"You're looking well"

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When someone tells you that you are "looking well", what is your first reaction?

Strangely (or not?!) my first reaction is that they think I've put on weight. I think my mum used to joke that "looking well" meant in the "you look like you have been feeding yourself up and look relaxed".

So...I've spent my entire life feeling like people think I'm chubby.

However my friend the other day said I looked like I'd kept the lockdown weight off as I was "looking well". Bugger me, it suddenly became clear that perhaps it ISN'T a veiled insult?!

Tell me: What the heck does "looking well" actually mean?! Have I wasted years of angst on this? Is it actually... a COMPLIMENT?!

I've had this said to me since I was a teenager and could tell if it was a compliment or not by the way it was said and by whom. Now I'm older I choose to always take it as a compliment as I can't be bothered to over analyse every comment.

I don't ever comment on how someone looks when I see them, it actually makes me really uncomfortable when it's expected of me.

If I say it I genuinely mean 'you are looking well', in a very nice way that you're looking really good. But after a previously very similar thread I have stopped saying it.

Looking well in my circle means you've lost weight or are looking slim.

But who would say it to mean ‘you look fat’?! I can’t imagine anyone doing that.

Weird. In my experience people have used it when someone has lost weight or is looking well rested.

But to be honest I don’t say it as I don’t like commenting on people’s appearances or on their weight. The worst one is when people say to you, “You look tired.” What are you supposed to reply to that??

Your looking well translates to "your looking like you've been eating well too much" in my head.

Oh no, nightmare. I say it when someone looks healthy and happy. Definitely not at all weight related. Must never ever say it again.

When I say it I mean it as a compliment but when people say it to me I take it as “you’ve put on weight” 🤣

A lot of people do look healthier when they put on a bit of weight though so shrug

A lot of people do look healthier when they put on a bit of weight though so shrug

Only if they were noticeably underweight before.

The worst one is when people say to you, “You look tired.” What are you supposed to reply to that??

I usually say, “That’s because I am”

I say it and mean it as you look healthy and good - bright eyed and bushy tailed as PP said. Once said it so someone I used to work with who I hadn’t seen for a bit as she had a new job - she was all dressed up for a night out and looked happy. She straight away said it’s because I’ve got really fat - I was mortified and hadn’t noticed she’d gained weight when I said it She just genuinely sparkled with health and happiness. People project their own values and insecurities on to what you say.

I see it two ways depending on who is saying it but both are compliments. Mostly I think it is used to mean 'you've lost weight' or at least maintained your weight since I saw you many years ago.

The other way it is used is to say someone looks great - good looking, attractive - when it would be inappropriate to say 'wow, you look stunning!' or something like that.

A lady I know who comes from a family with a history of EDs said that when she was younger that comment would start making her restrict her eating.

I always think that whe they say that either you dont look well or you look better than they expected. But perhaps it is a weight thing as I get it alot not I'm almost 30 weeks pregnant

I do also see it as a veiled ‘you’ve put on weight’ When said to me but thinking about it I have definitely said it to other people and not meant that!! Eg people who have been unwell, older people maybe, those who’ve eg just had a baby

I use it to mean 'you look really good'
Why on earth would people use it as an insult ? You just wouldn't say anything

I say it to people who I haven't seen in a while.
I say it as a compliment to mean they are looking healthy and happy, nothing else.
People say it to me and my weight hasn't gone up, down, sideways or any other direction, so I take it in the same spirit.
I recently returned to work after a holiday and a couple of colleagues said it to me, meaning I had a nice tan and looked well. Nothing else.

If I tell someone they look well, I mean they look good/nice. And I take it the same way if someone says it to me. Maybe I shouldn't given some of the pps

I’ve always taken it at face value. It must be a miserable life if you hear veiled insults in everything everyone says

I usually use it meaning well rested/tanned/like they’ve had a holiday. Definitely not as a veiled threat!

It’s not a phrase I really use, but I have always taken it to mean that a person actually looks well.

I’ve recently heard it said to someone who has been for their Botox top up, but not in a catty way as the Botox was only revealed when she laughed and explained that she had recently been back for the first time since lockdown, and said it was worth every penny as she always got compliments like that afterwards! She really did look lovely, all fresh faced and bright eyed! And just ‘well’!

It's not a phrase I would really use, but if I did, it would be to a friend I hadn't seen in while who was looking particularly relaxed and happy.

In my world, totally innocent phrase that has nothing to do with weight. Relaxed and happy-looking would be the context.