Reported to Housing Association

[GrumpyOldFart]

Moved into a block of Housing Association flats around a year ago due to disability requirements. We have a neighbour on the same floor who at the time said she sees everything and knows everything.

Her attitude changed earlier this year when she claimed there was an unpleasant smell from our flat (we have diffusers in the living room and hallway, and also an odour neutraliser in the kitchen and hallway. We hoover/sweep bi-daily and mop kitchen once a week.

She grabbed me a couple of months ago to tell me she had reported us to the HA for the smell, and because we don't answer the door to deliveries and dislikes the knocking on the door (I am predominantly bed-bound and have erratic sleep patterns due to disability and DP doesn't answer the door because of medical conditions).

Now the neighbour has started banging on the windows whilst calling my name and telling me there's a parcel by the door, that my partner isn't living here, that my car alarm was going off.

Except my partner IS very much living here, and my car alarm 110% wasn't going off (DP was in the front room and would have heard it. The alarm is also disabled between certain hours, including when she claimed it was going off). These incidents have been reported also. She also reported me to Social Services for "needing help".

I'd tell her to piss off but this would just antagonise the situation but it's getting truly ridiculous. I could complain about her to the HA, but she would obviously know it was me.

Any ideas would be great...

AIBU/AINBU to tell her to piss off/report her.

OP, you have two diffusers and two odour neutralizers in a small flat. You obviously believe you have an odour problem!

The car alarm has a problem and is going off.

Neither you or your partner answer the door to take in parcels.

Just except the fact that you're being anti social and get your head around sorting it out.

Pardon the pun OP but something about all this smells a bit off and I don’t mean the bolshy neighbour.

Why can’t you answer questions about the dog and precisely whom is taking care of its quite considerable needs?

How can you clean and mop butt no answer the doorMiddle to being bed bound?

I'd suggest you get parcels delivered elsewhere if delivery people are banging on your door that often. Most of the big mail order companies have pick-up points.

Could it be the smell of all the diffusers etc that she is objecting to?

I mean, we've even tried different scents in the diffuser, we use a scented powder once a week, and use carpet cleaner every three months.

Have you considered that this is the smell she is referring to?

Answer the door for your deliveries or put on a safe space for them to be put in and then there will.be no excuse for her calling round. Ask her what the smell.is

Definitely keep a log, have a think about when it started and going forward light incidents with time and date, include anything she or visitors do such as late night visitors and the cannabis smoking just to cover yourself.
As the HS officer hasn't visited you in four months the chances are you are not the only person/ tenants she has made complaints about so the HS probably have an idea that the issue is with her, shes probably a serial complainer.
Protect yourself with your log and dont engage with her, use the grey rock technique, you dont answer to her, you dont need to engage

Try not using the diffuser for a while and see if that is the issue. I am very allergic to scents like that and have had serious asthma attacks because of it. I live in a HA building and the cleaning crew had to change the products they were using in the hallways as I couldn't breathe properly for 48 hours every time they came.

Are you the poster whose dog shits and wees in your flat? That's a very distressing way for a dog to live. Apologies if its someone else.

You said you were given the flat on disability grounds, has the property any adaptations? When SS rang did they discuss an OT assessment?

Who takes your dog out for its ablutions if both you and your partner are disabled? If no one, perhaps that’s the smell.

I don't see how you're equating the use of air diffusers with a smell, do you not want your home to have a pleasant smell?

Many people don't like a 'perfumed' environment. I don't. In fact, I think those diffusers smell vile. It is possible she doesn't like them either, especially if the smell leaks out of your flat. Does your dog really smell strong enough that you need a perfume on top?

With regard to your home deliveries, you can put 'be patient' on your delivery instructions. I do that for my mum.

If you have a dog cooped up in the flat and it’s forced to defecate and urinate inside that is not only a hygiene issue for everyone in the vicinity but also animal abuse and neglect.
If I knew there was someone with a dog doing this indoors all day and never being walked I would definitely report them.

Put on your delivery instructions that you take a while to open the door but you are in so don't bang loudly.

Complain online to your housing association about the weed smell and that she bangs on your windows and doors which you find distressing because you are disabled with mobility issues.

When her complaints are investigated ask what the smell is and inform them that you take a while to get packages because you are disabled.

If your DP has medical problems that stop him answering the door who walks your dog?

Merry if the OP has a car then I assume they can take the dog out. Although the OP hasn't confirmed there is a dog. So who knows?

@bookmum08

Merry if the OP has a car then I assume they can take the dog out. Although the OP hasn't confirmed there is a dog. So who knows?

But are the inconsistencies not bothering you?

Can’t answer the door and can’t mop more than once a week but can sweep twice a day.

No smells but an abundance of diffusers and deodorisers.

No mention of carers even though bed bound.

Complaints about an alarm which cannot possibly be going off but the alarm is faulty.

It’s all just a bit strange.

I thought the OP said she used odour neutralisers and diffusers to avoid any dog smell ?

Reading between the lines; this is a very disabled, non-mobile couple who probably have a dog and there is almost certainly a smell of dirty house and dog mess permeating the locale. They don't like interacting with strangers and don't open their door to people. there are things they could do to cause less irritation to the neighbours - bearing in mind the neighbours pot smoking son's smell wafts in to their home - perhaps they don't realise how much their own smell is noticeable within the nearby homes/landings/communal areas too. So, 1. sort out the packages. Put a sign on the door telling the delivery man to leave them on the doorstep and reassuring your neighbour you'll get there, it just takes time. BTW, if your DP is mobile, then he/she should be collecting packages from the door instead of waiting for you to get up to do it. I realise people have problems but you've said you're practically bedridden so he needs to pick up a bit of the weight. 2. Address the smell. If it's dog crap, then put the dog to a better home. Sometimes love just isn't enough and a pet has other needs. 3. Get a home help. Your medical issues should qualify you for a cleaner at the very least and I don't care if your DP doesn't like people coming in. Once the house looks better they won't mind so much.

You have a dog but can’t open the door?

The dog will bee to go out at least 4 times a day including 2 decent walks but you can only go out occasionally to get parcels?

@ShiveringCoyote

Are you the poster whose dog shits and wees in your flat? That's a very distressing way for a dog to live. Apologies if its someone else.

Sorry can't reply much at her moment as at hospital for an appointment.

No, that wasn't me. Our daughter has the dog most of the time. The dog goes out the back (large grassed area) for walk and toileting. And yes, I do pick it up.

She never says. I mean, we've even tried different scents in the diffuser, we use a scented powder once a week, and use carpet cleaner every three months.

could the issue be the smell from all the scents you are using? I have a friend who uses them and it's overwhelming I find. But I couldn't imagine it is so strong as to seep into their flat.

sweep twice a day

Sorry, by bi-daily I meant every other day, bit twice a day. Apologies for not being clear.

Complaints about an alarm which cannot possibly be going off but the alarm is faulty.

No, I said a sensor is faulty, which is why I disable the whole alarm. If the alarm is disabled so are the motion sensors.

No, no carers because we cannot afford any, and our local SS is stretched far beyond their available budget.