Reported to Housing Association

[GrumpyOldFart]

Moved into a block of Housing Association flats around a year ago due to disability requirements. We have a neighbour on the same floor who at the time said she sees everything and knows everything.

Her attitude changed earlier this year when she claimed there was an unpleasant smell from our flat (we have diffusers in the living room and hallway, and also an odour neutraliser in the kitchen and hallway. We hoover/sweep bi-daily and mop kitchen once a week.

She grabbed me a couple of months ago to tell me she had reported us to the HA for the smell, and because we don't answer the door to deliveries and dislikes the knocking on the door (I am predominantly bed-bound and have erratic sleep patterns due to disability and DP doesn't answer the door because of medical conditions).

Now the neighbour has started banging on the windows whilst calling my name and telling me there's a parcel by the door, that my partner isn't living here, that my car alarm was going off.

Except my partner IS very much living here, and my car alarm 110% wasn't going off (DP was in the front room and would have heard it. The alarm is also disabled between certain hours, including when she claimed it was going off). These incidents have been reported also. She also reported me to Social Services for "needing help".

I'd tell her to piss off but this would just antagonise the situation but it's getting truly ridiculous. I could complain about her to the HA, but she would obviously know it was me.

Any ideas would be great...

AIBU/AINBU to tell her to piss off/report her.

It sounds as if neighbour has a point. House smells of artificial scents and /or dog. Delivery men come every couple of days, knock and ring and don't get an answer so leave packages in communal space. Neighbour gets no answer if she tries to give you package/ ask you to remove it from communal area or talk to you.

The car alarm more than likely has gone off - not the sort of thing one makes up. You have a dog who uses the back garden as a toilet. Not everyone's ideal neighbour.

Maybe try to talk to neighbour, apologise for the pacakges, get a delivery lockbox or arrange click and collect and your daughter can collect all in one go. Get rid of the artificial scent-makers - they may be the problem.

When my brother was confined to bed they had an entry phone system connected to his room so he could open the door for visitors/carers. That was way way back in the day, nowadays there are all sorts of devices you can connect to your phone so you can speak to people at your door. You could ask couriers to leave parcels on the doorstep, or to wait while you get to the door.

Why are you ordering so many parcel deliveries when you are unable to open your door? What medical conditions does your partner have that prevents him answering the door?

We rely on deliveries as it's very hard for us to get out. We mainly just go out for appointments otherwise it's perhaps once every three weeks.

They are blind.

The odour neutralisers are for general dog smell, he likes to sleep in the hallway.

I’m disabled, please ring and knock loudly and continuously so I hear it. Thank you very much for your support.’

ffs why are people focusing on the dog, that's not what this post is about.

OP has clearly stated her daughter has the dog a lot of the time, why are people assuming that just because she has disabilities she can't look after a dog. Bloody hell, bullying keyboard warriors, why not just answer the question in hand or don't comment. I swear some people are just bored and like to pick a fight on here, it's so unnecessary.

OP your neighbour is a bully. Like a PP stated, you know it was her who reported you, so yes I would report her and see what happens.

If the parcels are getting left on the doorstep does that mean that other tenants are constantly stepping over parcels which have been left and ignored on the front step (I’m assuming if your in a flat you have a shared hallway/walkway/path etc). Also if your flats, someone knocking on your door can easily sound like someone knocking on her door. Hence she pokes her head out to find its not for her etc. Can you get stuff delivered to drop of points at a shop and you and your partner take the dog to the shop for it’s walk and collect the parcel.

Also who washes a dog every week? Surely that’s really bad for them and just irritates the dogs skin? I thought it was really bad for them to be washed with that sort of regularity.

If you’ve have issues with the car alarm and an alarm was going off, it’s easy to think it was yours. If she says something confirm you’ve had an issue with the alarm and it’s all fixed now. But confirm it wouldn’t have been you car at that time.

The complaining about the smell could be due to the smell of the diffusers. I hate the smell and find things like those and plug in freshers really strong, simply because we don’t use them.

Fancy not being allowed to have a dog if you are disabled! hmm

To be frank it's not about disabled or not disabled. If someone gets a dog, or any animal for that matter, they must be able to care for them well. Like if you work 12 hour days 6 days a week, it would be very questionable to get a dog. Or if you cannot provide dog with adequate exercise and care due to mobility issues. It's unfair on the dog.

And letting the dog out for toilet breaks to the communal area is just gross. OP picks up the dog poo but can't answer the door for deliveries.

@GrumpyOldFart

Very much depends on what the smell is.

She never says. I mean, we've even tried different scents in the diffuser, we use a scented powder once a week, and use carpet cleaner every three months.

Her actions force me to get out of bed which causes significant levels of pain. I also fall often so moving from bedroom (furthest room from the front door too) can take me a few minutes. In the case of deliveries she is always there with her door open and a disapproving stare on her face.

Why the need for all the artificial chemical 'perfumes?' A house should ideally smell of fresh air, and nothing else..

Those reed diffusers/scented plug ins are really pungent and make me feel sick- I looked after a house for someone who had these, and I had to round them up and shut them away- their house was immaculate, but still had these awful smelly things that were so strong, one could 'taste' it.

What are you attempting to ''mask'' with the artificial scents?

Re parcels- It is annoying to have posties/couriers banging on the door with deliveries for neighbours- one was a gigantic parcel that took up my entire hallway- a ''Birthing Pool''..

Since then, I only accept small parcels from neighbours.

Maybe arrange a box outside for parcels to be left in, out of the rain?

Sorry but you sound a bit of a pain all round.

Thanks for the disablism.

OUR DAUGHTER USUALLY HAS THE DOG

Caps and bold so hopefully people see it this time...

If the parcels are getting left on the doorstep does that mean that other tenants are constantly stepping over parcels

No, each flat door has a slight alcove and the communal area is very wide and length is approx 15 feet.

Maybe for ease it might be worth getting your parcels delivered to your daughters or to a click and collect for your daughter 😂 to pick up? It would save on the door knocking noise and you wouldn't have to keep getting in and out of bed.

I’d report her to the police for harassment. They had a word with my neighbour for less than you’ve put up with.

Excuse the laughing emoji. That was an accident, stupid phone . I don't like hotlinking emojis incase it repeatedly uses my data each time the page loads.

And letting the dog out for toilet breaks to the communal area is just gross. OP picks up the dog poo but can't answer the door for deliveries.

FFS, learn to read my updates maybe? When we have him he's taken to the very large grassed area at the back of the flats. Depending on my pain levels, my fatigue and my muscle weakness the times he goes out are flexible.

Why the need for all the artificial chemical 'perfumes?'

When she first mentioned an unpleasant smell I panicked and did everything I could to remove it, trying to be a decent neighbour. She's not given any details about it.

If I were you I'd get a camera for your door. There are fairly cheap ones if you shop around. This gives 2 advantages - firstly it means you know who is knocking, and can choose to ignore it if it's this awful woman,
and secondly it means that any innapropriate behaviour will be recorded e.g. her harassing you.

@gamerchick

Maybe for ease it might be worth getting your parcels delivered to your daughters or to a click and collect for your daughter 😂 to pick up? It would save on the door knocking noise and you wouldn't have to keep getting in and out of bed.

Good idea! C&C is great.

Also, regarding a dog that smells- I'd change the dog's diet, get his or her's teeth and gums checked-
Nature diet makes dogs have no 'dog smell' at all.

If you are disabled so can't get out of bed, the poor dog may be yapping that also gets on the neighbour's nerves?
Dogs need exercise, not just a pee/poo real in a communal garden...

I'd not be surprised if it is the dog yapping[?] issues and other issues that are wearing the other neighbour down.

It can't be much fun for a dog to be housebound.

Your life sounds very difficult, I'm sorry.

Maybe there is a smell, maybe there isn't. (possibly the neighbour doesn't like the diffusers themselves, who knows). Maybe the knocking for the parcels is a little annoying.

But really, so what? Tiny annoyances in the life of somebody who (presumably) is relatively healthy, able bodies and able to go about her life.

If I lived next door to people with as many challenges as the OP, I would be actively trying to make their lives a bit easier, not complaining about small things like a smell from another flat (really, how strong can it be? My mum's flat stinks to high heaven and I tell her over and over (she has no sense of smell) but you still can't smell it until to you get right next to the door).)

I don't see how you're equating the use of air diffusers with a smell, do you not want your home to have a pleasant smell?

Open windows and fresh air.

op there really are some dim wits and idiots who don't the whole thread before coming out with stupid remarks.
i would make a note of the neighbours behaviour but not engage with her, she has her own problems possibly not enough going on in her life or weed smoking grandson, we all know that can cause mental health problems that she has to live with.

@GrumpyOldFart
So sorry to hear that you are getting grief off of your neighbour, who sounds like she really doesn't have much going on to be picking holes in you since you have moved in.

Agree with some of what has already been said - do make a written log of every incident if possible. Ideally, it would be great if the issues can be resolved amicably, however, if the issues continue, do not hesitate to report her for harassment to your Housing Association, who will have to investigate it.

I think you've posted before about the parcels and I was TeamNeighbour, I am afraid, as were lots of other people.

I say that as someone with disabilities who spends most of my time in bed and orders far too many fucking parcels

God knows I have sympathy but I also see the other side (would like to see the neighbours POV!) I am disabled but it doesn't excuse me from the responsibilities of trying to be a good neighbour (shame mine are total fuckmuppets). A dog in a block of flats using the back garden as a toilet, and who can only be taken outside if you feel up to it, multiple parcel deliveries a week and not answering the door etc...annoying.

You had shitloads of good ideas on the last thread re the parcels but it doesn't look like you took any of it on board.