To ask how you get can possibly get married in secret?

[Rainbowchampagne]

Me and DP would like to get married in our local registry office just us two.

They only accommodate this sort of ceremony Monday - Thursday, which means my chosen witnesses wouldn’t be able to come

How on earth can you get married in secret if you have no witnesses? I darent do the whole “pulling people off the street”

I won’t be having a photographer or anything and even so, that would only be one witness

Has anyone done this successfully?

Where are you based op? Ask a local mumsnetter.

Witnesses off the street wouldn't work in this area -our registrars office is a stunning house set in beautiful gardens that was willed to the community for this purpose. The problem is, due to its location, there really isn't a lot of passing foot traffic. I think that if your chosen witnesses really can't be present Mon - Thurs, you either have to switch to another location or choose new witnesses.

We got married at a country hotel (some now do ‘just us’ weddings) and the hotel staff were witnesses. This is a possibility unless you have your heart set on the registry office.

Why can’t your chosen witnesses come? Are they in occupations where they can’t chose their time off eg: teaching? Is it childcare (could the child come?).

DM was a witness to a secret wedding. She knew about it a couple of months in advance and didn’t breathe a word. It was very good, very long-standing family friends getting married. I’m not sure she’d even left the register office before she was on the phone though!

Just ask the registry office. They'll be able to advise.

I will definitely ask the registry office! It’s in a quiet place so not many people traffic and it’s quite a lot of time they would have to give up. I imagine most people walking around have somewhere to be and wouldn’t want to chance it (although I would LOVE to be asked, I like the idea of other people’s weddings I’m just not that fussed to be honest)

My chosen witnesses are teachers so I’d have to wait until next February at least which is possible I suppose. I chose them because they don’t know any of our other friends or family so no one could be jealous or feel left out

I could ask on here but given some of the reactions, not sure how that would go down either

Thanks for the helpful suggestions! Might just have a full blown wedding and invite everyone at this point. What’s really annoying is I know all our friends and family would be really happy for us and wouldn’t care, providing they couldn’t feel left out.

I just really don’t want a fuss 🤷‍♀️

I'd be a witness for you OP! If you're in Surrey, let me know

Just ask the register office, they'll help.

Don't have a huge wedding you don't want because you're too scared to phone and ask if they can provide witnesses.

Did you know that you can ask MNetters?

Both new and over have done it.

You post on here the area you live in and the date you are getting married, then private message those who say they live in your area. 2 MNetters turn up to witness your wedding. It was a really big thing years ago, l seem to recall lots of people doing it. No one was ever near me though.

Could you go for October during half term or Christmas?

Or during the next week!

@NewAndImprovedNorks

I tell this story a LOT

I was a witness for a Local mumsnetter I didn’t know.
Even today I can’t remember her name (sorry)
Two of us rocked up, gave And received presents, signed the register, had a photo, had a little weep, kissed the bride and buggered off.
It was VERY touching and romantic

Yes I was a witness for someone local who had posted on a wedding planning forum asking for witnesses and had a very similar experience! It was one of the most touching weddings I've been to, and I got a mini bottle of fizz and some fancy biscuits to say thanks! Hugs and kisses all round afterwards, I felt privileged to have been involved in something so special.

Though I’d do it if local!

'I darent do the whole “pulling people off the street”

Live a little... you never know it could be fun!
Also how do you bot offend family bu picking just 2 witnesses? Sometimes strangers is the best and fairest option! Not all registry offices will provide witnesses and even if they will try help on the day it isn't guaranteed so you would have to be prepared to grab people off the street (willing participants obviously)

We eloped and had two of the staff members as witnesses. We had asked weeks in advance if they would do this for us and we checked with the registrar in advance that this was allowed.
We got married at a hotel and the registrar came to us. It was a bit like a normal wedding but with no guests

not offend by picking

There’s no such thing as a “registry office”. It is a “register office”, or a “registration office”. If you’re going to do it, at least know what you’re doing.

Please say you want a Mumsnetter and please say it’s near me. Must go, need to choose an outfit for a Top Secret Occasion 😀

Do your chosen witnesses work at the same school? You could approach the head and (depending where the school(s) is/ are) have them leave for an hour or so - time it with an assembly or the end of the school day.

What subjects do they teach, could this be worked into a school trip? Obviously you would then have a class of kids attending.

I don't think most people feel the need to get married in secret, so it's probably not an issue.

Oh for goodness sake, it's not a 'need' it's a 'want'. Lots of people do it. Don't be so negative about people's choices.

But it’s not secret if you’ve told your chosen witnesses.

I told mine becaue i had to. My wedding was still very much a secret outside of the 4 of us.

We had to name our witnesses in the wedding application (3 weeks before minimum I think) so could not have taken witnesses from the street. We each asked a friend, one booked a days leave and the other was off that day anyway.

Can you actually just pull people off for street in England? I know when I got married when we applied for our license (in Scotland) we had to give details of our witnesses.

My husband and I got married in secret 2 years ago as we didn't want any of the fuss. We got married at a beautiful little cottage in Wales that specialised in 'runaway weddings'. The owners acted as the witnesses and it was a truly wonderful and romantic day, and we told everyone when we got back home. Everyone was really pleased for us, and so many people have since said that they wished they had done that rather than go through all the fuss and stress.

I think you can someone who works there. Not think that you are the first and unique. It's not an everyday situation but sometimes happens. Sure they want to help you get married and it's gonna be your perfect wedding.

@MaskingForIt oh shush.

Ok me too! I am hoping you're in Oxon... 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍 pleeeeeeeeeease. I've never even been a bridesmaid 💔

Yes you can @Laaalaaaa it is perfectly legal and the witnesses just fill in their own details there. The registrar just say that if you dont get any on the day they arent responsible but it is very rare not to find anybody esp if you are in the middle of a busy town.