"You're looking well"

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When someone tells you that you are "looking well", what is your first reaction?

Strangely (or not?!) my first reaction is that they think I've put on weight. I think my mum used to joke that "looking well" meant in the "you look like you have been feeding yourself up and look relaxed".

So...I've spent my entire life feeling like people think I'm chubby.

However my friend the other day said I looked like I'd kept the lockdown weight off as I was "looking well". Bugger me, it suddenly became clear that perhaps it ISN'T a veiled insult?!

Tell me: What the heck does "looking well" actually mean?! Have I wasted years of angst on this? Is it actually... a COMPLIMENT?!

I always take it as a compliment.If I ever say it to anyone, it's because I think they look well turned out, radiant, stylish etc. If somebody has put on weight, I can't imagine many people would comment on it. I certainly wouldn't.

I see iyt as looking healthy or content. Definately not fat.

I use this and mean exactly what it says - the person looks well - not drained, tired, bright skin and eyes

i always tell people they are looking well if i haven't seen them for a while, i consider it a compliment. My logic is that even if they are not particularly well, they might be happy to think that they look it.

Compliment as far as I'm concerned too. I'm surprised to hear it's used as an insult.

I had it said to me mostly when I had lost a lot of weight.

I've always received/given it as a compliment! As in looking healthy/well rested/happy! Mortified it may have been taken as an insult...

If I say it to someone I mean it, that they look well.

My boss said it to me a while back and I think she meant it. I had lost 4 stone in weight over the course of a year and I think she felt she couldn’t actually refer to that so said I looked well instead. I felt she meant it in a nice way.
Although I actually didn’t feel I looked well, I looked pretty ropey as I had a flare up of acne at the time!

My late dh used to laugh because he and another male were both terminally ill so people always saying how well they looked or how good they looked when they saw them. He pointed out that us wives had the 2 best looking husbands in the area due to the number of people who told them how good/well they looked!! People were being kind/complimentary because they both made an effort when going out but my dh found it amusing.

I use it to express how radiant, relaxed or happy someone looks.

I last said it to my ex-boss who was 5 years cancer-free, had retired, and no longer had stress-related high blood pressure.

I've no idea if she'd lost or gained weight but she looked fantastic.

Yup, I always assumed it was code for "You piled on the pounds." It was the first thing my Grandmother said to me post-lockdown (and it was true!)

I think it means you look good but you're not saying you look skinny because that's a bit eating disorder-y and generally not appropriate. At least, that's how I say it. Maybe I've been offending people all along!

I think it used to be positive to look bigger and the older gen say it, people assume it must still be a bigger thing?

Funnily enough, i said the other day I've heard "you look well " ALOT since ive lost 3st since the end of April.

Ive translated it to " you dont look as fat as when i saw you last"

I smile to myself now everytime I hear it

Just at the moment, for me, having been off work for a while following an operation that went badly wrong, I interpret it as meaning "you should be back at work" but that may be paranoia on my part.

Oh my god I've only ever taken it to be, and used it as, a compliment! Mortified that people might have thought I was commenting on their weight!!

I've only had this said to me when I've very definitely lost weight.

But even if I've been pleased to have lost a few pounds it always riles me slightly as it makes me think "oh so you're saying I used to be fat?!"

Someone I haven't seen since pre lockdown said this to me today. I've been eating a lot of biscuits so maybe that's why I didn't know what to say so I said 'you too!'

Some years ago I went dairy free because my youngest had an intolerance.
One of my friends who I hadn't seen in a while said wow you're looking well! this to me was classed as an insult normally but she followed with what have you done to your skin, it's so clear! Phew! She meant it as a compliment as my skin had improved drastically in those 18 months

When I say it, I really mean it. I stay away from any kind of comment if someone has obviously put weight on as I'm sensitive about weight myself so would rather just not go there.
The only person who consistently says it to me is my MIL and I always think she means I'm a bit fat. She refers to her friends by weight ie 'Susan my big friend' and not in an affectionate Gavin and Stacey 'Big Fat Sue' way either!

Oh god if its an insult then I've been calling people fat for years without knowing it! In Ireland we say it alot. Just means they look well. I Defo mean it as a compliment i said it to a girl i know who had a baby recently just thought she looked so bright eyed and happy so said your looking well. Hope she didnt think i was calling her fat!

I think it means you have put weight on.

My husband's grandparents do use 'you're looking well' to mean put on weight. I know it doesn't always mean that but that is where my mind goes.

Sorry for being a bit thick, but how the hell is You're looking well, an insult? Has the English language become so fucked up that now we say the opposite of what we mean, or mean the opposite of what we say?

I always took it to mean I’d put weight one . But recently lost two stone and am back to my normal weight size ten and have quite a few people say it so maybe not !

I was once told i looked well. I replied, thanks, so do you and she looked taken aback, raised her eyebrows and said do i really? Then turned to someone next to her and asked them do i? Do i look well? So i guess the cow must've meant it as 'you look fat'. My baby was 1 or under at the time. Fucking bitch.