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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For considering forward facing a two year old...

287 replies

RowboatsinDisguise · 31/08/2020 13:50

I recently took DS’s ERF car seat out and gave the covers a good scrub and rinse as with potty training (wee only!) and general life debris they were utterly rank. In the meantime we’ve been using a spare group 1 FF seat. I much prefer it! It’s about a million times easier to strap him in (being heavily pregnant this is a massive factor), he’s happier chatting to me and seeing what’s going on, if he starts shouting I can work out why pretty much immediately... it’s just so much more pleasant for both of us!

Is it really so awful to want to keep him FF? I know why ERF is recommended. I’ve seen the crash tests. I know the stats. But I also know that the overall likelihood of being in a crash remains low and that forwards facing seats do still provide protection. I just don’t know what to do now!

OP posts:
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maryberryslayers · 31/08/2020 14:24

Because rear facing protects his head, neck and spine in the event of a crash.
FF in a harness is dangerous as his neck will essentially snap forward and it's not strong enough to cope with that at present.
Sadly what you find easier isn't always the safest option.
Crashes are unlikely but I've been involved in 2 serious ones as an adult passenger neither of which were the fault of the driver I was with, so personally I wouldn't take the risk. There are a lot of really bad drivers.
Mine will be ERF until 25kg.
Join 'car seat advice UK' on Facebook advice.

Dugsbollox · 31/08/2020 14:37

RF carseats are a PITA, so i totally understand your thoughts, but they're much safer for wee ones. God forbid anything should happen, I know I'd be kicking myself for going FF.

villamariavintrapp · 31/08/2020 14:38

Being a bit more pleasant isn't a good enough reason for me to risk the safety aspect. But each to their own really.

pineappletop · 31/08/2020 14:43

Sorry so unsafe for that age. I'd rather safer over easier any day of the week

MrsJBaptiste · 31/08/2020 14:44

It's up to you OP but on here you'll be told FF carcseats are the devil's work and your child should be ERF until they're 18... 🙄

MintyMabel · 31/08/2020 14:44

Not sure what you are hoping to achieve with the post. You know the facts, you've done the research, you can make your own risk assessment.

All that will happen here is a whole lot of people will try to make you feel like a shit parent (which you aren't) and that's probably the last thing you need.

NoSquirrels · 31/08/2020 14:46

Totally sympathise, but I suppose with car seats you need to ask yourself the hard question - how would you feel if you WERE in a crash? (Otherwise why bother at all with any form of restraint?)

I'd have struggled to keep our DC ERF - DC1 in particular hated it and was much happier facing forward. But I think if I had small ones now, I would keep with ERF, because that's what the science supports as best practice now.

tiredanddangerous · 31/08/2020 14:46

Rear facing is another one of those things that only happens on mumsnet. In the real world I don't know anyone who rear faces a 2 year old.

pineappletop · 31/08/2020 14:47

@tiredanddangerous see in the real world I don't know anyone who does FF their 2 year old...

CarterBeatsTheDevil · 31/08/2020 14:48

You have to look both at the overall likelihood of a crash (low, but does depend where you're driving to and how you're driving) and the likelihood of an injury FF as opposed to RF. You don't have control over whether you will be in an accident or not but you can do everything you can to mitigate the consequences of one by keeping him RF as long as possible. I know RF can be a pain but I will be keeping mine RF as long as possible because I think the stats strongly support that and it is an obvious thing I can do to protect her if there is a crash.

CarterBeatsTheDevil · 31/08/2020 14:49

@tiredanddangerous that really surprises me because I only know one person who has hers FF. Mine is nearly 3 and has been RF all her life and will be as long as they make RF seats to fit her.

justasking111 · 31/08/2020 14:50

DIL rear faced until basically they just did not fit in which is about aged 4-5 clothing wise.

porcelinaofthevastoceanss · 31/08/2020 14:51

My 2.5 year old is FF. I will be maki by the move to RF but it will go down like a lead balloon.

RedHelenB · 31/08/2020 14:54

Mine were all in FF by that age as those were the guidelines then and that's how car seats were manufactured. We were in one accident and he was fine in that car seat. I'm not sure what the law is nowadays but if FF is fine and you're happy with it go for it.

22Giraffes · 31/08/2020 14:56

Mine only RF until they outgrew their stage 0 car seats. I'd never heard of RF past the age of about 1 until I came on here, and in real life I don't know a single person who's kids RF past that age!

Wtfdidwedo · 31/08/2020 14:59

I moved mine aged under 2. It was either that or smash my car into a wall to stop the screaming. I couldn't drive further than ten minutes without her making herself sick from hysterically crying and I used to fantasise about crashing my car so I'd be in hospital for a long time to get away. She stopped as soon as she forward faced. It's obviously safer to RF in an accident but it's a parent's decision.

Home42 · 31/08/2020 14:59

Until 25kg???????? My 9 year old is only 24kg!! She is very petite but even so!

Brocolibean · 31/08/2020 15:00

I forward faced from 18 months, as otherwise DS was so inconsolable that it was so distracting it became more of a danger. But we only occasionally used mine (nursery within walking distance and then I would drive to work after drop off), and mainly used DHs car which was rear facing and I could sit in the back with him. You've viewed the videos, read up on it, so up to you to make an informed decision and balance things out.

Prelockdownbaby · 31/08/2020 15:02

I rear face my 2 year old and I exist in real life! Mine does spin though and on occasion I forward face

Most people I know forward face their's though

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 31/08/2020 15:04

Rear facing is another one of those things that only happens on mumsnet. In the real world I don't know anyone who rear faces a 2 year old.

Same here and I'm a childminder and know a lot of other childminders and parents so know a lot of children.

Nixen · 31/08/2020 15:06

My DD is rear facing (she’s 2) and I’ll be keeping her RF until she’s 4. We have the joie360 which makes it easier to put her in the seat, maybe look at a seat like that to make putting your child into the car easier?
I don’t approve of FF at this age.

whirlwindwallaby · 31/08/2020 15:06

I think the distraction of a child crying or parent otherwise worrying about them, perhaps reaching around while driving, things like that can sometimes make it more likely to have an accident in the first place.

Is it really up to 25 kg for rear facing? Do booster seats rear face now? DS was in a booster at age 5 and 17 kg, he wasn't 25 kg until over age 8, then out of his booster at age 10.

ShinyGreenElephant · 31/08/2020 15:08

My 2 year old is RF but I will probably put her FF when the baby grows out of the stage 0 car seat, so around 3.5. Shes quite tall though. Shes sat FF once in a friends car seat for a short journey and I was amazed how much easier and more comfortable it is, not worth the risk though unfortunately

LolaLollypop · 31/08/2020 15:10

Mine has been FF since they were about 10 months. Like the PP, I don't know anyone who has a RF toddler. Certainly not til they get to 4-5 yrs old! My kids would be going absolutely mental staring at the headrest.

SchnitzelVon · 31/08/2020 15:10

We have a rear facing swivel one it’s the dream - so easy to put them in. It’s the Sirona.