP posts:
LadyLairdArgyll · 31/08/2020 20:27

Sounds like the owners needed training, on how to train a pup.

Histrionicz · 31/08/2020 20:27

Collies are SO intelligent. They’re bought by people who think they’re cute and do absolutely nothing to stimulate their brains, which is why they’re responsible for a high number of dog bites in the UK.

I am astonished that a dog was put down at nine months though. That is outrageous. That is still classed as a puppy. Is that really true and not an attempt at justifying the story? If so, the owner must have completely fucked the poor animal up in such a short space of time.

This is why they’re a working breed, because they’re so smart and so trainable. I cannot stand people buying unsuitable dogs and making no attempts to understand them and work with their traits and then blaming the dog when they behave anti-socially.

Igotthemheavyboobs · 31/08/2020 20:28

From the sound of it though, the owners aren't the ones who are making you fell guilty. Is that right? It was different 'friends' who weren't there and supposedly didn't see the biting?

Darkstar4855 · 31/08/2020 20:30

I don’t think you should feel guilty about their decision to send the dog back.

However I would not let my toddler anywhere near a dog who had just bitten me - not even in the same room unless the dog was restrained or on a lead.

Purpledaisychain · 31/08/2020 20:31

And yeah, I wouldn't be suprised at a nine month pup still being a bit nippy. But the owner should try to correct that behaviour.

Original poster
MrsWarleggan · 31/08/2020 20:31

@Purpledaisychain

I did not take it of off him, I asked him to drop. My DD did absolutely nothing to him and whilst had been around him (obviously) throughout the day had shown absolutely no interest in him. I will not let kids jump all over dogs as its not fair. There was no antagonist behaviour on my DD's part at all. It was not my DD that went to hospital it was another owners DD from the same litter.

OP posts:
vanillandhoney · 31/08/2020 20:31

He had always been a typical pup with the whole mouthing. Had never been anything other than lovely. He bit me because he had had something in his mouth that he shouldn't of and I tried to get it out. Not by pulling it out but by coaxing and he just went. He had never given any impression in the past about being aggressive towards me or my DD.

Then I'm sorry, but that was utterly stupid of you. You never, ever force a strange dog to open their mouth and try and take something of them like that - what the bloody hell were you thinking?

EachandEveryone · 31/08/2020 20:32

I cant see avet putting a 9 month old puppy down

maddiemookins16mum · 31/08/2020 20:32

This is what happens when people get puppies from random people probably advertising them on FB.

Oysterbabe · 31/08/2020 20:33

If I'd been bitten by a dog that dog would not get in striking distance of my child that's for sure.

ballsdeep · 31/08/2020 20:33

@ExclamationPerfume

It is your fault for not supervising your child. Poor puppy that's what they do.
I'm sorry to say I feel the same way. If a dog had bitten me, there's no way of feel comfortable staying within its proximity, never mind leave my toddler next to it
Original poster
MrsWarleggan · 31/08/2020 20:34

@histrionicz

It wasn't the owners decision to PTS they were told by the police to.

OP posts:
AuntyPasta · 31/08/2020 20:36

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

SeaEagleFeather · 31/08/2020 20:36

You're getting a hard time here OP

Original poster
MrsWarleggan · 31/08/2020 20:37

@vanillandhoney

At what point did I say I forced the dog to open its mouth?! 🙄

He was standing next to me I said "drop" and pointed my finger to the floor!

OP posts:
TrickorTreacle · 31/08/2020 20:37

@NoSquirrels ^^ BOOM! - you hit the nail on the head with lockdown.

A lot of puppies got snapped up because everyone thought it was a swell idea to have a cute puppy while WFH or furloughed. Puppy prices trebled. Now that people are returning to work, they decided that a dog was only for Christmas, not for life and most of them are now either re-homed for peanuts, at a rescue centre or abandoned. That's the ulterior motive of this thread.

Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel · 31/08/2020 20:38

Another one...

No, a 9 month old puppy should not be put down. If indeed it was. Hmm

GreyHare · 31/08/2020 20:39

@EachandEveryone

I cant see avet putting a 9 month old puppy down
They can and they do when the dog is aggressive, and sadly some dogs are aggressive, often it is in their heritage and there are far worse things than being PTS like a sensitive breed like a collie being in pen at a rescue for months on end with little stimulus as too many dogs in rescue and one with a bite history takes longer to aehome if it's possible at all to rehome it, so again yes Vets can and do put young animals down as they are capable of seeing the bigger picture.
Judystilldreamsofhorses · 31/08/2020 20:40

My friend and her husband have four beautiful collies. They live on a farm and the dogs are so lovely, and so clever, but they are trained (and then eventually work) from as soon as they are old enough. By the time those dogs lie down by the fire after their tea, they are definitely ready for a sleep.

She would never recommend anyone have one as a pet unless they are able to give them masses of exercise, including games, because otherwise they get fed up and can be destructive and bitey.

vanillandhoney · 31/08/2020 20:41

[quote MrsWarleggan]@vanillandhoney

At what point did I say I forced the dog to open its mouth?! 🙄

He was standing next to me I said "drop" and pointed my finger to the floor![/quote]
That's not what you said at all!

You said "He bit me because he had had something in his mouth that he shouldn't of and I tried to get it out. Not by pulling it out but by coaxing and he just went."

From your post at 19:57.

Confronting a strange dog in that regard is not a good idea. Many dogs will resource guard valuable items and you should only attempt to get that item back by swapping it for a treat or toy. Confronting a dog generally always ends badly.

Original poster
MrsWarleggan · 31/08/2020 20:41

@TrickorTreacle

They had decided well before lockdown after their previous dog had died that they wanted to get another one and had visited him at home with mum. They obvs had to wait until he was ready to go.

They didn't want a cute dog for company whilst working from home. Lockdown was extremely unfortunate timing.

OP posts:
ExclamationPerfume · 31/08/2020 20:42

@MrsWarleggan knowing the dog had gone for you you still allowed your child near the dog. The dog was probably out of its comfort zone with other people there.