Reported to Housing Association

[GrumpyOldFart]

Moved into a block of Housing Association flats around a year ago due to disability requirements. We have a neighbour on the same floor who at the time said she sees everything and knows everything.

Her attitude changed earlier this year when she claimed there was an unpleasant smell from our flat (we have diffusers in the living room and hallway, and also an odour neutraliser in the kitchen and hallway. We hoover/sweep bi-daily and mop kitchen once a week.

She grabbed me a couple of months ago to tell me she had reported us to the HA for the smell, and because we don't answer the door to deliveries and dislikes the knocking on the door (I am predominantly bed-bound and have erratic sleep patterns due to disability and DP doesn't answer the door because of medical conditions).

Now the neighbour has started banging on the windows whilst calling my name and telling me there's a parcel by the door, that my partner isn't living here, that my car alarm was going off.

Except my partner IS very much living here, and my car alarm 110% wasn't going off (DP was in the front room and would have heard it. The alarm is also disabled between certain hours, including when she claimed it was going off). These incidents have been reported also. She also reported me to Social Services for "needing help".

I'd tell her to piss off but this would just antagonise the situation but it's getting truly ridiculous. I could complain about her to the HA, but she would obviously know it was me.

Any ideas would be great...

AIBU/AINBU to tell her to piss off/report her.

Op I've read this thread in disbelief at the the personal attacks and disability discrimination you've been subjected to.
This thread has exposed some posters for everything that is unpleasant about MN.
I'm disabled and have pets, including a dog which in some people's tiny minds makes me as bad as you.

Message to people who aren't disabled and don't understand.

You don't know what someone goes through on a daily basis, how much pain they have to deal with or what it's like to be so fatigued that you go to bed when the sun is shining and birds are singing. You don't know how the OP's conditions and medication affect her so don't make assumptions about her life. Some of you jumped on the fact that she owns a dog and assumed that the dog isn't cared for properly instead of asking nicely how she cares for the dog. MN allows your posts to go unchecked and unchallenged which makes them as bad as you.
MN has a reputation for being a nasty unpleasant place full of aggressive posters who get a weird sort of satisfaction from being unkind, rude and judgemental, troll hunters are allowed to pile onto threads as if it's some kind of sport, it's why I rarely come here now.

@CharlieTangoBanana

Op I've read this thread in disbelief at the the personal attacks and disability discrimination you've been subjected to. This thread has exposed some posters for everything that is unpleasant about MN. I'm disabled and have pets, including a dog which in some people's tiny minds makes me as bad as you.

Message to people who aren't disabled and don't understand.

You don't know what someone goes through on a daily basis, how much pain they have to deal with or what it's like to be so fatigued that you go to bed when the sun is shining and birds are singing. You don't know how the OP's conditions and medication affect her so don't make assumptions about her life. Some of you jumped on the fact that she owns a dog and assumed that the dog isn't cared for properly instead of asking nicely how she cares for the dog. MN allows your posts to go unchecked and unchallenged which makes them as bad as you.
MN has a reputation for being a nasty unpleasant place full of aggressive posters who get a weird sort of satisfaction from being unkind, rude and judgemental, troll hunters are allowed to pile onto threads as if it's some kind of sport, it's why I rarely come here now.

All of this. The lack of understanding and the negative assumptions about disabled people are horrifying. Many posters on here need educating and should be ashamed. I have a 17yo DD with invisible disabilities and chronic pain and this thread has left me appalled to think of the judgement she will face in life.

Hope this doesn't come across as a personal attack, I'm just struggling to understand how the flat is kept clean, the dog is let out when it needs (which would be often) and the poop is picked up regularly when you're bed bound and can't get to the door. Would it not make more sense to pick a safe place (locker, drop point etc) instead of 2/3 times a week having delivery drivers banging on the door and then leaving parcels all over the place.

As you say, you can take your time getting to the car so a once a week trip for the parcels would make more sense than the knocking/banging.

As for the smell... the dog? The diffusers? I have asthma and am very sensitive to strong smells, especially chemically ones. Unidentified strong smells are really annoying

Oh dear. What a shame. This is the OPs home. If she enjoys oil diffusers in her home then that's her choice. She didn't ask your opinion on strong smells.

Not being mean... but you claim to do a whole lot of cleaning for a couple who are disabled, and one apparently bed-bound...

Of course you are being "mean". Well no, mean is a silly trivial word used to describe children's behaviour. You have very deliberately used the word claim and the word apparently in that hideous little sentence of yours. Basically implying the OP is lieing.

The rampant disabilism on MN is genuinely disgusting. I hope all of the vile posts on this thread remain here, so that we can see what some of you people really are.

If posters are complaining about other people making assumptions, perhaps stop making your own assumptions that OP is female and the DP male?

Of course they may well be, but it's quite telling...

Wow, people are nasty!!

OP came her for advice, not to be questioned about every detail of her life. There's clearly a difference between getting out of bed in her own time and getting out of the flat, to trying to get up in time to answer the door.

As for diffusers being toxic to animals - some oils are, some are not. We have pets and use s diffuser, we check carefully before using any oils and do our research to make sure the ones we use are safe. I'm sure OP has done the same.

for you OP.

Hi OP, I feel disappointed and disgusted at many responses you have had, please try to log your nut job neighbour's behaviour for the future x keep on keeping on you sound like a great neighbour and in so sorry people have been downright unpleasant in their posts. I love essential oil diffusers and am also an ex courier who was more than happy to leave parcels in customers designated safe place 🌷

@FuckBubbleOrBubbleFuck and your point is...........

What a depressing thread, not sure why people feel the need to be so rude under the guise to trying to help the OP. All these OTT comments on the diffusers etc and picking imaginary holes in the posts.

OP you sound very considerate and are trying your best, it's probably time for you to complain about her.

The OP would've probably had completely different answers if she hadn't mentioned the diffusers as MN seems to hate them.

I like them FWIW

[quote CharlieTangoBanana]@FuckBubbleOrBubbleFuck and your point is...........[/quote]
Oh I'm not making a point in some kind of gotcha way or anything, it just jarred slightly that people were complaining about assumptions being made...whilst making certain assumptions themselves I'm only idly musing really, I do think I've read an extraordinarily similar thread before and maybe that rang a bell but OP says it wasn't them. (Sorry to third person you there grumpy!)

WTF happened to my bolding there?! Gah.