To ask how you get can possibly get married in secret?

[Rainbowchampagne]

Me and DP would like to get married in our local registry office just us two.

They only accommodate this sort of ceremony Monday - Thursday, which means my chosen witnesses wouldn’t be able to come

How on earth can you get married in secret if you have no witnesses? I darent do the whole “pulling people off the street”

I won’t be having a photographer or anything and even so, that would only be one witness

Has anyone done this successfully?

My dad married my step mum in secret. They went for a holiday in Yorkshire havi g pre booked a registry office, went to the nearest pub at lunch tomeand asked the landlord to find them 2 people to witness their wedding which took all of 5 minutes, then they had lunch with the witnesses and got married at 2pm. First I knew of it was when they phoned me up to say they were married.

Ooh I want to be a witness for an MN wedding! Herts/Essex border. I'm available for bookings now.

My cousin got married in secret - just couldn't face being the first of her generation in a huge Irish family to marry with all the palaver. Everyone was still happy for them because it wasn't like there wouldn't still be plenty of big weddings including three younger siblings.

They're still married and close to family 20 years on. Her husband is a knob but she likes him.

We eloped and had a Mumsnet witness (we had one friend locally so just needed another), it was lovely and we're still in touch now.

@BikeRunSki. Hello! I think it's me you were waving at! Still married

@Robino - your name sounds familiar, I think it was you. Lovely to hear that you are still married!

Two of my DIL's are on the books of an agency that supplies witnesses for weddings.
There a lot of folks around who like to do the "legal" bit so they can have an alternative ceremony

If you're in south Wiltshire, I'll do it!

I thought that one stipulation of a wedding, in the UK at least, is that you can't do it in secret. It is a public event and has to be advertised several weeks in advance so that anyone can attend if they want to.

@Yesterdayforgotten I can't speak for others but both our sets of parents were genuinely happy. It was my second marriage, DHs first. They were happy because we were happy..... Isn't that what family do?

@Bwlch

I thought that one stipulation of a wedding, in the UK at least, is that you can't do it in secret. It is a public event and has to be advertised several weeks in advance so that anyone can attend if they want to.

It certainly used to be that way that the Banns were in the Registry Office window and read out in Church if it was to be a church wedding.

But really who the heck stops to read the Registry Office window? Other than me when I was a nosy teenager and happened to be walking past it. They moved our local office to an old house with a garden. As opposed to what was a shop on the main street. I can't imagine anyone would wander up the drive to read it.

@Hoppymclimpy exactly any decent family would be happy for the couple and I hate when others make YOUR wedding about THEM. You would think it wastheir wedding lol.

@Rewis yes definitely 😀

My daughter did this. I was summoned to London (I'm a widow) to meet her fiances mu and step-dad. All good. I been in their air BNB for 10 minutes when son-in-law announced that they were getting married in Hackney Town Hall in 20 minutes. Phew!

They had taken her best friend into their confidence. It was a lovely little ceremony and his mum and I were witnesses.

But it reallly did upset so many of both families Which is possibly a consideration

I’d like to get married again just to have some Mumsnet witnesses

What's the latest time they will do a wedding? If its 5 then teacher could leave straight from school

I did this- sort of.

DH and I had arranged to go out for a meal with my mother, sister and some close friends. Celebrating my birthday and all of that. Except we chose a restaurant next to the registry office and asked our guests if they wouldnt mind hanging around afterwards to watch us get married.

My MIL is as toxic as they come, and the rest of DH's family arent much better. If there would have been a sniff of wedding she would have turned it into an 'all about me and my family' show. I dont want a big wedding wearing her white meringue wedding dress, at a wedding she had already planned including the venue, guest list and food. DH wanted to do it on his terms, so it was actually his suggestion to have a secret wedding.
And the fall out afterwards when we showed her the pictures, including the one where I got married in jeans confirmed why we had done it in the first place.

@scubadive

It’s very hurtful not to invite your parents. Why do that to them if you have an ok relationship?

This is just your perception. My parents were absolutely delighted for us, as were his. Neither side met if parents are selfish enough to make our day about them though, so I guess that helped.

I will do it if local. I have time on my hands and am not a weirdo (well not in a bad way anyway )

People's reactions are different. I'm sure OP knows her parents.

My MIL got Married in relative secret. Took my SIL as a witness but told my husband after the event. He wasn't in the slightest put out by that b

I got married in secret. Only told my sister and husbands grandparents just for witnesses. Also because I went to the county my sister lives in to get married and I wouldn't lie to her (we're very close)
We organised an evening reception at a pub, invited family and friends under the pretence of having a catch up and dinner...surprise we got married! Just laid out a buffet and cake. Was the most chill wedding ever and I'd do it in a heartbeat again. Got married, nice chilled lunch with my sister, grandparents in law and new hubby. Went home for an afternoon nap then to the pub. Was awesome!

should have added my mum had previously got married in secret to stepdad. They waited until 2 of the 4 kids were over 18 and got hitched with only them and the 4 DC (me included) How you get married is no one elses business quite frankly...

We got married 'in secret' .. register office with a friend each as witnesses , pub lunch , hotel overnight .. told both lots of parents on the way home the next day (and also told them I was five months pregnant ) .. it was great

Where I live they are called Register Offices,Online Oxford Dictionary, says Register noun official lists for example Births,Marriages,Death.Registrar, official who does the registering.

I live near a registry office in a nice location and I definitely dawdle when I walk past, in the hope of being dragged in. Just in case anyone else is reading who wants to give it a try!