Req money as wedding present

[kb16]

I'm getting married next year and we are now thinking about sending invites out, a few people including my DP have suggested putting a nice poem/note on the invitation about how we don't expect a present but if people would like to they can contribute to our honeymoon.
Honestly, if someone put it on the invite to me I wouldn't think twice but now that it's me sending the invite I worry that it's cheeky!
I honestly don't expect presents but I understand that people like to give presents. I just worry that people that maybe wouldn't have got us a present will now feel like they have to? But the again I personally wouldn't attempt a wedding without a present so who knows!
What would your thoughts be if you got a money request as a present if it was formatted nicely?

Personal view..
I loathe requests for money as a wedding present.
I especially loathe money to pay for a honeymoon.
I especially, REALLY loathe poems requesting the above.

I didn’t put anything about gifts on my invite. It’s not why I got married. Majority of people gave us cash or vouchers.

YANBU. It’s not cheeky at all. Surely your guests want you to be happy, and therefore contribute to your honeymoon rather than a present you probably don’t want?!

I don’t understand how anyone could take offence at it unless they somehow think their right to buy whatever tat they want is more important than what the couple wants.

Just awful. As a previous poster said, we didn't put anything on the invitation regarding gifts. It's so grabby for otherwise mature and stable adults to ask for money,

Tbh most people still gave us money. But hopefully they felt that it was their own choice.

I know it is unpopular on here but I did as you suggest (though not poem) and it pretty much paid for the whole honeymoon as friends and family were so generous. I am also equally happy to give an actual gift or give money - whatever the bride and groom want is fine by me.

I personally cringe at poems asking for money.
We didn't put anything about gifts on our invites. People still gave money and gifts but I know they've done that because they wanted to.

We didn’t put anything about gifts in with the invitations. It’s cringeworthy IMO.

Saying that, key people, both mums, bridesmaids and a close work friend each knew where we were going on honeymoon and that we’d prefer cash.

95% of people gave us cash/cheques or currency.

If you don' want gifts, then say you don't want any gifts and stick to that (and I have been to weddings of people who did just that).
Whatever you do, don't write a twee poem or statement, tell me you are doing a favour by just wanting cash, or ask me to pay for your honeymoon.

I love when people want money or vouchers as it's so much easier than actual gifts. When my brother got married we put a cheque in the card and just gave them a gift bottle of good wine on the day itself.

I wouldn't include a poem or anything like that in the invites. Most people these days give cash or vouchers anyway and you can always tell family members that if anyone asks what to get you then they should say cash or vouchers.

I much prefer giving money over a present that will just sit in a cupboard.

I don't think requests for any kind of gifts should be in a wedding invitation.

We didn't ask for anything at all. About 90% of people put money in a card and the other 10% gave us a gift of their choosing.

Don't do a poem fgs. Just ask for money if that's what you want. Don't try and pretty it up by using a poem!

I never have and will never give money as a wedding present. I presume you live together now? Pay for your honeymoon yourself. Choose some nice things for your wedding list from John Lewis or similar.

And don't include a poem saying give us your cash - awful!

We did not put anything on the invites but if anyone asked we suggested vouchers for B&Q as we wanted to buy a greenhouse. 16 years later the greenhouse is full of great fruit and veg.

Mumsnet is notoriously sneery about this practice but personally I love it. It’s incredibly simple and easy, takes all the stress out of the process, and saves the couple from receiving mounds of shit they probably don’t need since most couples now live together before marriage and furnish their houses themselves. I would much rather know I was contributing to a meaningful experience like a honeymoon than buying products they don’t need.

I’m also not so self-absorbed that I think my right to choose what a couple should receive trumps their right to receive something that is actually useful to them for their wedding, but I know some posters see it as their god given right to palm off a toaster or some monogrammed towels and see a request for cash as a totally unjustifiable infringement.

All that said - please steer clear of poems, they’re so naff. A simple, polite message like ‘Your company at our wedding is all we request, but if you would like to give a gift, any contribution to our honeymoon fund would be most gratefully received’ is more than sufficient.

I wouldn’t mention anything in the invite. It really is tacky.

I wouldn't put anything in the invitation at all. I didn't when I got married.

Its absolutely fine. I would much rather be able to donate some money to honeymoon rather than either be constrained by a list with items for set amounts on it or, worst of all, have no steer at all and have to try and guess what someone might want.

Don't do a poem though. That's totally cringe.

That is very grabby and cheeky IMHO. Awful.

I don't think it's bad at all to request money instead of gifts...

Who wants twenty tea towels or a toaster when you've already been living together for years?

We simply said to family/ friends please no 'house gifts' and everyone gave us money.. we didn't need it for our honeymoon as it was already paid for (but who cares even if it was).

Our wedding was aprox £140 per person and I'd rather a £20 voucher than an ASDA kettle.

I LOVE when a couple asks for money/ vouchers... if they don't I just know they'll end up with twenty YANKEE candles or several photo frames! Ask for what you want!

Would you not receive money anyways as gifts?
Personally receiving that in an invite I would be more inclined to buy the couple a blender, it’s very cheeky in my humble opinion.

It is rather gauche to put anything in an invitation about gifts, be they presents or money. Don’t put anything in, and if people ask if you’ve registered anywhere you say “no we haven’t, we have everything we need really, thank you”. They then get the message that if they want to give you a gift, you’d prefer money.

Poems, holiday funds, contributions to our X or the dreaded ' we are having a wishing well' are cringey and un necessary. I didnt add anything about gifts/cash etc and 95% of people gave cash or vouchers. We did get a lovely, thick set of matching bathroom towels which we still use. Close family and friends will know you want cash, and most other people will too.

No poem please. It is tacky

We asked for money for our honeymoon. What we then did was send pictures to people of what their money had paid for e.g a helicopter trip over the Grand Canyon (this was a combination of the same family so we used their money together). I think if you are showing them what you used it for it's nicer.