Reported to Housing Association

[GrumpyOldFart]

Moved into a block of Housing Association flats around a year ago due to disability requirements. We have a neighbour on the same floor who at the time said she sees everything and knows everything.

Her attitude changed earlier this year when she claimed there was an unpleasant smell from our flat (we have diffusers in the living room and hallway, and also an odour neutraliser in the kitchen and hallway. We hoover/sweep bi-daily and mop kitchen once a week.

She grabbed me a couple of months ago to tell me she had reported us to the HA for the smell, and because we don't answer the door to deliveries and dislikes the knocking on the door (I am predominantly bed-bound and have erratic sleep patterns due to disability and DP doesn't answer the door because of medical conditions).

Now the neighbour has started banging on the windows whilst calling my name and telling me there's a parcel by the door, that my partner isn't living here, that my car alarm was going off.

Except my partner IS very much living here, and my car alarm 110% wasn't going off (DP was in the front room and would have heard it. The alarm is also disabled between certain hours, including when she claimed it was going off). These incidents have been reported also. She also reported me to Social Services for "needing help".

I'd tell her to piss off but this would just antagonise the situation but it's getting truly ridiculous. I could complain about her to the HA, but she would obviously know it was me.

Any ideas would be great...

AIBU/AINBU to tell her to piss off/report her.

Seconded Bartender and well said.
Poor OP has given a massive debrief already yet knobs are still posting sneery, bitchy comments.

OP, when did you or your DP last have a social care assessment?

Regardless of whether they are over budget (and they always are) the local authorities still have an obligation to provide support for a person who is is unable to get out of bed most of the time, living with a person who is severely sight impaired.

They aren't allowed to say "sorry, spent the money so you can't have any help." If you meet the requirements for social care then they provide you with care--generally by raising taxes and going into debt.

Certain pp's are very full on with their assumptions. At least read the OP's posts before bailing in headfirst with accusations.

There are plenty of things you can do if you can’t see, I know, I’ve spent the last 38 years doing them, and answering the door is the least of them.

I posted earlier that as well as being blind, DP has other problems that remove the possibility of them opening the door. Completely valid issues.

I have never known any social housing flats anywhere that's allowed dogs or cats as V if everybody had them it would be a smelly hell hole.

I spent a few years in social housing....with a dog and a cat.

[quote MonaLisaDoesntSmile]@oakleaffy I will shock you, I don't have odour problems in the house but I LOVE scented candles and diffusers, and have something on most of the time. So my house may smell like baked bread or autumn leaves or fresh cut roses. Not everyone wants their house smell of nothing.

OP, a lot of people dont get the interest in home scents, so just ignore. Nothing wrong with a diffuser on! There is a reson they sell them.[/quote]
I think some people have very sensitive noses..
I have smelled gas leaks in people's houses before- and the gasman said ''You must have a sensitive nose- there is a leak, but a very small one''..
Going into a church with faint traces of incense -especially Frankincence - is pleasant, where one just catches a hint of it-

One hot summer, some Sewer blokes had dug up a drain- and the eggy stench was like walking into a wall of odour.
I asked the chap how he could bear it- he replied
''I have no sense of smell, love- I have polyps up me nose''

It does have advantages though- Daphne and Lime blossom is divine- as is Mimosa. We live in such an odiferous world.

So my house may smell like baked bread or autumn leaves or fresh cut roses. Not everyone wants their house smell of nothing.
Your house may well smell like those things, but it'll be very obvious it's just an artificial facsimile.
I'd rather a well aired house than any amount of scented crap.

So I haven't RTFT, but I have read OP's posts.
Stop engaging with her complaints. You were moved there due to disability - the same might be true of her.
Write a bullet-pointed email to your housing officer and ask their advice. Tell them her behaviour is disturbing you. Ask if the HA can put a parcel box by your door because of your disabilities. Tell him you don't want to make a formal complaint of harassment but that if the situation does not improve you will do so. And then step back. Let your housing officer get on with their job. That's what they're paid for.

God there are some obnoxious people on here. The OP is asking for support not to be annihilated. A bit of kindness wouldn't go amiss.

The replies on this thread a fucking disgraceful.

We have electric aroma diffusers in each room. They run on water and natural essential oils. They don't smell like nasty Yankee candle fake smells. We don't have bad smells we like the smell and I be essential oils can support health. So those unable to understand op set up its really not that uncommon.

@Haffiana

Poor bloody dog, subjected to diffusers and scent materials all the time. A dog has an incredibly sensitive nose. I would report you to the RSPCA.

Why don't people just clean their house instead of filling it with masking chemicals?

Such a stupid comment. Like op has said many times the diffusers use essential oils. Which tend not to irritate pets. She has also said her daughter looks after the dog lots.

Seems like you're looking for an excuse for a pile on. Which is quite unpleasant of you.

Like op has said many times the diffusers use essential oils. Which tend not to irritate pets.
Some essential oils are toxic to dogs.

@Plussizejumpsuit
There are a number of essential oils that are not suitable for use around cats or dogs

Hi OP, i just came here to say that having read your OP and your numerous updates, plus many of the varying good and bad responses, I have to say you have handled the negativity, assumptions and disablism with dignity and a calm assertive manner. I know you lost patience a couple of times, but even so you didnt bite, but continued in this calm, assured manner. I am very impressed, i would have abandoned the thread eons ago.

Rather than report her, i would reach out to the HA/SS and tell them what you wre experiencing and how it is spiking your anxiety and see if you can get them to ring her neck in. And mention the weed to the HA in passing.

I can't believe posters on this thread are interrogating you about your disabilities and day to day functioning. Outrageous.
Could your neighbour have mental health problems herself if she is saying things that aren't true eg that your partner doesn't live there?

Also, sometimes people smell things that aren't there:
www.nhs.uk/conditions/phantosmia/

There are some seriously rude people on here. I have a disabled neighbour who has a dog walker come every day.

Let her report you. A housing officer will visit and if everything is as you say you have absolutely nothing to worry about.

Maybe consider getting your deliveries sent to your daughters house. It is a bit off ordering loads of things if you’re not able to answer the door. If it’s a flat with a communal entry it can be difficult knowing if it’s your door knocking of your neighbours... I can see that would get annoying very quickly.

@Plussizejumpsuit

The replies on this thread a fucking disgraceful.

I expected it tbh, but AIBU tends to get the most traffic so I was prepared for nasties. The disablism on the other hand is shocking and just reinforces what disabled people have to put up with on a daily basis.

[quote stophuggingme]@Plussizejumpsuit
There are a number of essential oils that are not suitable for use around cats or dogs[/quote]
I already said that I'm aware of this and have been using essential oils for many years.

@EscapingFromWorkStress

Hi OP, i just came here to say that having read your OP and your numerous updates, plus many of the varying good and bad responses, I have to say you have handled the negativity, assumptions and disablism with dignity and a calm assertive manner. I know you lost patience a couple of times, but even so you didnt bite, but continued in this calm, assured manner. I am very impressed, i would have abandoned the thread eons ago.

Rather than report her, i would reach out to the HA/SS and tell them what you wre experiencing and how it is spiking your anxiety and see if you can get them to ring her neck in. And mention the weed to the HA in passing.

Aww, bless you. Integrity is extremely important to me and I do my very, very, best not to compromise it.

Yeah, respect for your ability to stay polite under pressure!

I'm with @bookmum08 I have disabled clients who do just that and it works fine. I think opening windows and letting fresh air blow through is way better than any amount of air freshener too. But it does sound like she's hassling you and I think a log is a good idea.

Actually OP, you sound like like a lovely neighbour, compared to the shrieky shouty lot I am lumbered with on holiday nobodies children are that funny loud laughing lady, they are just below average in the comedy stakes and everbody in the street hates you

OP, did you have an OT assessment when you moved in to your flat? I've worked with a couple of clients with disabilities that made it difficult for them to get to the door and their assessments included installation of a remote door opening button, so they could just open the door and the delivery people could leave things in the hallway of their flat.

Your neighbour sounds like a pain in the arse, frankly.