Neighbours - is this a child safety issue or do I keep my beak out?

[njf33]

Neighbours live in a small new build style 2 bed house. Ground floor is effectively all open plan. They have 4 children (mix of boys and girls) - youngest around 5, eldest started secondary school last year so 12, coming up for 13 I guess. All 4 children share a room which personally I don't think is appropriate given the age of the eldest girl who either is or will shortly be going through puberty. They own rather than rent, we're in an expensive area so their house would be worth 350-400k.

More seriously, they leave all their children to play outside all day unsupervised, and have done for years. We're on a busy road (main road out of an estate) which is also a bus route. The youngest child in particular has no road sense and I have seen several near misses where he hasn't looked before running across the road, although none of them are particularly traffic aware. I've had all of them running across my drive while I'm reversing, or just standing on the pavement (my car is quite high up, and it's quite easy for them to end up in my blind spot) and they do this to other neighbours too. They also ride their bikes and electric scooters down the middle of the road again not properly watching for traffic.

I understand children need to play etc however as parents I feel we have a duty to make sure our children can do so safely before allowing them out unsupervised especially on a road where there is a fair amount of passing traffic. As to how I know they are unsupervised, you can't see into the street easily from our houses due to the road layout; occasionally (usually after a near miss) one parent will stand outside in the front garden for an hour or two 'watching' but they normally get bored of that after a day or so and go back inside leaving children to their own devices.

I think there is an issue here - so YANBU - yes, do something or YABU (beak out).

Isn't it odd that no one has traipsed out the don't have more children than you can house line, although it usually only appears on council house threads so I guess it's fine if someone is renting or owns the house they're above the general MN judgement and the OP is told to mind their business.

@Diceroll

Isn't it odd that no one has traipsed out the don't have more children than you can house line, although it usually only appears on council house threads so I guess it's fine if someone is renting or owns the house they're above the general MN judgement and the OP is told to mind their business.

They ARE housing them.

I find this keeness to report bizarre. Thankfully an ex SW has chimed in to shed some light saying these would be considered minor/non issues

I suggest you speak to your neighbor about your concerns about the road instead of judging them because 4 kids share one room.

@Diceroll perhaps because they aren't relying on the state to house them and they are living within their means (from the situation that has been posted)?

For the room sharing - mind your own business. You have no idea whether that’s actually true, whether any of the children have an issue with it, or what their reasons are for staying. Clearly it’s not for the neighbourly relations but really how on earth can you make an assumption about their ability to move home just because they both work?!

Re the running behind cars - next time it happens, knock on the door and tell a parent you almost ran down their child because he ran behind your car. If they shout at you then you’ve done your bit and you can make a decision whether or not you think SS will have the capacity to get involved.

Keep your beak out !!!

@Jargo If you were worried about their safety, you would be reverse parking to ensure that your driving manner was in the safest way possible. What is this magic that means children are totally safe if you are reversing onto a drive when they are in danger if you are reversing off the drive? It is obviously safer in regard to traffic on the road but children running across your drive?

This is a first world problems post if ever I've seen one. If the kids are getting on your way speak to the parents. The size of the house they live on has nothing to do with you.

You sound like a busybody, but the road safety issue sounds like a legitimate concern. Not sure what practical recourse you have, however.

I’m in a 2 bed with a 15 year old girl, 9 year old boy and 4 year old girl. We gave our bedroom up years ago and sleep in the living room. How do you know these people haven’t done that?

Another weird thing is, you say the children played outside unsupervised for years. If you are genuinely concerned, why you never raised this issue when they were even younger and even more vulnerable?

Have you mentioned to the neighbours. that they have too many children in one bedroom, and that they are the wrong sex and age group to be sharing, Have you told the neighbours that their children have no road sense.. Have you informed them that they need a bigger house.!!!!!

@ancientgran it has been proven that is much safer which is why many places insist on it.

Specifically for drives - the pavements are higher than the road and so you are more likely to see a child. The end of the drive is also usually higher.

It also means you have to stop the car and consider your reverse rather than just swing into the drive from the main flow of traffic.

Sorry Op you need to mind your own business.
Sharing a room is fine.
How they play is up to there parents.

Oops, I missed this.

"I know they all share a room (with 2 sets of bunk beds). The other bedroom which I can see from my house is clearly the parents room."

Can't you see what you are doing is really creepy and stalkerish? If some one said that to me, it will freak me out.

the eldest is old enough to be responsible for the younger outside,

No child should ever have to assume responsibility for the well-being and safety of another child.

n terms of finances, I know that they have lived there for 10+ years and prices have gone up by approx 100k in that time. Both parents are in employment, which does suggest they could afford to move to a larger property in a cheaper area

Well best you get round there and tell them to sell up and move 🙄🙄

Op, you seem over invested. Just be careful when you drive, nothing else is your concern really.

VeniceQueen2004 totally agree. It's almost as if the road safety issue has been squeezed out to justify reporting them for sharing rooms. Next op will defend by providing us their income breakdown and savings. Just because two people work doesn't mean they have excess cash.
Given that councils sometimes crowd bigger families in two bedroom houses, and given what a good neighbour OP is, I suggest they buy the family a 7 bedroomed house in an area of their choosing. Each kid can have their own room as will mummy and daddy and guest. Life is that simple isn't it OP?

Can’t you have a quiet word with their parents about the road safety issue - obviously people who live close by and are aware that the children may run out, such as you, take extra care, but others driving along the road may not.

@nokidshere

Don't be so ridiculous. Plenty of teenagers take on babysitting to earn extra cash.

The room sharing is fine, it's the norm in many families who can afford a home but not a large one, or who don't have the income to rent a home big enough for separate bedrooms. I had ds and dd sharing until the eldest was about 14 and we moved house. I know plenty of other families who've done this too. I'm not aware of anything bad happening or any of them being reported to social services.

I'd also not be concerned about them playing out a lot, but the lack of road sense is a problem. Have you mentioned to the parents that you've seen a few incidents where you were worried the dcs weren't crossing the road safely? If you think they aren't taking enough notice, I would maybe ring their school? I once rang a local school because I was worried about a couple of boys who were repeatedly doing wheelies down my busy road after school and had a couple of near misses. It happened much less frequently after that, so either there was some kind of action taken or they avoided my street.

I agree with others who say reverse onto your drive. It's your responsibility to drive across the pavement safely, and if you know that kids repeatedly get into your blindspot, parking the other way round would avoid that - for your own benefit as much as theirs.

I think mostly YABU.

Oh FFS OP, you sound nosy and over-invested.

How do you know they all share a room? Maybe the girls share and the boys share the second room and the parents sleep on a pull-out in the sitting room? You don't know do you.

I'm sure it's not their preference to live in a 2 bed house but that's probably all they can afford.

Try not to run one of them over.

@funnyonion1 she knows as she has been nosing through their windows.

funnyonion1, she can see it from her house, OP said it in her comment. Though it really creep me out, someone is actually looking into your house so closely and checking out who sleeps in which room.