"You're looking well"

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Standard mumsnet disclaimer: Light hearted thread

When someone tells you that you are "looking well", what is your first reaction?

Strangely (or not?!) my first reaction is that they think I've put on weight. I think my mum used to joke that "looking well" meant in the "you look like you have been feeding yourself up and look relaxed".

So...I've spent my entire life feeling like people think I'm chubby.

However my friend the other day said I looked like I'd kept the lockdown weight off as I was "looking well". Bugger me, it suddenly became clear that perhaps it ISN'T a veiled insult?!

Tell me: What the heck does "looking well" actually mean?! Have I wasted years of angst on this? Is it actually... a COMPLIMENT?!

I wouldn't take it as an insult unless the person saying it was an asshole. I have said it with the intention of passing a genuine compliment.

@Saltyauntiepoop

Well in London it means fat. What region are you all in then?

No it doesn't. It means you look Well, as in not ill

I'm from London.

I always take it as an insult too.
They said I look well
I hear "You look well fed" !!

I would also use it as a genuine complement if someone was looking like they glowed with health- sometimes people do!

Oh dear, I hope people didn't think it was an insult- I just don't have the energy to think so nastily!

I’ve only ever used it as a compliment I.e they look happy and healthy. That kind of glow.

How sad some people would use it in a nasty way 😕

I've lost 10 kgs and someone said it to me the other day. Also, I took redundancy from a job I wasn't happy in and once I left numerous people commented on how well I looked, so I have decided that it actually does mean what the words say - that I look well (and happy).

It’s a complement. Looking well is not alwats related to weight loss. However, more sleep, less stress, sometimes a change of hair style or clothing style, bring generally happy, changing jobs, or even eating healthy can make all the difference to looking well. Some skin kissed skin people look lovely with a bit of tan (although I’m well aware of skin and sun damage) but just saying.
People, don’t take compliments as a negative comment...

A compliment, I think.

I say it to all pregnant women, even if they don't.

"I uslle it for people that aren't nice, in a sarcastic way. A little "oh you're looking, well,". Works perfectly."

Well don't. You're fucking it up for everyone else and making women doubt each other- as evidenced by this thread. As my granny said, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all".

What's the betting that people who think it means fat are a little plumper than they want to be?

I have never been overweight in my life so I know when people say I look well that I just look well, not fat.

A school mum said that to me once. First day back to school after the summer holidays. I was pregnant. There was a large pause between 'youre looking' and 'well'.

I am 100% confident she was telling me I had packed on the baby pounds over the summer holidays. Fuck her.

(Though, it can also be genuine, obviously. It doesn't necessarily mean anything negative. It's the context around it)

I’ve always thought it meant you’ve put on weight
Hence I’d never say it to anyone

@Ginfordinner

What's the betting that people who think it means fat are a little plumper than they want to be?

I have never been overweight in my life so I know when people say I look well that I just look well, not fat.

I am a size 10, so sorry but no.

I think it just means, 'you look good'. I use it to mean that.

I can't imagine who'd be immature enough to use it as a snide way of saying that you look fat, although I am aware of that interpretation, probably from on here!

I once had a few people tell me I looked 'well' at a wedding when I had definitely lost a lot of weight since last seeing them so I am sure they did not mean to imply I had gained weight.

I tend to think if a man says it, they mean you look good but they don't want to say it quite like that. If a woman who could be a mumsnetter says it.....the jury is out.

One thing it may imply is that you look better than last time they saw you, or better than expected. I actually said it to someone a couple of days ago...he has been shielding for months and I was concerned he would look really drained and pale but he looked just the same as ever so I was relieved. So I said 'you look well', and he said 'so do you'...hmm....

This is madness! It is a compliment, if someone looks shit / fat / rough you just wouldn't mention it.
I know that some people will never believe this but people can say nice things to each other without it having any kind of deep, dark meaning.

It means your looking well.

I remember my mother taking offence when some one called me Bonny. She said it meant fat/chubby - yay thanks mum..

Just after I fell pregnant with my twins, having told my then supervisor work had a reshuffle. I didn't see her for about 4 months. The next time I saw her, I was obviously rounder, she said 'how are you? You're looking well' then quickly added 'I don't mean fat, that's what my nan used to mean, I do really mean looking well!' Before she said that it hadn't occurred to me that she had meant anything other than a compliment. However now I'm a little sceptical ha ha!

If I think someone looks well, I tell them. You know, bursting with good health. Genuinely look well.

If they have put on weight I wouldn't say anything about how they looked.

When I say it, I genuinely mean it! Mortified that some people may have taken it the wrong way!

My FIL always says it when I have a banging migraine and my face is flushed as a result

I’ve only ever said this as a compliment, and to mean that the person is looking well!

If it weren’t for MN I would never have known that anyone thought it was an insult!

Oh dear- I never thought this could be an insult! I use the phrase to simply mean someone looks fit and healthy- like they have had a holiday or time to relax! I’m sure that’s how my parents generation used it too!

Round here it literally means you look well.Usually because you look
healthy or needed to lose weight and did or needed to put some on and you have.

Also round here if you describe a girl or woman as bonny it means pretty whereas in some places ive heard it can mean chubby

In Ireland anyway it’s a compliment! ...people would say “you’re well mended” if you’d put on weight. Usually because ur getting better harder being ill. “You’re failed” Means lost weight.