Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For considering forward facing a two year old...

287 replies

RowboatsinDisguise · 31/08/2020 13:50

I recently took DS’s ERF car seat out and gave the covers a good scrub and rinse as with potty training (wee only!) and general life debris they were utterly rank. In the meantime we’ve been using a spare group 1 FF seat. I much prefer it! It’s about a million times easier to strap him in (being heavily pregnant this is a massive factor), he’s happier chatting to me and seeing what’s going on, if he starts shouting I can work out why pretty much immediately... it’s just so much more pleasant for both of us!

Is it really so awful to want to keep him FF? I know why ERF is recommended. I’ve seen the crash tests. I know the stats. But I also know that the overall likelihood of being in a crash remains low and that forwards facing seats do still provide protection. I just don’t know what to do now!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
EasterIssland · 31/08/2020 17:22

@whirlwindwallaby

£275 is a weekly wage in the real world.
That’s the one I’ve. It last til the kids are 25kg so many will well be 6 years or so and no need any other seat. There are cheaper ones but only last til 18kg. Whilst ff many of them will need to be changed depending on the weight.
Paintedmaypole · 31/08/2020 17:28

Does anyone find that their toddler gets travel sick when rear facing?

ellenpartridge · 31/08/2020 17:30

Did was RF until just under 3 then turned her seat (swivel one). Seems to fairly typical amongst people I know.

BertieBotts · 31/08/2020 17:31

WRT price, I did a bit of a comparison the other day comparing rear facing seats in various incarnations to forward facing seats.

For fairness, I didn't include the ultra cheap own brand/generic/dodgy internet seats you can buy.

Rear facing seatbelt fitted seat up to 18kg: £70 - 200
Forward facing seatbelt fitted seat up to 18kg: £75 - 190

Rear facing isofix seat up to 18kg/105cm: £200 - 450
Forward facing isofix seat up to 18kg/105cm: £180 - 400

Rear facing seat up to 25kg: £160 - 360
Forward facing seat with harness up to 25kg: £80 - 300*

*Note - this includes some poor performing and/or unknown seats because there are very few on the market. If you take those brands out of the equation, it's £140 - 300.

If you're looking at £25 supermarket seats (not boosters, harnessed seats) because this is genuinely your budget, IMO you'd actually be better off with a second hand seat as long as you do your research and know what you're buying.

Availability is another question, but these days, up to 18kg you have a good chance of finding seats in high street chain stores, for 25kg limit seats these are generally specialists and/or online.

QueenofmyPrinces · 31/08/2020 17:33

Does anyone find that their toddler gets travel sick when rear facing?

Thankfully not. My 3 year old rear faced and he loves it.

I’ve also got a 6 year old who is in a forward facing high backed booster seat and he’s always been jealous of my rear facing toddler Grin If me and my eldest son were ever going somewhere just the two of us then he’d ask to sit in the rear facing seat as opposed to his own booster seat.

Sadly he went over the 18kg weight allowance about 6 months ago so he can’t go in it anymore which he isn’t happy about Grin

TheDuchessOfAquitaine · 31/08/2020 17:35

Rear face...worst is so unlikely to happen but if it did I couldn’t live with that on my conscience.

frogswimming · 31/08/2020 17:36

When did they bring in rf for past group 0?

I have an 18 month old and older ones and just assumed she'd forward face when she moves seat like they did.

Bringonspring · 31/08/2020 17:36

We changed both of ours when they got to the right weight and age which at the time was 18 months. I have very tall children though and I have no idea where their legs would go/how that would be comfy to be RR

Like all things you have to way up the likelihood of risk etc

nanbread · 31/08/2020 17:41

For the majority of car owners, if you can afford to run a car, you can afford an extra £70 or whatever it would cost to upgrade to a RF, for something you will use for 3/4 years...

ErinBrockovich · 31/08/2020 17:43

DD rear faced until age 3 as went over weight limit on the seat she was in.
DS will do the same. Rear face until too heavy or tall.
Yes it’s a PITA. Imagine having a ‘spirited’ 5 year old pissing the younger one off and not being able to see. He hates the seat. I hate the seat. It takes up a shit load of room to the point where the passenger has their knees around their ears.
But he will continue to rear face.
I can’t live with the risk. He might not survive the risk.

BertieBotts · 31/08/2020 17:46

The bigger rearward facing seats for toddlers are designed with more leg room than the baby carriers. But children may also rest their legs up on the back seat, or cross them. Children frequently sit with their legs all over the place up by their ears etc when they play on the floor, they find it more comfortable.

In some of the cheaper/smaller ERF seats some people find their children run out of leg room which can be a reason for turning forwards. But IME this isn't an issue until about age 2-3. DS2 is tall and his legs are still resting comfortably on the edge of the car seat, even though we have one of the ones with less leg room.

Frog they have always been available in Sweden, it's the norm there. I would say they really became accessible/mainstream here when spinning car seats kicked off in a big way which was about 2016/17. The Maxi Cosi Axiss had been popular for years by that point but this was when other brands started bringing out spin seats. Joie have also helped massively by bringing out affordable seats. Their seatbelt fitted ones (under £100) were 2013/14 I think, and then the Joie Spin was the first cheap(er) isofix one. Until then the most accessible seat was the original Cybex Sirona with the impact shield for forward facing and that was about £300 I think.

MuchTooTired · 31/08/2020 18:05

@G5000 they were scrunched up, uncomfortable as hell and screaming every time they got in the car seat. They were like completely different kids once they faced forwards.

Anyway, as I said previously, to each their own. I’m comfortable with FF for my kids, if you’re not with yours then that’s your choice!

frogswimming · 31/08/2020 18:14

I don't know, it's a hard sell for me. My three eldest all ff at 18 months and they were fine. It seems a bit like emphasising risk and guilting parents into buying rf. I never even realised rf for over 18 months was a thing till now!

lockeddownandcrazy · 31/08/2020 18:14

"If you're looking at £25 supermarket seats (not boosters, harnessed seats) because this is genuinely your budget, IMO you'd actually be better off with a second hand seat as long as you do your research and know what you're buying"

That is terrible advice - never ever buy a second hand car seat

SimonJT · 31/08/2020 18:15

My son is has been forwarding facing since he was 4.5, he is tall for his age but he is all body, so the neck/head support couldn’t be extended further without removing the front passenger seat. He had more than enough legroom and he is in the 98ish percentile for height.

KatharinaRosalie · 31/08/2020 18:22

I don't get the 'they were fine FF' and 'lived to tell the tale' comments. Most of us were driven around without seatbelts, I wouldn't do it to my DC only because I'm still alive.

OhToBeASeahorse · 31/08/2020 18:26

I think in your situation I would RF. If a toddler gets carsick or absolutely hates RF then actually i think that can be hugely distracting and a risk in itself. If it is just for convenience I wouldn't.

I do hate the 'gosh is this a thing now', 'I don't know anybody who does this' comments tho, I find it so cringeworthy. I know people who FF from the earliest legal age to well into being 4 and 5

It also scares me how many people think 'my child is fine therefore it is safe' - just a TINY but of critical thinking would tell you that doesnt follow. And as for the 13 month old FF with a mother proclaiming 'it's fine'- words fail me.

QueenofmyPrinces · 31/08/2020 18:28

I don't get the 'they were fine FF' and 'lived to tell the tale' comments.

I agree.

My friends 14 month old baby was FF but sadly he wasn’t fine and he didn’t live to tell the tale Sad

My friend told me that no matter what else I did as a parent, never, ever turn a blind eye to car safety.

Nixen · 31/08/2020 18:28

It’s just ignorance to claim you didn’t know extended rear facing is a thing to be honest. Of course it’s a thing, any parent who actually possesses any critical thinking would know this

BubblyBarbara · 31/08/2020 18:32

I can’t even face backwards on the train as an adult, it would make me very car sick and be boring to boot. I can see why some children may be upset by it

BertieBotts · 31/08/2020 18:34

@lockeddownandcrazy

"If you're looking at £25 supermarket seats (not boosters, harnessed seats) because this is genuinely your budget, IMO you'd actually be better off with a second hand seat as long as you do your research and know what you're buying"

That is terrible advice - never ever buy a second hand car seat

Generally yes. If you can afford then absolutely get new. But I would never advise anyone to use a car seat they have bought in a supermarket or the really cheap ones which are for sale online. They tend to break apart when crash tested at 10mph over the legal limit to be approved. A second hand seat from a decent brand, not too old, with all original parts and in good condition is a better bet than that.

Seats don't automatically fall apart when they reach their second owner although there are obviously risks involved in buying second hand.

CatherinedeBourgh · 31/08/2020 18:35

DS2 was in a ff seat with a cushion from 9 months which did better in tasting than most rf seats.

frogswimming · 31/08/2020 18:38

But it's a risk assessment. If you have personal recent (my second eldest is 7) experience with ff at 18 months and this was considered safe and was the only widespread option. Then all of a sudden people are saying it's not safe. This doesn't tally with your personal experience. It's not the same as no seatbelts. It's an apparently tiny increased risk weighed against something that you are familiar and comfortable with. I would be throwing out what I thought were perfectly good car seats.

TingTastic · 31/08/2020 18:42

I have 5 year old twins and one FF / one RF car seat because of the car layout. It’s the RF one that they fight over!

MsEllany · 31/08/2020 18:43

@tiredanddangerous

Rear facing is another one of those things that only happens on mumsnet. In the real world I don't know anyone who rear faces a 2 year old.
Yep me too.

I turned my kids as soon as they were the appropriate age/weight (can’t actually remember). As did every single person I know who had kids the same age. Not saying that people don’t do it but it certainly wasn’t the norm 6-8 years ago when mine were about 2. Even if I’d known about it, we couldn’t have afforded the one option which was over £400 per car seat as we had twins.

@Nixen I’ve got plenty of critical thinking skills, thanks. Here’s the top link when I googled.

For considering forward facing a two year old...
Swipe left for the next trending thread