Neighbours - is this a child safety issue or do I keep my beak out?

[njf33]

Neighbours live in a small new build style 2 bed house. Ground floor is effectively all open plan. They have 4 children (mix of boys and girls) - youngest around 5, eldest started secondary school last year so 12, coming up for 13 I guess. All 4 children share a room which personally I don't think is appropriate given the age of the eldest girl who either is or will shortly be going through puberty. They own rather than rent, we're in an expensive area so their house would be worth 350-400k.

More seriously, they leave all their children to play outside all day unsupervised, and have done for years. We're on a busy road (main road out of an estate) which is also a bus route. The youngest child in particular has no road sense and I have seen several near misses where he hasn't looked before running across the road, although none of them are particularly traffic aware. I've had all of them running across my drive while I'm reversing, or just standing on the pavement (my car is quite high up, and it's quite easy for them to end up in my blind spot) and they do this to other neighbours too. They also ride their bikes and electric scooters down the middle of the road again not properly watching for traffic.

I understand children need to play etc however as parents I feel we have a duty to make sure our children can do so safely before allowing them out unsupervised especially on a road where there is a fair amount of passing traffic. As to how I know they are unsupervised, you can't see into the street easily from our houses due to the road layout; occasionally (usually after a near miss) one parent will stand outside in the front garden for an hour or two 'watching' but they normally get bored of that after a day or so and go back inside leaving children to their own devices.

I think there is an issue here - so YANBU - yes, do something or YABU (beak out).

@njf33

In terms of finances, I know that they have lived there for 10+ years and prices have gone up by approx 100k in that time. Both parents are in employment, which does suggest they could afford to move to a larger property in a cheaper area.

I know they all share a room (with 2 sets of bunk beds). The other bedroom which I can see from my house is clearly the parents room. I know of families where 3 or 4 number of same sex siblings share a room (and imo thats fine) , but that isn't the case here.

To be honest, I was more concerned about road safety than the rooms, but both suggest to me a lack of care for the children's welfare.

Maybe they have remortgaged and have no equity. Maybe they don't want to move to a cheaper area as the schools are shit in that area (that to me would be putting the children first for education). You do not know there financial arrangements at all, you are guessing based on a house price.

I think you need to keep your nose out of their sleeping arrangements.

As for the road situation, maybe speak to the mum or dad and say you are really concerned about them and the road? But say it in a nice way not with the judgy pants you have on here.

They can have any car they like and can afford- as long as they drive it safely. As can you.

As a female living alone I would be concerned about intimidation. Both parents are overly aggressive in their manner and feeling safe and secure in my own home is very important to me.
I have been planning to relocate however due to Covid 19 our jobs are likely to be placed at risk early next year, and so I need to wait to see the outcome of that through.

Who's the our jobs?
Op make up your mind, are you on your own or not?

Reality is you don't want to live beside a large family. And what them to take the financial risk of remortgaging buying a different house in the current financial climate.

So you can't move due to COVID, what makes you think your neighbours haven't got the same issue?

There's a far greater chance of them being run over by a bus, van, delivery bike, or indeed one of the local youths revving about in their cars doing balloons than there is of me (or the other neighbours with driveways) colliding with them at 1-2mph. So I think my NCD is safe, thanks :)

Do you live alone or not @njf33? "Our jobs"?

@Blackbear19

As a female living alone I would be concerned about intimidation. Both parents are overly aggressive in their manner and feeling safe and secure in my own home is very important to me. I have been planning to relocate however due to Covid 19 our jobs are likely to be placed at risk early next year, and so I need to wait to see the outcome of that through.

Who's the our jobs?
Op make up your mind, are you on your own or not?

Reality is you don't want to live beside a large family. And what them to take the financial risk of remortgaging buying a different house in the current financial climate.

Our jobs = all the jobs in the organisation I am employed by. Myself and my fellow employees.

Please try to stop nitpicking my posts, it is rather asinine.

It's also extremely asinine to assume a financial ability on very little information.

Wouldn't you agree @njf33 ?

You probably wouldn’t get people nitpicking if you didn’t lie change your mind so often about what the issue is, and kept your story straight.

Let us know what social work say, won’t you? And how you get on with the driving lessons 👍

Interesting. I thought you may have sold a parcel of 'your' land to developers and still considered the 'new' owners to be your tenants.

So, 10 years ago you were thinking of buying a neighbouring property worth 250-300k at that time as a buy to let investment?

You like to speculate about other people's finances so clearly don't think it's private. Would this have been an outright purchase or was your salary large enough to fund a second mortgage of this size? Do you own your own house outright?

If you are so cash rich why would Covid and threatened job losses be a barrier to you relocating?

You could report the road/traffic issue if you are concerned. I am not sure it will rank highly up the list of concerns for SS but no reason not to.

The bedroom sharing is simply not reportable. Councils are currently housing people in one and two bed properties with multiple children.

It sounds like you have put up with it for a long time so odd to report now.

As to not wanting to live next door to a large family, one former neighbour had at least 6 children (I'm not sure exactly how many as some were adults and no longer living at home) albeit in a larger home. I had absolutely no issues with them, the entire family were very polite and respectful. The younger children played in the garden or I think were taken to the park. Never saw them playing in the street nor did they obstruct anyone's cars.

Pumper, I'll arrange my advanced driving lessons right after you sort yourself out some much needed literacy and comprehension ones. I think they still offer those free in some areas so no problem for you getting those arranged tout suite :)

KeepOnKeepingOnAgainandAgain I have already said I would have been taking on a BTL mortgage. Read my previous post. I think that explains the financing. I had some money earmarked as a deposit, I have since invested that on a long term basis elsewhere.

In terms of my job, there is obviously a financial benefit to redundancy, hence many of us (by us I mean colleagues, especially those of us with more than 10 years employment) are waiting to see how things pan out rather than looking for new roles now - especially as in our (again, referring to myself and my colleagues) sector many organisations are also going through a period of significant change and have frozen recruitment above the most junior roles. HTH.

@njf33

Pumper, I'll arrange my advanced driving lessons right after you sort yourself out some much needed literacy and comprehension ones. I think they still offer those free in some areas so no problem for you getting those arranged tout suite :)

KeepOnKeepingOnAgainandAgain I have already said I would have been taking on a BTL mortgage. Read my previous post. I think that explains the financing. I had some money earmarked as a deposit, I have since invested that on a long term basis elsewhere.

In terms of my job, there is obviously a financial benefit to redundancy, hence many of us (by us I mean colleagues, especially those of us with more than 10 years employment) are waiting to see how things pan out rather than looking for new roles now - especially as in our (again, referring to myself and my colleagues) sector many organisations are also going through a period of significant change and have frozen recruitment above the most junior roles. HTH.

Funnily enough, English isn’t my first language so sometimes I do struggle with comprehension - not helped when someone uses ‘our’ repeatedly in the wrong context, then complains that nobody understands what they meant.

But your thread hasn’t gone the way you want, you’ve been pulled up for driving poorly and for peeking on your neighbours, I understand why you’d be embarrassed enough to want to lash out.

'Hello, is that Social Services? I'd like to report somebody because they got a mortgage for £280,000 when they were both working fulltime and could self declare earnings for a 110% mortgage, but now can't get one for £550-600K when their childcare costs are taken into account, their wages are significantly impacted by maternity leave/changing job and I think this is neglectful of the children as the eldest will obviously want to sexually assault the younger ones on his 13th birthday. Oh, and I can't see them over the bonnet of my big car'.

@MitziK

'Hello, is that Social Services? I'd like to report somebody because they got a mortgage for £280,000 when they were both working fulltime and could self declare earnings for a 110% mortgage, but now can't get one for £550-600K when their childcare costs are taken into account, their wages are significantly impacted by maternity leave/changing job and I think this is neglectful of the children as the eldest will obviously want to sexually assault the younger ones on his 13th birthday. Oh, and I can't see them over the bonnet of my big car'.

@MitziK

'Hello, is that Social Services? I'd like to report somebody because they got a mortgage for £280,000 when they were both working fulltime and could self declare earnings for a 110% mortgage, but now can't get one for £550-600K when their childcare costs are taken into account, their wages are significantly impacted by maternity leave/changing job and I think this is neglectful of the children as the eldest will obviously want to sexually assault the younger ones on his 13th birthday. Oh, and I can't see them over the bonnet of my big car'.

haha brilliant

@Pumperthepumper

As someone who edits words for a living, your written English is far better than most native English speakers, and I can't see at all what the issue is here.

Who said English was my first language?

I was on the fence about reporting it, and the voting is 50/50 which shows that half the people responding think it is report worthy :) So certainly not a landslide in favour of ignoring it. I don't feel embarrassed in the slightest ;) maybe you are projecting your own feelings?

MN is a funny old place.

You don't give your children a hot dinner - neglectful.

You let them street rake around all day unsupervised from pre-school age - that's absolutely fine, and if they run out into the road and a car hits them, that's the fault of the car driver, the parents couldn't possibly be to blame and are in no way failing to meet their children's needs.

I'm glad only 50% of people think like this!

Although it is none of my business, I have issues that OP in not very polite nor respectful. Also road safety concerns and under occupancy of home and maybe car. Who should I report this to?

@KeepOnKeepingOnAgainandAgain

Although it is none of my business, I have issues that OP in not very polite nor respectful. Also road safety concerns and under occupancy of home and maybe car. Who should I report this to?

Try filing it under WPB. Or putting it on your blog.

There's some other places you might like to try but I'll leave you to work those out yourself eh?

The 'Bedroom Tax' thing seems to have confused a lot of people and they have extrapolated it into some kind of legislation preventing siblings from sharing bedrooms.

Child playing out and getting into danger is a concern. The number of bedrooms is probably not. I'm sure the whole family would like to live in a bigger house.

I would tell one of the parents about any specific dangerous incidents you have seen factually, with no added opinion.

I have a friend who rents a small flat: living room, kitchen, bedroom, bathroom.
The mum, dad, and two kids all share a bedroom.

Urban dictionary defines WPB as meaning - we pull bitches. OK. That makes sense if that's how you self identify.

I don't have a blog and even if I did you wouldn't meet the cut.

You don't need a vote in real child protection issues. Go with your conscience.

[quote JuniperFather]@Pumperthepumper

As someone who edits words for a living, your written English is far better than most native English speakers, and I can't see at all what the issue is here.[/quote]
Thanks Juniper! That’s a nice thing to say, and I appreciate it

I’m a really good driver too 👍