Page 8 | To ask how you get can possibly get married in secret?

Rainbowchampagne · 2020-08-25T06:32:59+00:00

Me and DP would like to get married in our local registry office just us two. They only accommodate this sort of ceremony Monday - Thursday, which means my chosen witnesses wouldn’t be able to come How on earth can you get married in secret if you have no witnesses? I darent do the whole “pulling people off the street” I won’t be having a photographer or anything and even so, that would only be one witness Has anyone done this successfully?

Shiverywinterbottom · 26/08/2020 20:39

Op!! If you’re in South Wales, I’ll happily be your witness 😁😁

SharkBrilliant · 26/08/2020 20:56

I got married as a teenager in Glasgow registry office. We just turned up with no witnesses and had to go to the building next door to ask for two witnesses... apparently it happened quite regularly.

On a side note, we did try to get someone off the street to do it and they said no because we were too young to be getting married 😂

Luddite26 · 26/08/2020 20:56

I did it once with a couple off the street - the first people we asked.
They said they had had 58 years together and hoped that would bring us luck. We were married 14.

beachbaby18 · 26/08/2020 21:05

I am a supplier for elopement weddings in Cornwall.
The couples come to the venue, stay over night (or two), get married with witnesses provided. A nice food hamper, photographer, hair/makeup, florist etc all can be part of the package.
People think you’re having a break away and ask no questions.
I’ve actually worked on seven Elopement weddings in the last nine days.

explodingwatermelon · 26/08/2020 21:24

@Jeeperscreepers69

Because my MIL is a fucking bag. Everything is her way or no way. She had even gone to the extent of planning my wedding for me. I would be wearing her wedding dress, with hair and make up being done by her hair and make up lady, getting married in her church, having the reception at a venue of her choice, with the guest list of her choice (I was to be 'allowed' to have my mum, sister and brother at the wedding and that's all), with the food of her choice, and using a photographer of her choice which would have been all photos of her and her family
No to all of the above. We did it our way, albeit sneaking around so MIL didnt get a sniff of what we were up to. It was fabulous, as are the photos taken on my mother's phone.

This is why we kept it all secret.

Sandiepatterson · 26/08/2020 21:29

There's a beautiful place in Cornwall called Boho weddings I think, the cater for elopements and provide the witnesses.
I have my eye on it - i'd love to elope!!

JammieHands · 26/08/2020 21:36

[quote explodingwatermelon]@Jeeperscreepers69

Because my MIL is a fucking bag. Everything is her way or no way. She had even gone to the extent of planning my wedding for me. I would be wearing her wedding dress, with hair and make up being done by her hair and make up lady, getting married in her church, having the reception at a venue of her choice, with the guest list of her choice (I was to be 'allowed' to have my mum, sister and brother at the wedding and that's all), with the food of her choice, and using a photographer of her choice which would have been all photos of her and her family
No to all of the above. We did it our way, albeit sneaking around so MIL didnt get a sniff of what we were up to. It was fabulous, as are the photos taken on my mother's phone.

This is why we kept it all secret.[/quote]
Same! We sloped in Gibraltar for this very reason and had a blast! We went for a lovely dinner after, had our picture taken at the table, and no-one to this day knows the significance of that photo but us. We had a party a few mknths later and told everyone then. Noone was angry except for MIL 😁

Jack80 · 27/08/2020 09:11

Can they not have an extended lunch or even take the day off work. Or staff in the building maybe your witness.

nicegirl73 · 27/08/2020 09:53

When I was young and married my first husband no one knew as my parents lived too far away (other country) so it felt unfair that only his ones could come (we were young and naive ok lol) and it was great. They grabbed some witnesses from their offices and then we told people after.

westenddweller · 27/08/2020 10:16

@Jeeperscreepers69

Why would you want to keep it secret.......

Because some of us couldn't bear to have impossible in-laws present.

RasberryRoyale · 27/08/2020 10:21

I wanted to do this but I caved to family pressure.
I would love to be a witness!

Walkover3974 · 27/08/2020 10:53

We did this but our witnesses were my mum and mother in law so it wasn't completely secret.
My husband is very shy and doesn't like being the centre of attention. The only way he was willing to get married is if we did it this way.
The registry office here offered midweek weddings for 4 people in their office. The words were the same but it was just a dowdy small office.
We then went for a meal afterwards with about 10 of our family members which was nice. We went home about 4pm and that was it. Had 2 kids to look after as normal. It was absolutely rubbish. I only did it for him. I'm glad we are married. But when my friends and family get married and have a traditional wedding I feel very jealous. We have a few photos and I just feel sadness looking at them.
If your both happy to do it that way then everything will be great but if one of you isn't then I'd advise you to at least have a party or something

ExtremelyBoldSquirrels · 27/08/2020 10:58

@OvertiredandConfused

I was once a witness for a secret MN wedding!

Me too. It was lovely.

Skiddlingmama · 27/08/2020 11:36

I used to work in the office next to the registrars and would regularly be called upon to be witness to a wedding. I always thought it was a lovely honour to have and often wonder what the couples are up to now.

Cottagepieandpeas · 27/08/2020 12:32

@ExtremelyBoldSquirrels @OvertiredandConfused

Me too! I loved it.

SurferRona · 27/08/2020 13:35

We did this. Organised a small family lunch in hotel and after the starters, the registrar came in ('surprise!'), did the deed, then left us to our lunch. We knew two family members would be ok as witnesses even as a surprise so gave their names ahead of time. Worked very well!

FelicisNox · 14/10/2020 18:30

Well, if you live in Bedfordshire and you get married on a Thursday, my DH and I will be your witnesses.

Theoldwrinkley · 14/10/2020 18:55

I got married like this. Hubby got married in his lunch hour from work. One of his friends from work came, and my brother’s girlfriend (at the time) worked in the library next to registry office. I didn’t tell my Mum, but called in to see her afterwards. ‘You look nice today, dear’ she said....highly unusual! ‘Yes Mother, I’ve just got married’. ‘That’s nice. Shall we have a cup of tea?’.
Best decision I ever made. No fuss or commotion. Just how I like it......and (cheapskate that I am.....) not expensive!

GallopingGreen · 14/10/2020 19:00

We did this - the 70 year old security man and a guest waiting for the wedding after us were delighted to oblige!
Apparently the security guard has been witness to many weddings . We slipped him a 20- perk of the job he said!!!

riceuten · 14/10/2020 19:01

Without a proper track and trace system, we are just kicking the tin a little further down the road.

This proposition is mainly driven by fear, rather than anything else. If we do nothing about the former, we will be back where we started from in a couple of weeks after lockdown.

Toomuchtrouble4me · 15/10/2020 01:49

Me, me, pick me!

WeAllHaveWings · 15/10/2020 02:30

You can do at the weekend. We paid the extra for the weekend for guests to attend too but only invited our witnesses.

OwlBeThere · 15/10/2020 02:34

@LakieLady a couple of stoned kids were my witnessss at my wedding. They were dossing about on the beach by my local registry office in shirts and bikinis and it was amazing. We got another passing stranger to take some photos of the 4 of us afterwards having a beer on the sand. I treasure those memories.

Our families know us well and were happy that we got the wedding WE wanted. Because they love us and wanted us to be happy.

eaglejulesk · 15/10/2020 03:24

I see you've already decided to get staff from the venue, but I just want to say I think MN witnesses is such a brilliant idea!

Anyway, best wishes for a lovely day

AlternativePerspective · 15/10/2020 03:26

IME the bigger and more elaborate the wedding the less likely the marriage is to last....

I think all this talk of people being hurt afterwards is just childish on their part. After all, it’s the marriage that is important not the day. And let’s face it, it’s almost impossible to have a wedding where there isn’t some pressure to invite at least someone you don’t want there. Not to mention the cost.

If I ever get married again I intend it to just be a registry office wedding, I might have my DS as a witness but that will be it. I mentioned this to my mum and she said that she wasn’t surprised that couples choose to do this, because otherwise it’s just like flushing money down the drain.