To ask how you get can possibly get married in secret?

[Rainbowchampagne]

Me and DP would like to get married in our local registry office just us two.

They only accommodate this sort of ceremony Monday - Thursday, which means my chosen witnesses wouldn’t be able to come

How on earth can you get married in secret if you have no witnesses? I darent do the whole “pulling people off the street”

I won’t be having a photographer or anything and even so, that would only be one witness

Has anyone done this successfully?

We did it too. Although did have a photographer , who then asked her mum to be second witness. It was fab. Just what we wanted

Albeit not a lot of notice mind but that is us the way we wanted it for various reasons.

They have limited availability due to Covid and are fully booked Oct half term and I can’t do Xmas because of my work.

I called and I can use their back office workers thank you to those who advised that! Had no idea it would be a thing!

Lovely to here the stories that loved it! My friends and family really won’t mind, I already asked my own mum ages ago and she said she wished she had eloped! But I wouldn’t want anyone to feel left out because we chose so and so instead of so and so!

I have two sets of couple friends who did this but they both invited direct family only ie parents and siblings but no one else. And didn’t tell anyone until after the event. That way nobody can really be too offended, it’s a very clear nuclear family boundary. Ok, I’m sure some people were offended (grandparents...) but it’s a very clear boundary. Might that be an option if you don’t want a big fuss? And you just give them a week or two notice, or even a day or two if you know they can get the time off, so they also can’t make a big fuss and tell others? Certainly none of my friends’ families spilled the beans until afterwards that I’m aware of.

If you’re in jersey I’ll do it!

Definitely as on MN. It never goes badly from what I can tell - there are queues of people all over the country!

@scubadive because not everyone sees marriage as having to be a huge event that includes family, friends and whoever else and see it as intimate and just about them. Also people gets married for all sorts of reasons eg financial, security, kids etc and it is red tape to some.

Me! Told no one. We in Gretna Green and told the venue the day before that we had no witnesses. The arranged and old couple for us, and they loved it!

Went shopping that afternoon and bought them nice chocolates and wine as a thanks

My aunt and uncle married in 'secret' recently. The registry office were able to provide two members of staff as witnesses for a small fee.

They said it was their perfect day. Having both being widowed they didn't want any fuss.

I used to work next door to a registry office and was a witness for a few weddings. It always felt very exciting!

We got married in New York and had a random person as our witness. It was wonderful!

If you’re in S/W Yorks, I’ll try and do it!! There was an MN witness shout it for a town near me a few years ago, but I couldn’t get out of a meeting.

Good Luck OP.
You could contact the Registry Office and ask to be put on a list for cancellations if you want to wait until Oct? We got married on my birthday, so DH only has one "important" date to forget

Also there is no rule that the family doesn’t need to know beforehand. Mine knew.

If family and friends know about the wedding wouldnt it be considered private instead of secret? I'm taking secret wedding to mean that nobody (besides whitneses and whoever legally has to know) knows about it.

I did this. The only people who knew we were getting married were the witnesses (people who I didn't really know at the time but who I'd now class as friends).

It was utterly perfect.

@rewis it seems to me that the families of those having secret weddings may be the kind to get upset about it or want a big wedding to go to maybe hence not knowing in advance. We didn’t tell anybody only parents. I think if people get upset about it afterwards it says more about them.

Why are you doing it secretly?

@theemmadilemma

Use MN for witnesses. Wouldn't be the first time!

This - or ask if they can provide witnesses. You won't be the first - my sister and her husband did this. Just went out one day and got married - no-one knew until it was a done deed.

They'd been together about three years. She wasn't pregnant or anything like that so no need for a rush job, or avoiding parental wrath (This was 40+ years ago) - it was just what they wanted.

I hope you have a lovely wedding day, whatever you decide to do.

Don't worry about some of the comments, you'll have no shortage of volunteers if you ask on here!

Do what makes you (both) happy!💕

Although OP has now indicated that she has a mother living, it is also OK for people to get married even if they are orphans, at least in my opinion. Dead people do not make acceptable legal witnesses.

Caution that is sad that you didn't even get the afternoon off to go for lunch or something with your DH. Has the marriage made up for the lack of wedding?

My Aunt and Uncle got a random retired couple off the street many years ago. Its probably easier to do in a busy city. I know others who told trusted witnesses had wedding and told the remaining family about it later.

Is there a reason you want a secret wedding?

@Yesterdayforgotten I wasn't voicing an opinion regarding secret weddings. Just about the terminology if it really is considered to be a secret or private if other people know about it. But there was an earlier thread about the concept of buffet so I guess we can interpret words differently

We didnt invite anyone to our wedding. It was just a quiet affair at the mosque and when we arrived we just asked the iman/leader of the mosque for a witness. An old man who was in praying was happy to be part of our wedding and even provided fruit as a present at the end lol

We told our witnesses, they took the afternoon off (we married late in the afternoon). One of them was a secondary school teacher. His boss was fine with him taking 2 hours off for this.

@OvertiredandConfused

I was once a witness for a secret MN wedding!

Jealous