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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

"You're looking well"

321 replies

PremiumMoaner · 21/08/2020 20:17

Standard mumsnet disclaimer: Light hearted thread

When someone tells you that you are "looking well", what is your first reaction?

Strangely (or not?!) my first reaction is that they think I've put on weight. I think my mum used to joke that "looking well" meant in the "you look like you have been feeding yourself up and look relaxed".

So...I've spent my entire life feeling like people think I'm chubby.

However my friend the other day said I looked like I'd kept the lockdown weight off as I was "looking well". Bugger me, it suddenly became clear that perhaps it ISN'T a veiled insult?!

Tell me: What the heck does "looking well" actually mean?! Have I wasted years of angst on this? Is it actually... a COMPLIMENT?!

OP posts:
TheVamoosh · 21/08/2020 20:19

I only say it to people who are or have been unwell...

JosephineDeBeauharnais · 21/08/2020 20:20

In my world it’s code for “you’ve put weight on.”

AnneLovesGilbert · 21/08/2020 20:21

I’ve got a toddler who sometimes decides sleep is for chumps so I take it as a compliment. It’s far better than “ooh, you look tired”. I say thank you to both Grin

If I say it, I mean it kindly, that they do in fact look well/lovely.

ForestYeti · 21/08/2020 20:23

I’ve had it said a couple of times recently and as I’ve put a couple of stone on since they last saw me I took it as you’ve put on weight

formerbabe · 21/08/2020 20:23

It's a compliment

D4rwin · 21/08/2020 20:23

Yep. It's an insult.

DontTouchTheMoustache · 21/08/2020 20:24

I have heard this before that people think it means that but you would have to be a really bitchy piece of work to walk up to someone and say you look fat. I think it's an urban myth

OhioOhioOhio · 21/08/2020 20:24

Means you're fat. In my world anyway.

ChelseaCat · 21/08/2020 20:25

I’ve had it recently - both times the people were actually complimenting my suntan 🤷‍♀️

museumum · 21/08/2020 20:25

Honest compliment from me usually related to looking well rested or tanned (in a healthy fresh air way not a roasted on a beach Or sunbed way)

Lookingforastronauts · 21/08/2020 20:25

I am mortified.

I've only ever said this as a compliment, usually meaning they look well!! Bright eyes and skin - just well...

I'm horrified someone thinks I meant they looked fat

AquarianSquirrel · 21/08/2020 20:26

Thought it was a compliment..but from the answers here, perhaps it depends on the person saying it and the person it's said to?

nevernotstruggling · 21/08/2020 20:26

If I tell someone they 'look really well' I mean exactly that.

I don't make covert weight comments it's very rude.

dudsville · 21/08/2020 20:26

I've never understood this. Why would there be a code phrase for putting on weight? Code it not, it's not cool.

museumum · 21/08/2020 20:27

The only time it might mean you’d put on weight to me is if you’d been terribly underweight scrawny and ill before. So even then it’s still a compliment.

Pipandmum · 21/08/2020 20:28

Me too - I automatically think I must look like I've put on weight.

FuzzyPuffling · 21/08/2020 20:28

For me it usually means I've got a red face. And since that is a malar rash as I have lupus, it means I am actually NOT well. But I have given up trying to explain my experience of chronic illness.

PrimeraVez · 21/08/2020 20:28

My step dad says it to me all the bloody time. I always take it to mean that I’m looking a bit well-rounded.

user1493413286 · 21/08/2020 20:29

My mum says it and she means that I’m looking good/healthy/happy; definitely not that I’ve put on weight

DrManhattan · 21/08/2020 20:30

Defo an insult!

flossletsfloss · 21/08/2020 20:31

I've heard people say it means you've put on weight but I always say it in the genuine sense. Often I say it if someone looks fit and has lost a bit of weight. Minefield!

OhYeahYouSuck · 21/08/2020 20:31

What?! Never heard of it being for anything except what it actually states; ie they look healthy and well. What a stupid phrase to use as an insult (I'm autistic so this sort of thing passes me by and baffles me completely). I use it and genuinely mean that someone is looking happy and healthy. That's how I take it too as that's generally what the person who says it means. I rarely put on weight and I'm much happier than I've ever been so its a compliment in my book.

YesINameChangeEveryDay · 21/08/2020 20:32

I defo think its to do with looking fat.
Basically they want to say something nice but can't find anything nice to say so say you're looking well.

No one ever said I was looking well when i was a size 8. 😂

CatRamsey · 21/08/2020 20:32

I thought it was a good thing. I was doing well losing weight at one point and bumped into someone I hadn't seen in a while. He said 'you look well - have you lost weight?'

Wowzaaa2020 · 21/08/2020 20:32

Definitely means you’ve put on weight. Only passive aggressive people use this statement any kind human being would know how it could be taken and wouldn’t have the audacity.

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