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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

For considering forward facing a two year old...

287 replies

RowboatsinDisguise · 31/08/2020 13:50

I recently took DS’s ERF car seat out and gave the covers a good scrub and rinse as with potty training (wee only!) and general life debris they were utterly rank. In the meantime we’ve been using a spare group 1 FF seat. I much prefer it! It’s about a million times easier to strap him in (being heavily pregnant this is a massive factor), he’s happier chatting to me and seeing what’s going on, if he starts shouting I can work out why pretty much immediately... it’s just so much more pleasant for both of us!

Is it really so awful to want to keep him FF? I know why ERF is recommended. I’ve seen the crash tests. I know the stats. But I also know that the overall likelihood of being in a crash remains low and that forwards facing seats do still provide protection. I just don’t know what to do now!

OP posts:
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OhToBeASeahorse · 31/08/2020 18:52

@frogswimming - yes, what you THOUGHT was. It's exactly the same as seatbelts, when people were told they needed to wear seatbelts they said they thought it was perfectly safe not to.

Roads are getting busier, crashes are frequent - safety advice updates all the time.

Marilla1966 · 31/08/2020 18:53

Eldest was RF until 4.5 years and current 4 .5 year old still RF. I’ll turn her round when she gets uncomfortable. Spent lots of time researching RF when I needed to get a new car seat for the eldest and decided then to keep it going as long as possible. MIL said I was cruel to keep them RF past 2 years 😩. Couldn’t have cared less as their safety is much more important. However, if you have all the information then ultimately it’s your choice.

BKCRMP · 31/08/2020 18:56

Mine rear faced until 3yr8m but he is bonkers huge.

If God forbid the worst happened and something so simple as remaining ERF could have made it survivable, I wouldn't have been able to live with myself.

Bobojangles · 31/08/2020 18:57

My 4.5year old is comfortably rear facing in the Jolie everystage seat (about £100). It's suitable for rear facing to 18kg and he's only 13kg. All his friends are also still rearfacing.

We have the Jolie 360 too and he used to ask to go FF in that as he knew it spins but he stopped asking as soon as he went into the none spinny seat.

He climbs in himself and is perfectly comfy

Marilla1966 · 31/08/2020 18:57

ICSC (In car safety centre) has a great selection of car seats that can keep them RF for as long as possible and lots of advice.

Newdaynewname1 · 31/08/2020 18:59

Mine were both foreard facing from 9 months. theoretically, ERF is safer. Practically, if a child screams so much they throw up and inhale vomit, it’s definitely unsafe. We were in this category.

KarlKennedysDurianFruit · 31/08/2020 19:06

DS is nearly two and RF his seat swivels so easy to get him in and out, and it should last him until at least four depending on height. DNs both FF (both under 5) because RF is so expensive. DN and SIL drive around in an Audi and a BMW, we have a Skoda and a Ford, I know where I'd rather my money was spent, the crash tests speak for themselves.

I just have a mirror on the headrest so I can see and speak to DS in the rearview mirror, I think it was about £10

Orchidsindoors · 31/08/2020 19:14

OP just do it. Generations of kids were forward facing. Mumsnet often makes me laugh, people will say you are as likely to catch covid as be in acar accident, as if it's something that is very unlikely to happen, but when it comes to car seats, its incredibly likely you will be in a crash (apparently!!,)

Nixen · 31/08/2020 19:16

@MsEllany
Yep, the information is very easily available on google 🙂

For considering forward facing a two year old...
OhToBeASeahorse · 31/08/2020 19:21

@Orchidsindoors no one has said it is likely that you will be in a car crash. What they are saying is that if you are involved in one - god forbid - your toddler is MUCH more likely to be safe in a RF seat

Its quite simple.

ColdTattyWaitingForSummer · 31/08/2020 19:27

I guess it’s the low probability of something serious happening (a serious crash) versus the high probability of minor discomfort (possible travel sickness etc) weighed up with other factors (baby screaming rear facing and distracting driver, harder to get them in and out) and every parent needs to make their own risk assessment (obviously within the law).

Orchidsindoors · 31/08/2020 19:28

"19:21OhToBeASeahorse

@Orchidsindoorsno one has said it is likely that you will be in a car crash. What they are saying is that if you are involved in one - god forbid - your toddler is MUCH more likely to be safe in a RF seat

Its quite simple."

No it's not. Theres been quite a few similar threads about rear facing car seats, and a lot of the posters would have you believe car crash were a very very likely event.

Bubblesbubblesmybubbles · 31/08/2020 19:32

@babs709 'car seat advice uk' on Facebook is a great resource. They have videos on there explaining why people RF longer.

Unfortunately posting is often closed but you will be able to read other peoples questions and understand why we RF longer

Then you can make a decision either way Smile

OhToBeASeahorse · 31/08/2020 19:34

Not on this thread they havent, and if you play the 'it was once said on MN' it would be a long night.

But people saying a car crash is likely are clearly wrong. It still doesnt change the fact that RF IS safer.

Orchidsindoors · 31/08/2020 19:46

Oh to be a seahorse. Its intimated lots. On this thread and on others. Lots of people dont do RF, and its their choice if they dont want to.

FrowningFlamingo · 31/08/2020 19:52

I’m a doctor and rear face my 2yo. As do all but 2 of my 42 friends in a WhatsApp specifically for doctor mums born in the same season of that year.
Just as so many people seem to know nobody who rear faces older children...

JohnLapsleyParlabane · 31/08/2020 19:55

I know the lady who runs rear facing toddlers.
My children (4&1) will both rearface till 25kg. www.rearfacingtoddlers.com/why-rear-facing-is-safer.html

MostlyAmbridgeandcoffee · 31/08/2020 19:56

Our 2 year old FF for all short journeys and RF for long sleeping journeys (it’s a swivel one).

BabyLlamaZen · 31/08/2020 19:57

wow people really put their kids at risk for this? Shocking.

OhToBeASeahorse · 31/08/2020 19:57

Of.course its their choice. Who said it wasnt?

It still doesnt change the fact that its safer. I dont quite understand what you are finding to argue about.

gingganggooleywotsit · 31/08/2020 19:59

I have never ever seen a rear facing toddler or known anyone who does it past the age of one and a half or so. So strange! I will have to keep looking out for that. My son is 4 and a half and has been forward facing for about 3 years

Lovewinemorethanhusband · 31/08/2020 20:00

I have a seat that can rear face until 25kg however my daughter is 15months and is now forward facing, i couldnt stand the screaming, crying making herself sick any longer. All has ceased since ff and she chats happily with me and her siblings on every journey now, school stsrts next week so 4 journeys which will be calm every day ill take thanks

gingganggooleywotsit · 31/08/2020 20:01

Perhaps if you have this swivel seat people are talking about then it's easier.

CandidCandi · 31/08/2020 20:03

I haven’t RTFT OP, but why stop at a rear facing car seats. I’m sure stats support the fact that it’s safer not going in a car at all!!

I’m joking obviously, but my point is that as parents, we take risks with our children every single day. I mean, what sort of life would they have if we kept them completely wrapped up in cotton wool. Like everything, it’s a decision you need to weigh up, taking the benefit and risks into account.

singersarp · 31/08/2020 20:08

We've just turned DD forward facing because at 3.8 she was no longer comfy in her cyber sirona. Personally I wouldn't turn any chins under 2 forward facing. Internal decapitation isn't a risk I'm willing to take and I'd never have forgiven myself if it had happened.