Reported to Housing Association

[GrumpyOldFart]

Moved into a block of Housing Association flats around a year ago due to disability requirements. We have a neighbour on the same floor who at the time said she sees everything and knows everything.

Her attitude changed earlier this year when she claimed there was an unpleasant smell from our flat (we have diffusers in the living room and hallway, and also an odour neutraliser in the kitchen and hallway. We hoover/sweep bi-daily and mop kitchen once a week.

She grabbed me a couple of months ago to tell me she had reported us to the HA for the smell, and because we don't answer the door to deliveries and dislikes the knocking on the door (I am predominantly bed-bound and have erratic sleep patterns due to disability and DP doesn't answer the door because of medical conditions).

Now the neighbour has started banging on the windows whilst calling my name and telling me there's a parcel by the door, that my partner isn't living here, that my car alarm was going off.

Except my partner IS very much living here, and my car alarm 110% wasn't going off (DP was in the front room and would have heard it. The alarm is also disabled between certain hours, including when she claimed it was going off). These incidents have been reported also. She also reported me to Social Services for "needing help".

I'd tell her to piss off but this would just antagonise the situation but it's getting truly ridiculous. I could complain about her to the HA, but she would obviously know it was me.

Any ideas would be great...

AIBU/AINBU to tell her to piss off/report her.

BTW, if your DP is mobile, then he/she should be collecting packages from the door instead of waiting for you to get up to do it. I realise people have problems but you've said you're practically bedridden so he needs to pick up a bit of the weight

Totally impossible.

There is no dog piss or crap in the flat. The dog is showered weekly (by daughter). Our flat is not dirty. I'd post pictures except it would be very outing if said neighbour is on MN.

She sounds like a harassing neighbour.

Two neighbours ago I had someone with annoying ways, he did DIY a lot/late, shouted quite loudly around his children (nothing concerning just really loud 'x do your teeth' fifteen times over), had heaps of rubbish in the yard and a minor dog poo issue. Luckily he sold up!

None of it was reportable, and you sound much much more considerate.

I would speak to the HA if I was feeling harassed and I would possibly report the cannabis.

I bet my bottom dollar you are not the first person they have treated this way.

for you as being bed bound is tough.

So what do you think the smell is, you obviously notice it as you are using odour neutralisers and diffusers quite a lot?

OP, this all sounds very stressful.

I think all you can do is talk calmly with the HA. She may well have complained unreasonably about other tenants. She may we’ll have anxieties and dx’ of her own. She might be an obnoxious busybody.

The smell of weed is relevant and you should not have to put up with that.

I appreciate that they cost, but have you considered one of the secure delivery boxes?

Any form of scent such as diffusers constantly coming into my home from someone else’s would drive me wacky, I can’t stand anything scented in my home. But I would talk respectfully to my neighbour if this was an issue.

She sounds like she is one of those people who likes to ‘report’ everything.

Stay calm, talk calmly to HA. If the fact that they have not called to make an appointment to talk about it is hanging over you and causing stress, call them and say so. Say you are aware they complained and it is causing you to worry so could they hear what you have to say and resolve it.

I hope it gets sorted soon.

Do NOT feel you need to post pictures, some posters try hard find things to criticise!

@UnfinishedSymphon

So what do you think the smell is, you obviously notice it as you are using odour neutralisers and diffusers quite a lot?

I think th op already answered, she actively likes diffusers, she isn't covering up a bad smell.

I don't myself but many people use them. They are a widely sold product.

Why are you ordering so many parcel deliveries when you are unable to open your door? What medical conditions does your partner have that prevents him answering the door?
On the smell thing... it's clearly not the odour neutraliser she's objecting to, it's the underlying smell you're attempting to mask.
Where is it coming from?

I think th op already answered, she actively likes diffusers, she isn't covering up a bad smell.
I don't myself but many people use them. They are a widely sold product.
Using them in conjunction with an odour neutraliser would suggest otherwise, I think?

I think you’re being bullied. I’d speak to ha about her - can’t hurt! And if she talks to you again say we need the diffusers as the cannabis smell from your flat is quite strong. But the sign for delivery people to leave packages at the door is prob a good idea (although if a package went missing I’d assume it was her and change the sign to ‘I’m disabled, please ring and knock loudly and continuously so I hear it. Thank you very much for your support.’

@Thisismytimetoshine

I think th op already answered, she actively likes diffusers, she isn't covering up a bad smell. I don't myself but many people use them. They are a widely sold product. Using them in conjunction with an odour neutraliser would suggest otherwise, I think?

The OP said this in response to the same question: We use the neutralisers and diffusers in case of any dog smell. The hallways sees a lot of traffic as the bedroom, storage unit, kitchen and living room are joined to it, and anyone that visits has to come through the hallway.

We use the diffusers (they operate off water/natural oils) as we love the smell they give off.

Do you get a lot of deliveries but never answer the door? That’s a bit strange. How are you expecting to get them into your house?

I think I know why she might be really irritated by the knocking. Few buildings I lived in were designed stupidly. When someone knocked on neighbour's door, I went to open mine because it sounded like they knocked on mine. Very irritating tbh.

Why are you ordering stuff if you can't answer the door? How do you let the dog out if you can't get to the door?

Goodness! Lots of posters on here who have no idea what being disabled and primarily bedbound actually involves day-to-day. Sorry OP for some of the unsympathetic responses on here. Fancy not being allowed to have a dog if you are disabled!

I agree with some of the more helpful posts that suggest you keep your own log of the harassment. And a sign on the door for delivery men saying that you are unable to come to come to the door and to not disturb the neighbours would at least mean that the batty neighbour can't hold you responsible if the delivery men ignore it.

Why are people so baffled by the not answering the door. My neighbour gets a lot of parcels delivered. They are usually out at work when delivered and 9 times out of 10 the delivery person just leaves the parcels on the door step. I assume that's the instruction they leave and accept it's at their risk of the parcels being pinched. When they arrive home they pick up the parcel and take it in.
I would assume that the OP at some point in the day opens the door (or her partner or daughter) and takes any parcels in. That's not complicated.

If you have a dog and don't go to the door so it has to defecate inside the flat, than no amount of "diffusers" is going to cover the stink

I am struggling with this one, none of it makes sense.

You are suggesting that your neighbours are bullying you and making up stories. But if they were bullying you and trying to cause you grief wouldn't they steal or damage all these parcels that are outside your door? You are bed bound and your oh can't open the door but the dog is let out to toilet and exercised I'm hoping at least 3-4 times a day ? And despite being bed bound and not being able to open a door one or both of you can get out of the first AND pick up dog poo?

Isnt it a breach of your tenancy to gage a dog? I have never known any social housing flats anywhere that's allowed dogs or cats as V if everybody had them it would be a smelly hell hole.

I think you should get the parcels delivered to your daughters or do clock and collect. You have a car so desire claiming your OH. Can't open a door, and you are bed bound, you do get out and about. Removing the parcels gives them less reason to knock.

Depending on what car you have, you can often get online reports that say when the alarm has gone off etc. I was sat at my sisters and got a text message from VW to say that somebody has tried to open my drivers side front door.

Keep a log but understand that on paper this neighbour could very well be trying to help you. She sees that you are struggling .

Fancy not being allowed to have a dog if you are disabled! hmm
It's a reasonable question, actually; op claims that she "always picks up" after the dog, but also claims she can't get out of bed to open the door.
Can't both be the case.

I bet you it's her grandson's weed smoking smell she's complaining about.

Who drives the car, op?

@HotPatootiebootie I'm in social housing and I have two cats - permitted by the Housing Association. My downstairs neighbour has a dog. My previous, different HA also allowed pets. It's not unusual.

@Thisismytimetoshine

Fancy not being allowed to have a dog if you are disabled! hmm It's a reasonable question, actually; op claims that she "always picks up" after the dog, but also claims she can't get out of bed to open the door. Can't both be the case.

Yes it can. Bedbound doesn't mean she's tied to the bed with chains. It means she spends the majority of her day in it due to mobility issues. Perhaps OP can't reliably get out of bed with a moment's notice to answer the door to the delivery men, but can get up to help the dog. She has said sometimes she's sleeping and is woken up by the door. Perhaps some days she has more mobility than others.

@2bazookas

If you have a dog and don't go to the door so it has to defecate inside the flat, than no amount of "diffusers" is going to cover the stink

Erm, not sure this is the case here, unless I missed an update?

I think she's being very unreasonable but from the dogs point of view, his nose is likely to be very irritated by the constant air freshener fumes, remember their noses are 10,000 times more sensitive than ours. The smell of these things literally make me ill so I hope your dog is ok. Just try leaving windows open so that the air circulators naturally. I hope this gets resolved

Be polite but just ignore her. If the behaviour continues, then a call to the HA might be in order. But don’t call the police, that’s just a ridiculous suggestion.