"You're looking well"

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Standard mumsnet disclaimer: Light hearted thread

When someone tells you that you are "looking well", what is your first reaction?

Strangely (or not?!) my first reaction is that they think I've put on weight. I think my mum used to joke that "looking well" meant in the "you look like you have been feeding yourself up and look relaxed".

So...I've spent my entire life feeling like people think I'm chubby.

However my friend the other day said I looked like I'd kept the lockdown weight off as I was "looking well". Bugger me, it suddenly became clear that perhaps it ISN'T a veiled insult?!

Tell me: What the heck does "looking well" actually mean?! Have I wasted years of angst on this? Is it actually... a COMPLIMENT?!

Ahhhh I love the English language! A real mix of responses so I am no closer to knowing the truth

I hang out with nice people so I'm going to choose to believe it is a compliment! I never ever tell anyone they look well...because I thought it was a bit of an insult. So there we go!

@Lookingforastronauts

I am mortified.

I've only ever said this as a compliment, usually meaning they look well!! Bright eyes and skin - just well...

I'm horrified someone thinks I meant they looked fat

Same here!

They might as well say "You've packed on the pounds".

I normally say it to mean you look tanned, not fat! Or refreshed or nice or maybe more made up or dressed up than usual. V mean and rude to say with regards to weight gain.

I’ve only ever used and encountered it as a compliment. Might be make careful now if some people are perceiving it as an insult!

I take it as a compliment, but I'm a very literal person. I take it to mean that I have a healthy complexion/glow about me.

I say it and I mean you look well rested,tanned, happy

This again! (sigh)

It does NOT mean you have put on weight unless you are paranoid and look for insults in everything anyone says to you. Anyone who thinks that must be difficult to be around.

It means that you look well, as in not unwell FGS.

In the North is always been a veiled way of saying 'you've put weight on.

I say it a lot and I mean it to say you look happy and healthy. If someone had noticeably gained weight, I wouldn't comment on it. Everyone knows when they've put on a few pounds, nobody needs to hear it. It's cruel and unnecessary.

Around here it means you look like you have lost weight!

Everyone I know says it when someone has gone down a dress size!

@Lookingforastronauts

I am mortified.

I've only ever said this as a compliment, usually meaning they look well!! Bright eyes and skin - just well...

I'm horrified someone thinks I meant they looked fat

This

Is this a regional thing? Because I have only ever thought of it as a compliment. I really hope people don’t think I’ve been insulting them all this time!

Well, now I'm paranoid. It's not something I routinely say, but if I tell someone they're looking well, it's because they're .... looking well.

Like maybe they're just had a good night's sleep or are having a good day. Just full of energy or life. I would probably only say it to someone I've not seen in a while.

Now I'm worried I've been inadvertently telling people I think they're fat 🙈.

When I say it, I always mean it as a compliment. To me, someone looks well when their skin is glowing and they look healthy, like when they're just back from holiday. I said it to someone at work today actually, I really hope she doesn't think I meant she's put on weight!

I use it generally to mean someone looks in various ways better than they have previously. I.e. if they've been sick, but are looking better/brighter

To me it means sparkly eyes and healthy how. Well groomed.

Glow

I think this negative connotation stems from an outdated assumption that people should try to compliment women on their attractiveness when meeting them again - eg “oooh don’t you look great” / “you’re looking in great shape,” etc.

However if someone thinks the woman has actually chunked out since they last saw them, they still need to pay a compliment and all they can comment on is their health and hence “oooh, you’re looking really, erm.... well”

All this has its roots in outdated sexist bullshit IMO.

When I say it, definitely meant as a compliment and would be horrified if taken any other way. Do you think it depends where you come from?

All the people saying that they think it means that they look fat, why?
Why wouldn't you just take the compliment at face value?

A bloke said this to me recently but I think it had more to do with my boobs and liking the look of them 😂

I always take it as a dig at my weight.

Fat.