Reported to Housing Association

[GrumpyOldFart]

Moved into a block of Housing Association flats around a year ago due to disability requirements. We have a neighbour on the same floor who at the time said she sees everything and knows everything.

Her attitude changed earlier this year when she claimed there was an unpleasant smell from our flat (we have diffusers in the living room and hallway, and also an odour neutraliser in the kitchen and hallway. We hoover/sweep bi-daily and mop kitchen once a week.

She grabbed me a couple of months ago to tell me she had reported us to the HA for the smell, and because we don't answer the door to deliveries and dislikes the knocking on the door (I am predominantly bed-bound and have erratic sleep patterns due to disability and DP doesn't answer the door because of medical conditions).

Now the neighbour has started banging on the windows whilst calling my name and telling me there's a parcel by the door, that my partner isn't living here, that my car alarm was going off.

Except my partner IS very much living here, and my car alarm 110% wasn't going off (DP was in the front room and would have heard it. The alarm is also disabled between certain hours, including when she claimed it was going off). These incidents have been reported also. She also reported me to Social Services for "needing help".

I'd tell her to piss off but this would just antagonise the situation but it's getting truly ridiculous. I could complain about her to the HA, but she would obviously know it was me.

Any ideas would be great...

AIBU/AINBU to tell her to piss off/report her.

Do you often order parcels knowing neither of you are likely to answer the door to receive them? If so I can see why that would annoy her when she knows you’re in, would be better to get them delivered to a safe place instead of expecting the neighbours to keep taking them in for you.

We order items for delivery between two and three times a week. We detail they can be left by the front door too, this is usually adhered to but some people decided to knock on the door repeatedly instead.

We have to use deliveries as due to disabilities we are unable to get out much.

She doesn't, and never has, taken parcels in for us, and we have never asked her to.

As I explained my sleep patterns are erratic and it can take me several minutes to get to the door, so even if I'm awake with the very best intentions I've missed the driver by the time I get to the door.

how are the deliveries impacting on others?

She dislikes the knocking on our door.

do you take the rubbish out every day?

Yes of course.

Sorry this might be a bit off topic but why do you have a dog?
Does someone else walk it?

Please give her no more time op.
put it behind you.

• perhaps you need to mop more regularly? otoh how do you know she has complained?*

Not possible to mop more regularly.

She told me about the report to HA, and SS indicated who the report was from, and mentioned certain details that only this neighbour would be aware of.

You have a dog? How do you take it out to toilet and walks?

i do think you could report her for her behaviour.

Ffs, what a ridiculous idea that you’re trying to cover up a smell because you use diffusers etc.

You need to report her for bullying and for the cannabis. Maybe offer her some Febreze to cover up that smell.

Seriously, don’t be a walkover otherwise she will make your life a misery.

She sounds unhinged-
I doubt there’s a smell- and I recon the HA will confirm she may have been like this to other neighbours. Don’t engage with crazy

Definitely report the weed smoking at least.

If you're worried about dog smell, then I would assume you have a dog? If you are unable to get out to walk it sufficiently and take it to the toilet, then that will cause a smell. Likewise bathing and brushing teeth are necessary to stop a dog smelling.

You say your diagnoses are psychological/psychiatric, but also that you are primarily "bedbound".

If you are physically unable to get out of bed most of the time, then you probably should have at home help.

You say your diagnoses are psychological/psychiatric, but also that you are primarily "bedbound".

I also have physical dx's. Hence being stuck in bed.

Sorry OP but there obviously is a strong smell coming from your flat - otherwise why take so many odour masking measures?

Likewise your car alarm. If it wasn't going off all the time then why do you turn it off during certain hours?

I reckon your neighbour has a legitimate reasons to be annoyed with you.

Does the dog ever wee and poo in the flat ? You can quickly become nose blind to smells , our old dog occasionally did a wee in the lounge and I thought the cleaning got rid of the smell , until I went on holiday and came back and opened the door and realised you could still smell it.

If it's the knocking of your door she gets annoyed at then the big laminated sign I suggested earlier should say
"Dear Delivery Person
Person with mobility issues lives here and cannot answer the door.
Please leave package on the door step and do not knock.
Please do not leave with any neighbours.
Thank You"

I’m sorry OP but I find the idea that a bed bound person with a disabled partner has a dog, can’t answer the door, but can sweep twice a day very odd and somewhat contradictory.

Do you have carers?

Merry maybe it's an emotional support dog. I have read it that the OP is bed bound not her partner. Maybe the partner does the mopping. The OP mentioned people frequently visiting - maybe that's the carers or family and friends who come to help.

Also, the house I bought smelled utterly unbelievable on the day I moved in. Smoke and pet smells. I couldn’t believe someone actually lived there like that. The vendors obviously didn’t realise but it was enough to make me cry.

I find the idea someone complaining so vociferously about a smell that doesn’t exist a bit strange. There would be zero benefit? If their complaint was taken seriously someone would come out and there’d be no smell - The End.

Are you sure you’re being realistic about your home arrangement?

Likewise your car alarm. If it wasn't going off all the time then why do you turn it off during certain hours?

There's an issue with one of the motion sensors. As soon as I found the problem (months ago) I have been disabling the alarm to prevent it going off. It's going in for repair but delayed due to Covid so in the meantime I disable the alarm to prevent it annoying anybody.

I don't see how you're equating the use of air diffusers with a smell, do you not want your home to have a pleasant smell?

Who walks and toilets the dog? Why aren't you answering this one?

@bookmum08

Merry maybe it's an emotional support dog. I have read it that the OP is bed bound not her partner. Maybe the partner does the mopping. The OP mentioned people frequently visiting - maybe that's the carers or family and friends who come to help.

Yes, I understand that.

But if you aren’t able to get out much then having a dog seems Ill-advised?

i dont have diffusers

the question people are asking about the diffusers isn't the smell of the diffusers but why are you using them in the first place?
Your neighbour sounds unpleasant so I don't really get your reluctance to go to the HA about it. How much worse can it get? You should deffo mention the cannabis smoking too.

Hang on - have you posted before? Are you the disabled poster whose dog shits in the house? Apologies if not. But if you are, there probably is a smell.